My blog: http://glairing.weebly.com/
This post: http://glairing.weebly.com/1/post/2011/11/your-asshole.html
Hope you enjoy(ed) the story! I know I had a good time writing it. As always, let me know what you think! The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (grammar) are all welcome.
This one started out as that one line that opens the story and ended up being the name of the story. At the same part of my day, several times a week this one line popped into my head. No idea why, it just did. I had no idea it was the beginning of a story, but it was. A few weeks ago, more parts of this conversation would pop into my head. I finally had to write it down to make it stop.
I originally thought this would be a flash story. Short and sweet. So, I had an hour to write, sat down to do it, figured it would be done in 20 or 30 minutes, spend the next few quickly editing it and be done.
Yeah, we all know where this is headed. 2 hours later, I finished it. I did a word cont on it. 2000+ words. Guess it didn't want to be a flash story. Quick edit of it, and I was done with it.
I didn't have that line go through my head for an entire day!
Then a sequel popped into my head, and I think it will be the next little story I write. I don't think this one will be a flash story either and will probably be about the same length as the first.
The only struggle I had with this story was making sure the reader would know who was speaking when. The only part I had a problem knowing which was which was the end. The last 5 or 6 lines, really. And at that point, it really doesn't matter who saying those things to get the point across.
If you have problems with the story, let me know! Hopefully the next one can be better if you let me know where and/or how I went wrong.
Quick note: I started an external blog which will mostly mirror this blog. I did this for a bit easier commenting system. I'll post the link to the blog and the corresponding post at the beginning of each post here.
The blog: http://glairing.weebly.com/
This post: http://glairing.weebly.com/1/post/2011/11/taking-a-chance-feedback.html
Note from anonymous about 'Taking a Chance':
"Pacing is off for a short story. Chapters 1 to 3 read like the start of a,long story then wham, conclusion.
Left unsatisfied."
You know what, I agree 100% with the statement. I put in all the little details and tidbits that indicated a long story. Then chapter 4 shows up and there it ends.
My rebuttal to this was originally going to start something like, "Yeah, I wanted to write more chapters but..."
But, you know what? Some of my favorite short stories (admittedly by much better writers than I and most if not all of them certainly longer short stories than mine) are ones that left me with a feeling of: "I want to know more about this world/situation/person!" And some of them even ended as abruptly as 'Taking a Chance' did. The most notable examples are several of Stephen King's (did I really just compare my writings to his? Really? I must be insane) short stories that he has published.
There will probably be a sequel to this one, but it may be a while off. The way it is going in my head will require a lot more sex, but I'm not sure I want to write a mostly stroke story. So, it will take time to figure out how to do what I want to do without all the explicit sex. We'll see. If these people continue to play out in my head, I'll have to end up writing it, or write nothing at all.
This is the reason I wrote my next story, which is scheduled to be published Monday, I just couldn't make it stop playing in my head, and once I put it on (figurative) paper, it stopped. Information on that story needs to be saved for a new post closer to when (or shortly after) it is posted, though.
All that said, I still agree with Mr. Anon. I did do it wrong, or at least needed to drag it out a bit more to make ti feel right, even for a short story.
Live and learn.
Yeah! I fixed and am now happier with it. Like most authors, I'll never be completely happy with it and could tinker with it for years before I thought it was perfect. I am now letting it go.
I did fix a minor issue in Chapter 1, nothing important, just the phrasing of a name in one section.
I hope everyone enjoys the story.
Vote for it or even better, send me a note telling me what you think!
Sorry folks, but I had to take down the submission of the final chapter, 4, of Taking a Chance. I'm just not happy with it. I'll try my best to get it back by tomorrow, but I can't make any promises at this point.
I think I rushed through the ending and it just doesn't work right. I need to slow the pacing a bit and add in some more of Greg's POV and description. The actions of the characters don't match up with their personalities without a bit more explaining.
I actually couldn't go to sleep for quite a while thinking about their actions. I was finally able to go to sleep by telling myself I would take the chapter down first thing in the morning.
Sometimes I hate my brain.