aroslav: Blog

According to the dates I haven't updated you all in a long time (Aug 6). Apologies. I'll try to be brief and not overwhelm you with details.

1. Health. It got pretty bad. By August 17, I'd been in urgent care twice unable to breathe. I hadn't slept in days. I had doctor appointments slated the next week in Seattle but didn't dare drive while sleep deprived, so flew in. The short was that not only am I having some kind of apparent lung problem, my heart was in A-fib. The upshot was that after four doctor visits that week, I ended up with $700 a month in new medications and an appointment the second week of October for both Pulmonary Function Tests and Cardioversion. I received a message yesterday that I was slated instead for ablation--a different treatment for arrhythmia. Will be calling the doctor tomorrow to get clarification.

I have been slowly improving over the past four weeks, but still have days and/or nights of misery that have left me unable to focus and trying to catch my breath.

2. Writing. Much to my dismay, my writing has been cut to only a few thousand words a week. Just can't focus on the story. Nonetheless, I managed this morning to put the last words down on Double Team, Book 5 in "The Transmogrification of Jacob Hopkins." That's at chapter 237 for the series. There is probably more to this story that I will be convinced to write, but I don't need to worry about it for a few months. I'll do my best now in the next month to focus my writing time on Wayzgoose's Stocks & Blondes.

Here on SOL, Double Time (Book 2) enters its final part tomorrow with Chapter 86. I am ready to start posting Book 3, Double Tears, on November 5, starting with Chapter 99.

3. Personal life. I have a girlfriend. She joined me here at camp this week and it has been a delight. We live 2000 miles away from each other, so regular visits may be difficult, but we hope that as my health improves, we'll manage more time together. Perhaps I'll pull the trailer down nearer to her for the winter.

The funds I so carefully put away for the past year in order to travel around the world are steadily being dissipated with costs for medicine and doctors and procedures. I really need to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So, as soon as possible, I'll be writing another book.

I think that's everything for now. I'll try to update more regularly when I can breathe again.

"Espanoletas" by Gaspar Sanz can be heard at https://youtu.be/Lh6gf-vCGl0

"Devon Layne's Classical Guitar Playlist" is at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL54JVjPqRWsEWgQEsx5pi2k3dRqCM00At

Enjoy!

Today, chapter 70 of Double Time posted and much of the chapter is devoted to Jacob's work on his guitar. It is becoming more and more a part of him. When I selected the music Jacob mentions playing, I did a lot of research to make sure certain pieces could be played on the guitar and to listen to the music.

Ultimately, I created a number of playlists on YouTube. And I bookmarked "Espanoletas" by Gaspar Sanz which is what Jacob uses for his audition in today's chapter.

Since blog posts with urls in them are not presented on the index page of SOL, I've decided to create a separate post with the links in it to "Espanoletas" and to "Devon Layne's Classical Guitar Playlist." Periodically, I'll create another post with more music as that becomes more and more important in the story. If you want to be sure not to miss the posts with urls in them, be sure to follow my blog by making me a favorite author.

In the list, you will not only find a wide range of classical guitar music, you'll discover some of the all-time great guitarists like Segovia, Bream, Williams, and my current favorite guitarist, Tatyana Ryzhkova. Subscribe to her on YouTube. Support her on Patreon. You will not be disappointed.

In my regular post on Sundays, I'll also mention whether there is a new post with links. Hope you enjoy this listening treat.

Breathing has been important to me for several years now. Well, all my life, I guess. It's such a simple thing. Air goes into your lungs. Oxygen is extracted into the bloodstream. Blood circulates through your body to feed cells (like the brain). You exhale the waste product air. And it all happens automatically. It is an involuntary response.

Except when it isn't.

I'm learning to deal with COPD and occasional panic attacks when I think I can't get enough air. They are lessening, I think. But this post isn't about that. It's about meditation.

Back in the 70s and early 80s I participated in several meditation exercises and ultimately developed my own creative visualization meditation that I am trying to get back to. I called it 21 Breaths and it was/is focused on consciously breathing and letting that act release the mind and enter a healing state. It has gotten me through countless crises in my life. The toughest part is remembering to do it and let it work its magic.

And now, I've found that consciously controlling twenty-one consecutive breaths is a real challenge that I have yet to succeed in. I'm hoping that entering this meditative state will help me control my COPD, but also that it will return a contemplative state that I have lately been missing.

