Forum: Author Hangout

The 12 Days of Christmas - Your edit.

joyR 🚫
Updated:

So, this came up in conversation last night and I thought I'd post it here. The song is well known, the gifts received early vary.

BUT

If you could change one gift, what would it be..??

Rules

Only one gift per poster, but choose any day so you'll get from 1 to 12 copies of the gift.

Gift must be of a sexual or sensual nature, no 'world peace' or 'cure STI's' etc.

Gift can be for you OR for one of your characters, who must be named. (Story link is even better)

It's a little Christmas fun, but also story promoting, so, who's first?

Replies: BalRog

richardshagrin 🚫

The 12 Days of Christmas

On the ninth day of Christmas

Nude ladies dancing

Replies: Zellus Dominions Son

Zellus 🚫

@richardshagrin

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jDfD1St1e3w

Dominions Son 🚫

@richardshagrin

4th day of Christmas: Four call girls.

Replies: awnlee jawking

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Dominions Son

4th day of Christmas: Four call girls.

Must be an open relationship for your true love to give you four call girls.

AJ

red61544 🚫

First, I'd eliminate the "10 Lords a' Leaping" because I don't swing that way. I'd replace them with "10 Great Authors Writing". Ten great writers could keep me entertained all year. Besides, like an STD, great writers are the gift that keeps on giving!

Replies: awnlee jawking

awnlee jawking 🚫

@red61544

Besides, like an STD, great writers are the gift that keeps on giving!

Makes me glad to be such a mediocre writer. I'd hate to think an ungrateful reader could banish me with antibiotics ;)

AJ

Replies: Dominions Son red61544

Dominions Son 🚫

@awnlee jawking

banish me with antibiotics

Antibiotics only work on bacterial infections. They don't work on viruses (and I think the majority of STDs are viral), or on parasites (crabs).

Replies: Baltimore Rogers

Baltimore Rogers 🚫
Updated:

@Dominions Son

@awnlee jawking

banish me with antibiotics

Antibiotics only work on bacterial infections. They don't work on viruses (and I think the majority of STDs are viral), or on parasites (crabs).

Syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are bacterial. HIV and herpes are viral. Yeast infections are fungal. Crabs are undersea crustaceans that taste great steamed with Old Bay seasoning. SOL writers are mammals for the most part.

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@Baltimore Rogers

Crabs are undersea crustaceans that taste great

Crabs is also a slang term for pubic lice.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/pubic-lice

Replies: Baltimore Rogers

Baltimore Rogers 🚫

@Dominions Son

Crabs is also a slang term for pubic lice.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/pubic-lice

You don't say!

red61544 🚫
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

an ungrateful reader could banish me with antibiotics ;)

Awnlee, this is the time of year for antibiotics. Penicillin answers the question, "What do you give the man who has everything?"

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@red61544

"What do you give the man who has everything?"

Storage Space. :)

BalRog 🚫

@joyR

I suppose I might enjoy "Three French Birds". More than that might be ... tiring.

Replies: Vincent Berg

Vincent Berg 🚫

@BalRog

I suppose I might enjoy "Three French Birds". More than that might be ... tiring.

Maybe "Three French Biddies"

"One President Tweeting" (at 2 a.m.)

"Two turtle doves (pecking at me nuts) and a partridge in a pear tree (pooping on me head)."

"Three french chicks"

"Four sexting teens"

"Five golden (cock) rings"

"Six geese a laying" (nuff said)

"Seven swans alosing their suits"

"Eight maid a-squirting"

"Nine ladies pole-dancing"

"Ten gay bears a-leaping" (shivers at the thought of the sight)

"Eleven pipers piping their skin-flutes"

"and twelve drummers — never mind!"

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Forum: Author Hangout

The 12 Days of Christmas - Your edit.

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