aroslav: Blog

It appears that I have made it to another milestone anniversary of making my first appearance on the stage of earth. My performance is at a slow spot in the script at the moment, but is still running. So traditionally, this would be the time when I pontificate on my sage wisdom, acquired through the trials of life and miraculously revealed on my birthday.

I'm counting down the days to my cardioversion, hoping to see the constant exhaustion, difficulty breathing, and coughing dissipate soon thereafter. I'll be headed to the Seattle area tomorrow to await the procedure under the watchful care of Q and M and J. Sometimes, you just have to admit that you need help and they have stepped up to embrace me, for which I am so thankful.

I'll be leaving Sun Meadow behind for the season, but don't know what I'll be doing after the procedure. I'm sure the doctors will have something to say about follow-up. If I'm feeling able to travel and live independently again, A. will fly up and we'll drive down there to spend the bulk of the winter. There are other options I might consider as well, including leaving the trailer stored for the winter here.

Yes, it is possible that I did not age past my expiration date and that angel has become a very important person in my life.

I was on a record writing pace until July this year, set to top 1 million words. It is still possible that I might make that mark, but it will depend on whether I really get my energy and focus back after the procedure. Currently, I can only write a couple hundred words without needing a nap. I've already had one in the midst of writing this blog post. Being unable to focus and be productive has been one of the worst parts of the past two months plus. I feel like I have left behind important tasks unfinished and don't even know where to find them.

The year had several notable events. I was in Arizona from October until the middle of April.

I even decorated for Christmas a little (strand of red lights) and Q came to visit and to have an adventure over Solstice. We went to the Cabeza Prieta Wilderness Area for a day of solitary exploration and scene gathering. We had a great time negotiating paths with the truck that were rugged.

In January, I released a new serial titled Double Take, Book 1 in "The Transmogrification of Jacob Hopkins." It was so successful in getting new patrons that revenue from patronage soon tripled what I make in royalties. Those people have been extremely loyal and supportive all year!

I managed a very pleasant trip north back to Sun Meadow for the summer and arrived the first of May. I've made a trip to the Seattle area every month all summer long-mostly for doctors. However, on June 23, I released Nathan Everett's Wild Woods (sequel to City Limits), Municipal Blondes (sequel to For Blood or Money), and Double Time (sequel to Double Take). A very successful event at the Chandler Reach Winery Tasting Room in Woodinville, WA. I hoped to release Stocks & Blondes this fall but that is another of the projects delayed. Perhaps by the end of the year.

The writing is complete on three more sequels, but production and release have once again been delayed significantly. Hopefully at least one will be out this fall.

I have a hopper full of new book ideas, but it seems to be jammed when it comes to letting it feed the pen.

May was also the time when it dawned on A. and me that our long-time friendship and writing companionship might actually lead to something else. We explored this through the time during the summer when we were each too sick to do anything about it, but in September, she visited me here at Sun Meadow and we discovered we are just as good face-to-face as we are online. And that has been the highpoint of my summer.

And through this year, what have I learned?

First and foremost, that I have many friends here at Sun Meadow who will go the extra mile to help me. The shortness of breath and A-fib came on me very suddenly this summer and I discovered there were three respiratory nurses in the community. A friend took me to the airport when I couldn't face driving across Washington to Seattle. Friends have looked after my trailer, brought me food, and driven me to the grocery store or pharmacy. At the lodge, I got soup and they made sure I had extra to heat up for quick meals. There has been no end to the support of my friends here at Sun Meadow and that is one of the main reasons I still call this home.

I learned that family is also strong. M, J, and Q have extended their home to me and watched over me during my various doctor appointments. I simply wouldn't be on the road to recovery without them. I've come to value good people. The world would be a better place if there were more good people.

And that brings me to my major lesson of the year. If something I say or do doesn't make me a better person, it doesn't make the world a better place.

It only took me seven decades to figure that out.

According to the dates I haven't updated you all in a long time (Aug 6). Apologies. I'll try to be brief and not overwhelm you with details.

1. Health. It got pretty bad. By August 17, I'd been in urgent care twice unable to breathe. I hadn't slept in days. I had doctor appointments slated the next week in Seattle but didn't dare drive while sleep deprived, so flew in. The short was that not only am I having some kind of apparent lung problem, my heart was in A-fib. The upshot was that after four doctor visits that week, I ended up with $700 a month in new medications and an appointment the second week of October for both Pulmonary Function Tests and Cardioversion. I received a message yesterday that I was slated instead for ablation--a different treatment for arrhythmia. Will be calling the doctor tomorrow to get clarification.

I have been slowly improving over the past four weeks, but still have days and/or nights of misery that have left me unable to focus and trying to catch my breath.

2. Writing. Much to my dismay, my writing has been cut to only a few thousand words a week. Just can't focus on the story. Nonetheless, I managed this morning to put the last words down on Double Team, Book 5 in "The Transmogrification of Jacob Hopkins." That's at chapter 237 for the series. There is probably more to this story that I will be convinced to write, but I don't need to worry about it for a few months. I'll do my best now in the next month to focus my writing time on Wayzgoose's Stocks & Blondes.

Here on SOL, Double Time (Book 2) enters its final part tomorrow with Chapter 86. I am ready to start posting Book 3, Double Tears, on November 5, starting with Chapter 99.

