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Chapter 2: In Which Lawrence Meets His Guru (and He Has Fur)

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In Chapter 1, our hero Lawrence returns home full of self pity after yet another disastrous date.

In Chapter 2, things get stranger. A lot stranger.

Lawrence wakes to find his life in the same shape as his carpet — worn down by routine, mapped with regret, and faintly sticky in places. The apartment itself is practically a crime scene—hope delinquent on rent, basil deceased, pizza boxes forming geological layers. Into this lair of entropy steps a cat with better grooming habits and worse diplomacy. Ambassador Whiskers, equal parts therapist and tyrant, arrives with a mission: to save Lawrence from himself through an improbable syllabus of four lessons—humiliation, risk, surrender, and connection.

This chapter is where their arrangement begins. There’s broom-fencing, philosophical debate, and a good deal of one-sided wit. Whiskers quotes Lawrence's favorite incel forums the way professors quote scripture, dismantling each line with feline precision until Lawrence, cornered by reason and a tail, reluctantly agrees to the first assignment.

No sex yet — unless you count ego death as foreplay — but Curriculum of Desire isn’t shy about getting there. This is the beginning of the transformation, where embarrassment becomes initiation, and laughter starts sounding suspiciously like healing.

As always, I’d love to hear what you think.
Drop a comment, tell me your favorite line, or just admit which part made you laugh.

— Eric Ross

P.S. Ambassador Whiskers considers comments a form of tribute. He also considers silence an act of cowardice. Choose wisely.

 

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