The most common question I have received about my story is why it doesn't include any mentions of my wife and our sex life.
The truth is that I have always mentally separated my wife from these actions, because I am truly deeply ashamed of what I am and my betrayal.
My sexual interactions with other men has increased my libido, and I do still love traditional sex with my wife. Occasionally my depression does cause me to lose interest, but I think that again is down to overwhelming shame and not wishing to put her at risk.
Sexual variety is a very exciting thing, particularly because I like to give control to others, and that has never been my relationship with my wife.
Part of the reason that I wrote this down and shared it, is an attempt to deal with my problem. An exorcism if you like of this negative compulsion, and it has worked to some extent.
Life is indeed a two sided coin.
The final part of the story of the last year or so of my life has just been posted.
It's been quite a personal journey, but I hope that is of interest to others.
Feel free to comment or message. I'll do my best to reply.
I have just posted the latest chapter in my Descent into Depravity, the one where I feel I totally tipped over. Hopefully it will arrive in the next few hours. After this there will probably be just a final chapter that will close my tale... Well as far as a true story can ever really be closed as I am still "living".
The chapters are relatively short as I did feel pulled around quite a bit when I was in the moment and events would be over quickly, although felt a long time afterwards. I felt that the short chunks best represented my rapidly changing thoughts.
I hope it has been a good ride for those who have been reading it.
I have added a content warning to the above story as although it all takes place between adults, events in the past are alluded to although not described.
Also I am aware that I may not have described the sex as detailed as it could have been. I am adapting this from a blog I kept at the time which was more about events and my feelings, rather than detailed descriptions of what happened, and I was trying to keep the truth of it all.
If anyone feels it is lacking then let me know and I'll try and expand certain sections.