From our local police blotter:
"At 2024 hours, an officer reports the arrest of a 39 year old female who entered the business and stole alcohol. He was cited and released."
Edit to add: We live in a full-service community. The perp cites the officer and releases him, apparently.
bb
I only use amateur nouns. :)
I suspect some of our local cops do as well.
EDITED to add: Speaking as one who is paid reasonably well writing for those who would rather not. IT folks are at the top of that list and cops probably aren't far behind, to judge by the police reports I've read.
bb
I suspect some of our local cops do as well.
That whooshing sound you hear is the joke going over your head.
That whooshing sound you hear is the joke going over your head.
Oh, really? Look up. I think you'll see my response flying over your head.
A good joke deserves a little extension.
bb
I only use amateur nouns. :)
semi-pro nouns give you more bang for your buck, because they cost a lot less for a similar level of performance which his better than the amateurs.
He was cited and released.
The arresting officer received a commendation then was made redundant? ;)
AJ
Apparently you're expecting us to assume that the cop is a "he" ... it seems there's no joke here on any level. Or is there some hidden LGBT agenda whistling in the wings here...
Apparently you're expecting us to assume that the cop is a "he" ... it seems there's no joke here on any level. Or is there some hidden LGBT agenda whistling in the wings here...
I'm pretty sure we could work one up, but the joke is that the cop arrested a "39 year old female" [sic, but we won't get into the lack of hyphenation here], but "He was cited and released."
We don't know and don't need to know the gender of the officer, EDITED TO ADD: although if the arrested one is female and "he" was cited and released, the officer is probably male.
Unless, of course, the perp was transgender and the officer refused to recognize this, being from North Carolina and all ...
The joke just gets better and better (or perhaps deader and deader, I guess).
(BTW, you forgot the Q a the end of LGBT)
bb
Apparently you're expecting us to assume that the cop is a "he" ... it seems there's no joke here on any level.
No, there was no joke in the original post.
Just an example of very poor writing.
The joke just gets better and better (or perhaps deader and deader, I guess)
(* Addressing this to Grant was a mistake *)
BB: You're trying to explain a joke to (presumably) Americans. THAT is a joke that just gets deader and deader. (* Smiley omitted on the grounds an Aussie won't need one *)
BB: You're trying to explain a joke to (presumably) Americans. THAT is a joke that just gets deader and deader. (* Smiley omitted on the grounds an Aussie won't need one *)
I am, God help me, American, despite my pen name and time spent swimming at Bondi Beach, so you'd think I'd know better than to try to explain a joke.
Eppure si muove, as they say in France,* and I still think the goddam thing was funny. But then, there's no accounting for taste. Or humor.
*Easy, boys and girls. That's another joke.
bb
I am, God help me, American, despite my pen name and time spent swimming at Bondi Beach, so you'd think I'd know better than to try to explain a joke.
Just as how not everyone who writes about sluts is one, or everyone who writes about conservatives is one, not everyone who places stories in Australia (or the U.S.A.) is from there.
Wait a couple months, and either way the election turns out, we may have a few more ex-pat authors writing about new exotic locales.
I am, God help me, American ... and I still think the goddam thing was funny
(* This was meant as a reply to BB, not to CW *)
With that evidence, I will stop assuming all Americans have no sense of humor :-)
EDIT TO ADD. Perhaps "no sense of humour" would be correct - to clarify the type of funny things they often don't get.
(* This was meant as a reply to BB, not to CW *)
That was understood, Ross. But, as always, I was adding my two cents on a slightly off-topic aspect of your point.
Just as how not everyone who writes about sluts is one, or everyone who writes about conservatives is one, not everyone who places stories in Australia (or the U.S.A.) is from there.
Wait a couple months, and either way the election turns out, we may have a few more ex-pat authors writing about new exotic locales.
Despite my pen name, I've only set one series of stories in Oz: Swimming with Kate, and other than Bondi Beach and Bondi Baths, there's no specific identifiable Australian location in the story. (Yeah, they've got a beach cottage somewhere up the coast from Sydney, but it could be anywhere from Coffs Harbour to the Queensland border.)
