Forum: Author Hangout

I've always admired striking opening lines and quick, catchy quips, but I've also always thought that authors like Agatha Christie were nothing but hacks who just happen to have a knack for a turn of phrase. Her stories were really never anything to write home about≤ but her one-liners were killers (pun intended).

In my case, I tend towards REALLY boring openings, where someone is going about their normal, daily activities and something shocks them their normal worlds: they discover a previously undiscovered principal of nature, people are strangely attracted or attack them for no specific reason, and then a long running mystery unfolds, whether the mystery is scientific or the hunt for a murderer.

Unfortunately, to set up such a story, you not only have to describe just how plain and boring the previous life was, you then get sucked into describing the details of the 'unexplained' event, so the first few chapters sink into unnecessary back story, setting up the larger mystery which drives the rest of the story.

I have yet to figure out how to circumvent that problem, but I continue working on it. Still, I'm working on stronger opening lines, yet it's simply not my strength as an author.

As a side note, someone needs to start a discussion that focuses exclusively on opening lines in SOL stories, whether submitted my authors or readers, and the opening lines can be either excellent, or simply strikingly bad, either way is ultimately enlightening.

Then, maybe another thread on opening line descriptions of scenery and weather. ;D

describing the details of the 'unexplained' event, so the first few chapters sink into unnecessary back story, setting up the larger mystery which drives the rest of the story.

I have yet to figure out how to circumvent that problem,

That's one use of a prologue (but probably why many people (at least the young ones on wattpad)) don't read prologues.

That's one use of a prologue (but probably why many people (at least the young ones on wattpad)) don't read prologues.

Sorry, but the purpose of prologues is to either reveal information the characters don't know, or to draw the reader into the story. It's NOT to serve as an infodump for all the bogus crap which doesn't belong in the body of the story!!! :(

prologue

The difference between a prolog and and amateurlog is whether the logger is paid or not.

Is that a Login your eye, or are you Happy to see me? 'D (a REALLY weak 'speck in your eye' pun-ishment for my one-time readers).

In my case, I tend towards REALLY boring openings, where someone is going about their normal, daily activities and something shocks them their normal worlds:

There's probably a consensus amongst writing experts that starting a book, or even a chapter, with an alarm clock ringing is very poor.

I started an as yet incomplete story with an alarm clock ringing. However the twist was that the familiarity of the sound indicated to the protagonist that he was stuck in the same body as the previous X times, and doomed to live the same day yet again while trying to work out what he was supposed to do differently. So far the start hasn't been subject to external critique.

AJ

So far the start hasn't been subject to external critique.

Probably because, the protagonist is so used to the constantly ringing alarm, he continues to oversleep his posting deadlines. ;D

So far the start hasn't been subject to external critique.

Probably because, the protagonist is so used to the constantly ringing alarm, he continues to oversleep his posting deadlines. ;D

I never thought much of "Call me Ishmael" as a great first line.

Most of the nuances have been lost. The narrator almost certainly wasn't called Ishmael, and to understand the full significance the reader has to be intimately acquainted with parts of the Old Testament of the Christian Bible.

AJ

Good point, but Herman Melville was almost certainly writing from a Christian point of view.

AJ

Good point, but Herman Melville was almost certainly writing from a Christian point of view.

So did C.S. Lewis, but his stories were much easier to read. As the old saying goes, "If your stories are too complex for adults, then write it for children instead." (Forgot who said that line, and I'm too lazy to waste time searching for it.)

Children are more flexible in their believes, and more willing to accept fantasy as valid than adults addicted to novels 'following the rules'.

Ah, found it just before posting. The correct epigraph is:

You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.

~ Madeline L'Engle

By the way, my first first-paragraph quote was a story tackling difficult issues dealing with childhood sexual abuse, so I decided to write it as a Children's book for adults. We'll see how it sells when I eventually post it on Amazon!

Big news, congratulations! Title? Publisher?

It took well over a year to write and edit so I do feel a sense of accomplishment. At over 91,000 words, it's also my longest.

As you can tell by the cover and title, it's more a mystery/thriller than erotica, but because of the graphic sex (which is integral to the plot) I couldn't even attempt the traditional route. So it's on Amazon. I was reading thrillers by best selling authors while writing it and I'll put mine up against any of those traditionally published novels.

It's called "High School Massacre" and published under my pen name S.W. Blayde. Links aren't allowed here, but the ASIN is B07XGBLDM9 which can be searched on Amazon.

Yes, your starts are relatively slow. They're written well but if kept going for a while, I could see myself wandering off. The first has my attention. The girl has a Luna Lovegood feel to me. The latter has an unhurried psychedelia trip feel to it. Really getting drawn into the details. Though I think its lost me.

Much of that is the stories themselves. The first is written from a child's perspective, thus it uses simplistic sentences and shorter sentences. My normal stories involve a group of adults or late teens who encounter a scientific oddity and then seek to gather evidence and form hypotheses. (i.e. it's meant to be read slower).

Also, the second example was also overly flowerly and nice but largely meaningless scenery descriptions. It was my earliest work, and is now showing its age. :(

I'll have to dig out a more recent 'plodding' storyline so you get a better comparison, but I've NEVER been good at one-liners, and typically write in complex 30 to 50 word sentences.

Terry Pratchett (or was it Douglas Adams?) said ...

"Easy reading is damned hard writing" is attributed to Nathaniel Hawthorne everywhere I've ever seen it.