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Daughter of the One that Got Away

duncanidaho 🚫

When you were young did you ever lose the one that you actually thought was the one? Think about many years down the road and one day you run into a girl who reminds you of the one that got away, only to find out she is the daughter of the one who got away and is all grown up.

Replies:   akarge
akarge 🚫
Updated:

@duncanidaho

Weirdly enough, the first thing that popped into my mind after reading that is a dead tree book by Robert Heinlein. Time for the Stars. One of the " juveniles."

Science fiction. Twins are trained in "Twin telepathy". They are going to be communicating between Earth and spaceships. Twin A is the Home guy and he is dating a girl. Twin B gets hurts himself, ("accidentally on purpose") and they swap assignments. B gets the girl. A goes to the stars

Time dilation due to near light speed means Twin B ages much faster .They have a girl. The daughter manages to develop a telepathic link. Then SHE has a daughter. She develops a link.

The ship comes back and A ends up with his grand niece. (Or maybe it was his Great grand niece, it's been about 50 years)

Replies:   duncanidaho
duncanidaho 🚫

@akarge

Sometimes when I think of an idea I will try and write something down to get it started and also so I can remember what I was thinking. Here is what I was thinking:

Chapter 1: The Ghost of Amanda

The fluorescent lights of the grocery store hummed their dull, familiar song as I rounded the corner near the organic produce. My basket was a sad collection of bachelor staples: a box of protein bars, a six-pack of IPA, a bag of pre-washed spinach I'd likely forget about until it turned to sludge. I was not looking for anything, least of all a ghost.

Then I saw her.

She was standing by the citrus, turning a navel orange over in her palm, scrutinizing it with a small, focused frown. The profile hit me like a physical blow to the sternum. The same high cheekbones. The same way her dark hair, cut in a modern, shoulder-length bob, fell forward to curtain her face. The same delicately pointed chin. The resemblance wasn't just passing; it was uncanny. It was as if the last twenty-five years had folded in on themselves and spat me back out at thirty-two, watching Amanda debate the merits of a piece of fruit.

My feet stopped moving. My heart hammered a frantic, irregular rhythm against my ribs. This woman was younger, early twenties, maybe. Her jeans were high-waisted and she wore a simple white t-shirt, a far cry from the business-casual blouses Amanda had favored. But the way she moved, the elegant line of her neck as she tilted her head, it was a perfect, painful echo.

She must have felt the weight of my stare. Her head lifted, and her eyes met mine.

They were dark and intelligent, and for a split second, I was somewhere else entirely—a cramped office breakroom, a stolen glance over lukewarm coffee. But there was no flicker of recognition in her gaze. Only a mild, curious inquiry at the strange man frozen in the middle of the aisle, gawking at her.

Heat flushed up my neck. I needed to move, to say something, to do anything other than stand there like a stunned ox. My brain, usually a fairly reliable organ, had short-circuited completely.

Look away. Just look away and move on. It's not her.

I forced my legs to work, pushing my cart forward a few feet, pretending a sudden interest in the avocados. I could feel her eyes on me for another moment before she turned back to her oranges. I risked a glance. She placed two in a small produce bag, her movements precise and economical.

My mind was racing. It was an impossible coincidence. The world was big and full of people, but to see a face that so perfectly mirrored a woman I had once loved, a woman I had let slip through my fingers, right here in my local grocery store? It felt like a sign, or a cruel joke.

I had to know. It was insane, but I had to at least hear her voice. Maybe that would break the spell. Maybe she'd sound completely different, and I could return to my protein bars and my lonely apartment and forget this ever happened.

Compelled by a force I didn't quite understand, I abandoned my cart and walked toward her. My palms were suddenly damp. I stopped a respectful few feet away, my mouth dry.

"Excuse me," I said, my voice coming out as a croak. I cleared my throat.

She looked up, her expression open and patient. "Yes?"

Her voice was different. Lower, with a warm, slightly husky quality that sent an unexpected shiver down my spine. It was not Amanda's voice, but it was just as alluring.

"I... I'm sorry to bother you," I stammered, feeling like a complete idiot. "This is going to sound crazy, but you look exactly like someone I used to know."

A slow smile spread across her lips. It was a knowing, almost playful smile, one that suggested she'd heard this line before and was deciding whether it was a clumsy pick-up attempt.

"Does that line usually work?" she asked, a single eyebrow arching.

"No, it's not a line," I said quickly, my face burning. "I mean, you're beautiful, but that's not... I'm not trying to hit on you. It's just... uncanny."

The smile faltered slightly as she looked into my eyes, and I watched her register the genuine shock that must have been written all over my face. The playfulness in her eyes shifted into something more considered.

"Who did I look like?" she asked, her head tilting slightly in a way that was so achingly familiar it made my chest tight.

"Someone I knew a long time ago," I said, my voice low. "Her name was Amanda."

The name hung in the air between us. I expected her to shrug, to offer a polite "that's nice," and to go back to her shopping. I expected the universe to snap back into its usual, mundane focus.

Instead, the young woman went very still. The blood drained from her face, and the orange in her hand slipped from her fingers. It landed on the linoleum floor with a soft, heavy thud and rolled lazily under the display case.

Her dark eyes, which had been so calm and amused moments before, were now wide with a shock that mirrored my own.

"Amanda?" she repeated, her voice barely a whisper. "Amanda... Chen?"

It was my turn to go still. The air in the produce section seemed to thicken, the hum of the refrigerators fading into a distant buzz. My heart, which had only just begun to slow, lurched back into a frantic gallop.

"Yes," I breathed. "Amanda Chen. You... you know her?"

The young woman swallowed hard. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She just stared at me, her chest rising and falling rapidly, a thousand unspoken things swirling in the depths of her eyes.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she whispered, "She is my mother."

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