Specifically, clinical depression and an anxiety disorder. Both were formally diagnosed when I was 19, but I had been manifesting symptoms for 4-5 years prior.
For the past five weeks, I've been undergoing some tweaks to my antidepressant medication regimen. I am also in counseling and have been fortunate to be able to do video visits with my counselor - I'll use the pseudonym Ellen for her - while sheltering in place these past several weeks.
Ellen and I actually discussed "The Inches Between Us" during our most recent session. The overall theme of the session was "exhaustion." I'm not physically exhausted, per se, but very definitely emotionally exhausted. I can't find it in me to run. I can't find it in me to work on the story. I can barely find it in me to make dinner. I've also had multiple anxiety attacks lately, sometimes for reasons I can't even identify. And it is affecting my writing just as surely as it's affecting all the other areas of my life right now.
We in America like to think that we've become enlightened about mental health issues. The fact is, we really haven't. Are we better than we were? Exponentially so. But whereas denizens of right-wing radio would be hounded off the air for using the specter of breast cancer as a weapon against their detractors, it's still perfectly acceptable for them to say "liberalism is a mental disorder". And it's considered a joke that they are treating mental illness so casually. (The real joke is that they are using a nearly 30-year-old tagline and thinking they're being original, but I digress.)
Beyond that, the pharmacist still speaks in more hushed tones than usual when ringing up my prescription for Wellbutrin. American health insurance companies still treat mental-health benefits as a coverage "bonus" rather than as something that is medically necessary. And the only time our politicians even verbalize concern about the mental health of Americans, it's so that they can push their "reopen America" agenda. Otherwise, their only interest in mental illness seems to be whether it can be invoked as a scapegoat for the latest mass shooting.
To my brothers and sisters who are suffering with these issues right now, many in secret ... I stand with you. Hang in there, and don't give up.
To my readers ... hang in there with me. I'm hoping to drum up some energy to review jetson63's editorial-response e-mail, hopefully tomorrow.