sam177: Blog

Hi Everyone.

Surprise! I'm still here. I know it's been a really long time. I'm sorry about that. Life the past few years has not been pleasant. I won't go into detail since I'd be pushing my own buttons and I am so tired of being upset. Suffice it to say there's been losses, poor health, lots of drama, and betrayals. The shadows of which are still smacking us around. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way either. The past year or so has been rough on everyone. Things haven't been completely bad. There has definitely been some bright spots and some very wonderful people along the way. I try to keep them in mind but sometimes it still feels like the bad is outweighing the good.

Since I'm tired of life smacking me, and I'm sure many of you are too, I am going to ask you all for something. No not money. Money's tight for everyone. Instead, I ask that, if you are religious in any way, please pray for a Christmas miracle for me and everyone who needs one. If not a Christmas miracle, a holiday miracle of your religion will be just as wonderful. If you're not religious, please think and hope good thoughts for who need them. I will be doing the same for all of you. I know we can help each other have a wonderful holiday season. I know miracles happen. They've happened already, and they will happen again. For all of us. I believe it. We just need to make it happen. And thank you all for doing so.

So please have a happy and safe Christmas, Season, Solstice, Hanukah or Whatever it is you celebrate, and like Bing Crosby sings in the song, "May your days be merry and bright".

Thanks everyone! :)

Hi Everyone!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Thank you to all those who've written me. It means a lot knowing you're all still interested in my stories. If you didn't get a reply, I'm sorry. Yahoo just isn't as easy to use as it used to be. I also might have just missed it for which I also apologize. I've been super busy this year. So much so that half the time I don't even know where I'm going to be sleeping at night.

Any way, yes I'm still around. Unfortunately I haven't gotten anything written. Work and family have taken up a lot of my time and neither have been going well. The biggest issue is that my Grandpa is in the hospital, again. This time I don't know if he'll come home and it scares me. I do not want to lose him! The thing is I don't know if what the doctors are doing will be enough without a miracle. I do believe in them and am hoping and praying for one. But I can't help being worried. I love him and don't want to be without him. So I'm hoping. He's surprised everyone before and I'm hoping and praying for another good surprise.

As far as my stories go, I haven't given up on them. I do revisit them in my head a lot. I'm hoping that when things settle down that I'll be able to find time and energy to move what's in my head onto the screen. I just need for things to be okay without the huge cloud of uncertainty hanging over me. That thing is heavy!

I'd better get going before I turn into a pumpkin or something. So that's it for now. I'll try not to be so long between updates. I would appreciate it you all could do something for me though. If you have the time, would you please say a prayer of healing and/or send up hopeful thought for my Grandpa? I'd really appreciate it, thanks. And may God please bless all of us and give us a much better year than the one we've just finished. Amen!

Hi Everyone!

I'm a head of things for a change. Yay! I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving.

If you've written and haven't received a reply back - And I know there are some. - I apologize. I do thank you all for your support and interest in my stories. I'm trying to get motivated and writing again. I hope you won't have to wait too much longer. I also hope Yahoo will stop making their emails so hard to use. I'll write back when I can find your email. If Yahoo lets me. :(

Anyway, I do thank you all and wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. In case you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I still hope you have a happy day. And a happy weekend for all! :)

Hi Everyone,

I hope you're all well and that you've all had a Happy Easter. Mine was good. I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog or stories in a while. I've wanted to but something always seems to come up and I never seem to have enough time. I also apologize if you've emailed me and I haven't replied. Between never having enough time and Yahoo's changing things for the worse I've had a difficult time emailing lately. Please forgive me and try again.

Now for the title of this blog.
It's been five years since I was last able to wish Jenny a happy birthday and in a couple days it'll be five years since I last heard from her and Paula. They're being gone still hurts. The pain isn't as sharp but it's still there. I still don't know what happened to them or even if they're still alive or not but sometimes I still feel them. Sometimes I know I've even gotten messages from them. Not in an email but I'll have a dream or see something and just know it's from them. It helps a lot. Although, an email from them would be nice. (Are you reading this, Jenny? Paula?)

What else is helped is the other wonderful friends I have. Some have gone, sadly, :( but fortunately others are still here and I'm glad they are. I feel very fortunate to have them. I'm also glad for all the emails from you asking about my stories. You're interest in them has helped too. Thank you.

In case you missed something, Jenny is the one who convinced me to start writing and then posting my stories. That's why her becoming ill and then her and Paula's sudden disappearance has been a double whammy for my writing. I miss them both terribly and I can't write and not think about them. I know they both want to me continue writing and would thump me for not keeping up. But I'd welcome a thumping from them if it meant seeing and hearing from them again.

It's also been a little over five years since I got a job which has grown. That's good in a way since the money helped but it does use up a lot of time and energy I'd rather spend writing.

Also since then we've had problems of all kinds come up. The worst being my Grandpa's health problems. He is doing a lot better but it was really scary for while. His arthritis hasn't gotten better though, so I've spent lots of time there helping him. Which I'm happy to do but I can't write there either.

Over all it means I've had less time to write and I do want to even though it's still painful for me. It even frustrates me that I haven't been able to. I miss my stories too. I want to read what happens and see my characters grow as much as you do, if not more. I just haven't gotten there. Yet.

I am going to finish my stories and write new ones. I can't say when or how fast but I do want to. I suppose wanting to is half the battle. I just need a cure for arthritis and a Tardis and I'll be all set.

Happy Easter everyone.

Hi Everyone,

Wowey! It hardly seems like it's been over a year since I updated you all. I'm sorry about that. And if you wrote and didn't receive a reply back, I am really sorry about that. Please forgive me.

The past year has had a bunch of ups and downs. I wouldn't mind the downs quite so much if I wasn't shoved down them. And do there have to be so many sharp pointy rocks on the way down?

Don't get me wrong. There have been a lot of good ups. Really good ones. But then the downs come again. Like today I found out a friend of mine wasn't doing too good and has stopped taking her meds. That doesn't sound good and I'm really not happy about that. And that's after losing two friends at work and still not hearing anything from my friends who disappeared three years ago. Now I'm looking at losing another friend. I hate that! It hurts too darn much! On the bright side she's surrounded by family that loves her, which I'm very happy about but I want her to stick around a while! At least a few dozen years and a score or two after I finish Columbus. But how do I write when my heart aches so much? Never mind reading the screen.

On the bright side I have been wanting to write more. I've also been watching more anime lately. I used to watch lots when I was writing before so I think that's a good thing. Like I'm getting back to normal. Only normal just went rolling down the hill again. Please bare with me as I roll down after it and start pushing it back up the hill again. Thanks. Hopefully the upside of this hill will be a gentle slope instead of a cliff face. Thanks.

And Jan, if you read this, you'd better stick around for the end of Columbus or I'm going to have to thump you. Got that Love?

Thanks, Everyone. I'm sorry for troubling you but I felt those who've been waiting for more deserved to know the reasons for the very long delay. You can return to your regularly scheduled programming now.