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Do You Haiku …?

Paige Hawthorne 🚫

Neither do I. Although eons ago, I did take a creative writing class. We spent a couple of weeks on 17-syllable pieces, none of which, if I remember accurately, turned out to be very good.

However, the exercise may have been useful in imposing some discipline to the writing process. It takes a bit of concentration to tamp things down to a five-syllable line, then seven, then five again.

That said … I suspect that a mediocre storywriter would be a mediocre poet too. For example, I might write:

"A rabbit hopped through the back yard."

Johnny Keats put it this way:

"The hare limp'd trembling through the frozen grass."

Or …

I might say:

"Your mother left."

While professional songwriters …

"She's long gone with her red shoes on."

The inclusion of the words 'limp'd trembling' and 'red shoes' makes the prose so much more vivid, n'est-ce pas?

Back to haikus … here's one I dashed off this morning just for the fun of it:

"The spindly geezer
slowly stork-walked around
glossy ice patches."

Do you haiku …?

Paige

Replies:   palamedes  Radagast  bk69
palamedes 🚫

@Paige Hawthorne

Do you haiku …?

gesundheit

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@palamedes

Dog bless you!

Replies:   palamedes
palamedes 🚫

@Dominions Son

it wasn't me it was Paige Hawthorne that made all the noise.

Radagast 🚫

@Paige Hawthorne

"The spindly geezer
slowly stork-walked around
glossy ice patches."

I feel you have a good handle on the average SOL reader/writer.

Quasirandom 🚫

I do haiku, a lot. Though not as much as I tanka, the poem form that haiku developed from. It looks like a haiku with two more seven-syllable lines.

Both are good exercises in writing both vividly and concisely. The advantage of tanka is that, because a purely descriptive tanka almost always feels flat, you need to also fit a concise narrative in there as well.

Replies:   garymrssn
garymrssn 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom


Both are good exercises in writing both vividly and concisely.

I can get the concise

I'm still working on vivid

This makes my head hurt

Edit to add:

Now you want two extra lines?

Where's my stash of Tylenol?

bk69 🚫

@Paige Hawthorne

The spindly geezer
slowly stork-walked around
glossy ice patches.

Five-seven-five, but
no season reference; so
not a real haiku.

daisydesiree 🚫

Awakened touch pink lips mine
Spring enlivens my spirit filled with sunshine
White rain in my flower

Ernest Bywater 🚫

I prefer the Haka to the Haiku

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI6TRTBZUMM

Replies:   palamedes
palamedes 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

It is always nice to see the Honor given to those that have passed away. I have no idea who that person was but there is no doubt they where Loved and will be Missed.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater 🚫

@palamedes

It is always nice to see the Honor given to those that have passed away. I have no idea who that person was but there is no doubt they where Loved and will be Missed.

Very true.

Dominions Son 🚫

https://www.poem-generator.org.uk/haiku/

Pond - A Haiku
by Anonymous
Semiarid hillside
How a little, soft pond sleeps
watching the hammer

Switch Blayde 🚫

Her skirt is too short
Bright blue, silky to the touch
Oops, bright red panties

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