A chapter in 'Fairly CAPable' made someone physically ill because it reminded them of their own rape experiences. I didn't consider Chapter 22 'rape' because, while unwilling, the concubines in Swarm stories are slaves ... but, thinking it through, you can definitely rape slaves so...
I NEVER wanted to be 'that guy'. I never wanted to write something that made someone physically ill. The e-mail has been weighing on my since I read it. I got very little sleep last night.
I was of three minds late last night. Part of me just wanted to throw all of the rest of 'Fairly CAPable' up and let it be judged in whole instead of in pieces. In the full context, Chapter 22 becomes a part of the whole story.
Another part wanted to do away with Chapter 22 and just show the aftermath in Chapter 23. As I read it over, looking at it in a new light, Chapter 22 was gratuitous and unnecessary. I thought it would be visceral and induce a sense of disgust. I thought it was important to show the depths of Leo's soul. I thought wrong. I could have done similar work - without such disgust - by just showing the results of his actions and kept the torture off-screen.
The final part of my mind is the one I think I'm going to follow. Chapter 22 is out there and the internet remembers everything. No one is going to forget that I wrote it. Besides, I don't think I have it in me to get inside Leo's head again to re-write Chapter 23.
So, I'm going to take a hiatus - not from posting, the story is set to autopost for the next week or so and I'll stop in to make sure the whole thing gets out there. I'm going to take a hiatus from reading - possibly until the whole of the story is posted so it can stand or fall on it's own, complete merits.
If you write me e-mail, I promise to read and respond when I return. If you post comments to the story, I'll read those when I return.
I've always said I write for myself. That is true.
However, I enjoy the comments - even the negative ones so this is NOT an indictment of those who couldn't palate the story; I am thankful for every comment and e-mail I receive (even those that intimate I was born illegitimately as a piece of dung). They will all make me a better writer, something to which, even at my age, I aspire. So, I'm certainly not avoiding critique - I just need to step away from it for a few moments.
I really am not 'THAT' guy. Hurting others with my imagination is certainly not something I ever considered.