Now, that's the content for this blog. But, if you are interested in following the creative visualization of 21 Breaths, I've included it below.

Inhale as you imagine the scene in the step description. When it is firmly in your mind, exhale slowly.

Breath 1: You come to a park where a juggler is entertaining. The juggler has three red balls and you watch them as each rises into the air and falls back to the juggler's hand.

Breath 2: Beyond the juggler are two green trees. They grow from a joined root and you place a hand on each tree to feel it's life and how much it gives to the world in terms of oxygen and beauty.

Breath 3: You step between the trees and discover a rustic stair between their roots leading down. You place your right foot on the first step and determine to take the journey.

4-9: You consciously visualize each step in this rustic stair as you place your foot on it and descend into the darkness. Is it rough? Smooth? Creak? Have a scrap of carpet on it? Each step is different. Don't forget to switch feet! You started on the right foot. You will end on the right (seven total steps/breaths). Right, left, right, left, right, left, right.

10: You step out and off the bottom step onto a wooden deck. You can see here but there is no apparent source of light.

11: Before you is a door carved with mystical creatures of all description. But it has no apparent doorknob or handle. You place your left hand on the horn of the unicorn and your right on the wing of Pegasus and the door swings open.

12: You step through the entry into a pool room. The water in this pool is magical. You could breathe it. You approach the steps into the pool and grasp the handrail preparing to back into the water.

13-19: Like the steps between the trees, you visualize each step down into the water. Starting on your right foot, you go down seven steps until the water completely covers you. The water fills your mind and body.

20: Turning to float on your back, you see a string dangling. When you pull the string, light floods the pool and your mind. It illuminates the subject you are contemplating. Is it a problem in need of a solution? Poor health? A relationship? Whatever the problem or subject of your meditation, it has now been illuminated.

21: Surrounding you in the pool and in the air above it are tools. They may look like your normal toolbox but they all have unique properties. A wrench might be needed that tightens a loose knee joint. A spoon might measure the appropriate amount of sympathy for a friend. A pump might extract the phlegm from your lungs. Whatever your problem or issue, visualize a tool you can use to fix it or understand it. When you release this breath, let the tool do its work and accept the solution.

Relax in the pool as long as you wish. It is your sacred space and will always welcome you. Go there to heal.

There have been times over the past month when I wasn't really sure. Times when I'd wake up at night gasping for breath, my mouth so dry I had to pour water in it, and my lungs coughing up crap I didn't want to see. And it wasn't enough to have this happen at night. I'd be working away during the day and suddenly gasp as I realized I hadn't been breathing. Panic and hyperventilation set in as I tried to get lungs filled with air. /sad story

Went to a doctor Friday and she said there was no pneumonia, even though there was fluid in my lungs and a bronchial infection. Put me on good drugs, including an inhaler and I've now gotten two successful full nights of sleep. I'm thrilled and while it's not at a peak yet, my energy seems to be returning. And I only had to pay $350 for drugs! Medicare plan D would have cost three times that and I'd still have a co-pay.

So, I'm still working. Chapters of Double Team (Book 5 of The Transmogrification of Jacob Hopkins) are moving back and forth between my editors and me. It might have turned a little dark as I struggled to breathe, but it's beginning to return to the light. In case you are keeping track, I'm now working on Part XVIII, chapter 221. I think there are another ten chapters to go in the story, but I've been fooled before and my editors think there's another whole book to go. Sheesh!

In the next couple of weeks, I hope to get my book, The Volunteer, up on SOL (Wayzgoose). The big issue I'm having is how to divide it up into postable units since it was written as a single long (55,000-word) narrative-exactly the kind of thing SOL tells authors not to do.

The Volunteer is a journey inside the head of a chronically homeless man-in a less politically correct age we'd have called him a hobo. Gerald Good, known now only as G2, volunteered to trade places with a homeless man, believing he would quickly work his way back to prosperity. Ten years later… twenty… thirty… find G2 alone in his head and his boxcar.

A story without chapters, we follow whatever G2 thinks of as his present at the moment. In delving into his non-linear life, perhaps we can discover what separates the chronically homeless with nothing from 'normal' people who constantly collect and consume.

So, that was depressing. I think I need to write a good sex scene. Jacob and Rachel, here I come!