Part one of The Loyalty Gene has gone through five rewrites. I've rewritten it to fit into act one of the usual three-act structure. Then I rewrote it to add more conflict. Next, I rewrote it to add more character development (Thank you, Steve.) Rewrite four was all about showing vs telling. Lastly, I fixed a butt-load of mistakes and tied things together.
I see that some readers are concerned about the dark nature of this story. It's about genetically engineered sex slaves and by definition, that's one heck of a dark subject. My goal is to take my readers on an emotional roller coaster ride. When the story's finished, I want every reader to say, "Wow!" Then I want them to get in line and do it again. If you do, you'll probably catch a few things you misunderstood on the first pass. I wrote a few things just for that reason.
If you need some reassurance, know that I dislike tragedies. While my wife loved the movie, Titanic, I hated the ending. Over the course of the story, there'll have been surprises, laughter, tears, and (I think) a satisfactory amount of closure.
Currently, I'm reworking the beginning of part two, it's already done, but I think it can be better.
Chapter two is in the queue. It's scheduled for release Tuesday evening.
Thanks for reading,
lichtyd