After extensive reader feedback and a long period of personal reflection, I've decided to take The Defenceman: Parallel Ice in a bold new direction.
The original vision — a character-driven story about a young man navigating college hockey, corporate espionage, and the complicated loyalties of the people around him — was, in hindsight, too restrained. Too many feelings. Not enough elbows. What readers actually want is more blood, more hits, and significantly more toy cars on the ice.
Effective today, Parallel Ice has been re-designated as the Slap Shot Edition. Key changes include:
Michael Stewart now wears glasses. Large ones. They will be broken in every chapter and replaced without explanation. His Diet Coke habit has been upgraded to beer. Several beers. Before games.
All defensive positioning has been replaced with brawling. Michael's gap control, his plus/minus, his quiet reads of the neutral zone — gone. Fourteen chapters of careful character development? Also gone. He now solves every on-ice problem by dropping the gloves. Reilly has joined him. So has Noley. Especially Noley. Noley has been waiting for this his entire fictional life.
Willow, Asuka, Molly, and Elizabeth have been reimagined as an elite action squad. Their wardrobe budgets have tripled. Willow is carrying her guitar like a battle axe and frankly looks like she knows how to use it. Asuka now carries her katana openly because subtlety was holding her back. Molly's hair has its own stunt coordinator and a separate trailer. Elizabeth remains the most dangerous person in any room she enters, only now she's not pretending otherwise. The four of them standing behind Michael on the new cover is not a creative choice. It is a warning.
The AEGIS artificial intelligence subplot has been streamlined. AEGIS now exclusively tracks penalty minutes. It is thriving.
The Ford family antagonist thread has been simplified. Charles Ford is now defeated in every chapter by a clean bodycheck. Harold Whitcombe saw what was coming and declined to appear.
Coach Gallant's systems have been reduced to a single play: dump it in and go hit somebody. Practices are shorter. Everyone is happier.
Josh Hayes remains unchanged. Goalies are already unhinged. You cannot parody what is already perfect.
I want to thank Cold Creek for the original Defenceman universe, which made all of this possible, and for not yet seeing what I've done with it today. I'm sure he'll take it well.
The Slap Shot Edition Cover is live now. The story page has been updated to reflect the new creative direction. You should probably go look.
Old-time hockey. Happy April Fools' Day, you beauties.
— Cold Creek Tribute Writer