Paige Hawthorne: Blog

When I'm reading a pretty compelling book, I find myself having imaginary conversations with the writer. We discuss character quirks. Plot detours. Certain lines and phrases that are particularly felicitous.

I find myself rather erudite on a surprising number of topics. In fact, I'm sometimes so eloquent that certain authors, alive or dead, encourage me to pursue a writing career.

Some of my best conversational encounters have been with John D. MacDonald, Janet Evanovich, Michael Connelly (Lincoln Lawyer), Lawrence Block (the Hit Man series for some reason), Thomas Perry, P. G. Wodehouse (I speak in an English accent of course) and Donald Westlake (especially John Dortmunder).

How about you guys?

Paige

Apparently someone wrote a laudatory review praising my writing skills. Several readers (a couple of them gleefully) explained that this is the kiss of doom.

There seems to be a contingent of folks in here who react negatively to the positive. Readers, many of whom wouldn't have otherwise read my stories, celebrate their contrarian nature and low-score me.

The teeming masses - - go Teem go! - - become resentful of those who are praised.

Is this true? Or an urbane legend?

Not that I pay the slightest attention to reader scores.

Hmm … now that I consider the nature of this treachery … obviously the favorable review was penned by an envious author, jealous of my scores, and determined to undermine them.

No, that's paranoia at work.

A reasoned, meditative, investigation will surely reveal that it's not a single author who is sabotaging my efforts. It's obviously a consortium of many writers, banded together in common cause, who fear my literary efforts will outshine theirs.

Zounds!

Paige

P. S. This devilish ploy will not succeed. I am toiling away at "Winter's Voyage" despite the duplicity rampant in here.

First of all, thank you. For reading my stories, voting (more on that in a mo!), for sending me emails.

Now personally, I don't even notice my reader scores so I wouldn't have brought the subject up except that so many of you - - would hordes be an exaggeration? - - have referenced the twin culprits responsible for my low numbers.

Low, despite the near perfection of my prose. The dichotomy can be partially traced to editorial … um, fallibility.

Now Thorny - - thornfoote - - is, I am somewhat sure … well, not sure, but hopeful, a decent chap. But limited in his well-meaning way. If you catch my drift. He's not overly burdened with the rigor of sentience.

Of course it would be unfair, and inaccurate, to point the middle finger solely at Thorny. Reluctant as I've been to acknowledge the ever-louder whispers about SOL as an institution, the bribery-for-ballots issue on reader scores can no longer be kept from public scrutiny.

If the site authorities here decide to crack down on this whistleblower and this blog post should suddenly go blank you'll understa

My editor, thornfoote, in a rare moment of lucidity, came up with an idea for an additional slogan for the obscene tees worn by my character, Winter Jennings.

(The schtick is that a girlfriend gave Winter's son, Walker, a set of tees for his 10th birthday. 'My Mom Sucks Cock' and 'I Love My Clit' would be a couple of examples. Worn respectively by Walker and Winter.)

Thorny's contribution, obviously made shortly after he awakened and before uncapping the bottle, was 'I'm a Good Girl.' On the back, 'Good Girls Swallow.'

Your opportunity, limited to only those of you who can read and write, is to send me your suggestions for more Winter tees.

I'll be starting my third Winter story soon, take that as a threat or not, and I plan to incorporate the most creative obscenities, the ones I like anyway, into the narrative.

Those winning entries will not only be immortalized for a portion of eternity, but the winning entrants will be able to read all of my SOL Winter stories for free. And, yes, I'm making this up as I type, I'll feature the hallowed slogans in a blog. Which means that four or five more readers may see them.

Paige

When someone as talented as Annie Proulx shares her approach to writing, I (as Archy McNally does on occasion) snap my heels together, stand at attention, and salute smartly.

However, what works for one girl doesn't necessarily work for another. This newspaper article spells out her writing discipline:

Annie Proulx writes literary fiction brilliant enough to win major accolades (Pulitzer, National Book Award, etc.) and accessible enough to win a wide audience. She specializes in short stories, including "Brokeback Mountain," though her masterpiece may be the novel The Shipping News. She didn't begin writing until in her 50s and, as you'll see, she doesn't believe in rushing things.

5 Techniques for Good Craftsmanship

1 Proceed slowly and take care.
2 To ensure that you proceed slowly, write by hand.
3 Write slowly and by hand only about subjects that interest you.
4 Develop craftsmanship through years of wide reading.
5 Rewrite and edit until you achieve the most felicitous phrase/sentence/paragraph/page/story/chapter.

From an article in The Guardian.

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# 1, yes.
# 2, no.
# 3, yes, no, and yes.
# 4, absolutely yes.
# 5, yes, just wish it were that easy.

Paige