3. Personal life. I have a girlfriend. She joined me here at camp this week and it has been a delight. We live 2000 miles away from each other, so regular visits may be difficult, but we hope that as my health improves, we'll manage more time together. Perhaps I'll pull the trailer down nearer to her for the winter.

The funds I so carefully put away for the past year in order to travel around the world are steadily being dissipated with costs for medicine and doctors and procedures. I really need to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So, as soon as possible, I'll be writing another book.

I think that's everything for now. I'll try to update more regularly when I can breathe again.

"Espanoletas" by Gaspar Sanz can be heard at https://youtu.be/Lh6gf-vCGl0

"Devon Layne's Classical Guitar Playlist" is at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL54JVjPqRWsEWgQEsx5pi2k3dRqCM00At

Enjoy!

Today, chapter 70 of Double Time posted and much of the chapter is devoted to Jacob's work on his guitar. It is becoming more and more a part of him. When I selected the music Jacob mentions playing, I did a lot of research to make sure certain pieces could be played on the guitar and to listen to the music.

Ultimately, I created a number of playlists on YouTube. And I bookmarked "Espanoletas" by Gaspar Sanz which is what Jacob uses for his audition in today's chapter.

Since blog posts with urls in them are not presented on the index page of SOL, I've decided to create a separate post with the links in it to "Espanoletas" and to "Devon Layne's Classical Guitar Playlist." Periodically, I'll create another post with more music as that becomes more and more important in the story. If you want to be sure not to miss the posts with urls in them, be sure to follow my blog by making me a favorite author.

In the list, you will not only find a wide range of classical guitar music, you'll discover some of the all-time great guitarists like Segovia, Bream, Williams, and my current favorite guitarist, Tatyana Ryzhkova. Subscribe to her on YouTube. Support her on Patreon. You will not be disappointed.

In my regular post on Sundays, I'll also mention whether there is a new post with links. Hope you enjoy this listening treat.

Breathing has been important to me for several years now. Well, all my life, I guess. It's such a simple thing. Air goes into your lungs. Oxygen is extracted into the bloodstream. Blood circulates through your body to feed cells (like the brain). You exhale the waste product air. And it all happens automatically. It is an involuntary response.

Except when it isn't.

I'm learning to deal with COPD and occasional panic attacks when I think I can't get enough air. They are lessening, I think. But this post isn't about that. It's about meditation.

Back in the 70s and early 80s I participated in several meditation exercises and ultimately developed my own creative visualization meditation that I am trying to get back to. I called it 21 Breaths and it was/is focused on consciously breathing and letting that act release the mind and enter a healing state. It has gotten me through countless crises in my life. The toughest part is remembering to do it and let it work its magic.

And now, I've found that consciously controlling twenty-one consecutive breaths is a real challenge that I have yet to succeed in. I'm hoping that entering this meditative state will help me control my COPD, but also that it will return a contemplative state that I have lately been missing.

Now, that's the content for this blog. But, if you are interested in following the creative visualization of 21 Breaths, I've included it below.

Inhale as you imagine the scene in the step description. When it is firmly in your mind, exhale slowly.

Breath 1: You come to a park where a juggler is entertaining. The juggler has three red balls and you watch them as each rises into the air and falls back to the juggler's hand.

Breath 2: Beyond the juggler are two green trees. They grow from a joined root and you place a hand on each tree to feel it's life and how much it gives to the world in terms of oxygen and beauty.

Breath 3: You step between the trees and discover a rustic stair between their roots leading down. You place your right foot on the first step and determine to take the journey.

4-9: You consciously visualize each step in this rustic stair as you place your foot on it and descend into the darkness. Is it rough? Smooth? Creak? Have a scrap of carpet on it? Each step is different. Don't forget to switch feet! You started on the right foot. You will end on the right (seven total steps/breaths). Right, left, right, left, right, left, right.

10: You step out and off the bottom step onto a wooden deck. You can see here but there is no apparent source of light.

11: Before you is a door carved with mystical creatures of all description. But it has no apparent doorknob or handle. You place your left hand on the horn of the unicorn and your right on the wing of Pegasus and the door swings open.

12: You step through the entry into a pool room. The water in this pool is magical. You could breathe it. You approach the steps into the pool and grasp the handrail preparing to back into the water.

13-19: Like the steps between the trees, you visualize each step down into the water. Starting on your right foot, you go down seven steps until the water completely covers you. The water fills your mind and body.

20: Turning to float on your back, you see a string dangling. When you pull the string, light floods the pool and your mind. It illuminates the subject you are contemplating. Is it a problem in need of a solution? Poor health? A relationship? Whatever the problem or subject of your meditation, it has now been illuminated.

21: Surrounding you in the pool and in the air above it are tools. They may look like your normal toolbox but they all have unique properties. A wrench might be needed that tightens a loose knee joint. A spoon might measure the appropriate amount of sympathy for a friend. A pump might extract the phlegm from your lungs. Whatever your problem or issue, visualize a tool you can use to fix it or understand it. When you release this breath, let the tool do its work and accept the solution.

Relax in the pool as long as you wish. It is your sacred space and will always welcome you. Go there to heal.