Come to think of it, there's nothing particularly Australian about the way they speak, either. Not even a G'day or two. Or, to quote the late great Robert G. Barrett: "a really grouse feed." Oh, well. I'll have to work on my exotic locations and dialogue.
The presenter at a writing seminar I attended last week said writing about religion isn't the no-go area it used to be in fiction. Politics, however, is a third rail. Stay away, he said.
bb
Despite my pen name, I've only set one series of stories in Oz: Swimming with Kate, and other than Bondi Beach and Bondi Baths, there's no specific identifiable Australian location in the story.
There are several good stories on SOL set in Australia, but the ones that come to mind immediately are the "Harper Valley" short stories by Peter Pan AKA Noel Bailey on ASSTR.
Surprisingly, considering the underage sex and incest, the collection is for sale on Lulu as well---http://www.lulu.com/content/402381 for the second of two volumes, but you'll have to scratch around for the first one since it doesn't seem to be indexed.
The locations aren't described in detail, but the characters sound like Australians. As for the content, I suspect the Lulu censors haven't realized what they're selling.
bb
There are several good stories on SOL set in Australia, but the ones that come to mind immediately are the "Harper Valley" short stories by Peter Pan AKA Noel Bailey on ASSTR.
2 excellent stories set in Australia by the same Author, Oz Ozzie. Lost and Australian Story.
Another very good (to me) Australian based story, by Anthony Concept- Roadhouse.
2 excellent stories set in Australia by the same Author, Oz Ozzie. Lost and Australian Story.
Another very good (to me) Australian based story, by Anthony Concept- Roadhouse.
Great leads. Thanks.
bb
I would second the Anthony Concept suggestion, and include some of his others. The River Rat and River Rat 2 are both a good read and distinctly Australian, but don't neglect others.
It is also worth looking at mthommotoo as an author. Variable, but usually good.
Oh, well. I'll have to work on my exotic locations and dialogue.
Or just pick a non-specific pseudonym: like "Storyteller Bob", that's not tied to a specific story/incident.
It's like me calling myself "Crumbly Writer", without anyone having heard how I came up with the name, and what it implies. There are only so many ways you can reintroduce yourself to the same audience.
The presenter at a writing seminar I attended last week said writing about religion isn't the no-go area it used to be in fiction. Politics, however, is a third rail. Stay away, he said.
Nowadays, people aren't as pedantic and strict about their interpretations of religious thought, though if you challenge someone's politics, you're suddenly the devil incarnate!
Oh, well. I'll have to work on my exotic locations and dialogue.
Or just pick a non-specific pseudonym: like "Storyteller Bob", that's not tied to a specific story/incident.
It's like me calling myself "Crumbly Writer", without anyone having heard how I came up with the name, and what it implies. There are only so many ways you can reintroduce yourself to the same audience.
The presenter at a writing seminar I attended last week said writing about religion isn't the no-go area it used to be in fiction. Politics, however, is a third rail. Stay away, he said.
Nowadays, people aren't as pedantic and strict about their interpretations of religious thought, though if you challenge someone's politics, you're suddenly the devil incarnate!
The joke just gets better and better (or perhaps deader and deader, I guess)
BB: You're trying to explain a joke to (presumably) Americans. THAT is a joke that just gets deader and deader. (* Smiley omitted on the grounds an Aussie won't need one *)
I have no idea why you addressed that quote & reply to me.
I suggest you check closely just what it is you're clicking on, otherwise just use the Reply to Topic button to avoid attributing things to people that didn't say them.
I suggest you check closely just what it is you're clicking on, otherwise just use the Reply to Topic button to avoid attributing things to people that didn't say them.
It's not uncommon. You either click "Reply", instead of paging to the bottom of the discussion, or you click "reply" to the wrong point and you point gets lost. Then again, often you click on a reply after being away several days and don't select the text you're responding to, and no one has any clue what you're talking about. :(
