Please read. Significant change on the site that will affect compatibility [ Dismiss ]
Home ยป Forum ยป Editors/Reviewers Hangout

Forum: Editors/Reviewers Hangout

Pay attention to the plurality

Switch Blayde ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

I'm reading a great story with a great 1st-person narrator's voice, but it's in desperate need of editing. I keep coming upon things you editors should be aware of when editing โ€” plurality.

How many times have you read: "He dropped his hands to his side"? It should be "sides," plural, unless he dropped both his hands to the same side of his body.

In the story I'm reading, he wrote: "He reached over and took my cheek into his hands, tipped my face up to his." He grabbed her cheek with both hands to tip her face up? Of course it should be "cheeks." Plural.

And a few paragraphs later, he wrote: "I pulled myself up along his body resting my inflamed pussy on his hips." That's one wide pussy to be on both his hips at the same time. Of course it should be "hip." Singular.

I'm not picking on this author. I see this way too often on SOL so I thought I'd bring it to your attention so that you would be aware of it while editing.

ETA: corrected a typo in my example โ€” "hand" should have been "hands." Actually, it probably should be "arms."

Replies:   Keet  Michael Loucks
Keet ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

When I read those examples I have to agree. Some readers will not notice them but they would annoy me too.
This one however:

"He dropped his hand to his side"? It should be "sides," plural, unless he dropped both his hands to the same side of his body.

It should not be 'sides' for the same reason you mentioned with the other examples: you can't drop a single hand to multiple sides, so 'side' is correct with one 'hand'. Unless you mistyped 'hands' as 'hand' of course, then it should be 'sides'.

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Keet

you can't drop a single hand to multiple sides

Sorry, the line wasn't copied and pasted. I typed it and made a typo. I'll correct my original post. I meant to type "hands."

(As a lame excuse for my mistake, I can't see an optometrist (for glasses) until my 90-day healing is over from the eye surgery. I still have about a month and a half to go. So I have trouble seeing the computer screen. I had monovision (20/20 and 20/70). The 20/70 eye is the one I lost vision in so I'm reading with my distance eye (the 20/20 one). And it's not working too great. It's not clear, I have double vision (because of the great difference between the two eyes), and horrendous depth perception.)

The real bummer is, I'm doing the final read-thru of my current novel and am struggling. In Word, I set the font size to 300% which helped some.

Replies:   StarFleet Carl  Keet  sharkjcw
StarFleet Carl ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

I had monovision (20/20 and 20/70). The 20/70 eye is the one I lost vision in so I'm reading with my distance eye (the 20/20 one). And it's not working too great. It's not clear, I have double vision (because of the great difference between the two eyes), and horrendous depth perception.

20/30 in one eye for me, 20/600 (legally blind) in the other. With glasses, both eyes correctable to 20/20. What's depth perception? I simply don't see with both eyes at the same time. My brain just switches between them, depending upon which way I need to see.

And yes, not having depth perception made for a LOT of fun as a forklift operator in the car factory.

I typically zoom my screens between 125 - 150%, just on normal browsing, which helps.

Replies:   Switch Blayde  GreyWolf
Switch Blayde ๐Ÿšซ

@StarFleet Carl

With glasses, both eyes correctable to 20/20.

That won't be my case. The glaucoma caused irreversible optical nerve damage in that eye so glasses won't help that. It can't improve what isn't there.

But I can have reading glasses for my 20/20 eye. My wife has distance glasses, computer glasses, and reading glasses so maybe the computer isn't the same as reading. I'm on a laptop so I need to get a large screen. What I do about my bad eye, I don't know. My surgeon's office had me look thru pinholes and I saw better so maybe there's a lens that can help. Won't know for a month or so.

Replies:   StarFleet Carl
StarFleet Carl ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

My wife has distance glasses, computer glasses, and reading glasses so maybe the computer isn't the same as reading.

That's actually correct, although a lot of people don't realize it. When you're reading words in a book, the book is illuminated with reflected light. With computer screens, the actual light source is BEHIND the letters. It's effectively like staring into a light bulb for a long time. That's why taking breaks from looking at the screens is so important.

GreyWolf ๐Ÿšซ

@StarFleet Carl

You've likely seen this, but just in case, since the subject of forklift operators came up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAHzP4umE4M

Someone at my old job found that and shared it at a team meeting.

Keet ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

So I have trouble seeing the computer screen.

I understand the problem. I have enlarged letters too on my computer and mostly dark modes because they are easier for me to read. And I have to do it one eye (lost the other one when I was 5) and the 'good' one is getting worse with the years.

sharkjcw ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

I feel your pain. Just had cataract surgery left eye 20/30 right was 20/70 at last visit. Going back for last follow up next week.

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde ๐Ÿšซ

@sharkjcw

I feel your pain. Just had cataract surgery left eye

I've had 6 surgeries on my left eye.

1. Lasek
2. torn retina
3. cataract
4. a laser surgery to poke holes in the eye to relieve the pressure
5. canaloplasty (fed a catheter through the tube encircling the eyeball and removed it to make the tube larger so the fluid drains - to reduce the pressure)
6. Glaucoma implant (inserted a permanent plastic tube (stent) in the eyeball to drain the fluid to reduce the pressure - this is the one I'm still healing from).

But none of that caused the loss of vision. The Glaucoma did that. Three of the six surgeries were to reduce the pressure in the eye to prevent/delay the damage. The surgeon said I will eventually go blind. I asked how I can stop it and his answer was not to get older.

Imagine going to sleep with great vision (20/20 in right eye for distance and 20/70 in left eye for reading (monovision) - what it was after the Lasek) and wake up the next morning basically blind in the left eye. It happened that fast.

Good luck on your cataract surgery. Something to be aware of. Sometimes (quite often) the lens will fog up and they'll have to do something. I'm not sure what they do because it didn't happen to me. From what I know, though, it's an easy fix).

Michael Loucks ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

How many times have you read: "He dropped his hands to his side"? It should be "sides," plural, unless he dropped both his hands to the same side of his body.

I think you read it because that is how it is said in everyday speech. A quick Google search for the exact phrase turned up 1.3 million hits.

'Correct' or not, it is used that way in the vernacular.

Back to Top

Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.


Log In