@joyR
Truth is you are not blessed with the looks that women dream of
Sadly correct. I have a face for radio and a voice for silent movies :(
you're barely average in all but your waist line...
Correct again. I actually have a waist when most men of my age don't. The trouble is, I don't need to expose my ovaries to show I'm ovulating and I don't need to expose my bum crack to let other men know I'm sexually available so I'd like to use my waist as something to hang clothes from, since I find that more comfortable than wearing hipsters. Chance would be a fine thing!
But when you slouch there drooling and licking your eyebrows...
Slouching and drooling - correct. Licking my eyebrows - wrong hair. I'm licking my tache. Or rather I was, but all remnants of dinner have now gone.
AJ