Holly's Story: A Eulogy

by Bad Bishop

How does one write a eulogy for someone they've never met? If you are reading this, then you've probably read my three stories about Holly. My friendship began with Holly when she responded to a serial story I was writing called "The Seduction of Amy." Her first inquiries were about the direction of the story and possible story lines. I even used one of her ideas in the story. Those who know the story will remember the chapter when the preacher takes erotic photographs of Amy. That was Holly's idea. It happened to her. She confessed to me early on that her first time making love was at the age of thirteen, and that her lover was a thirty-four year old Green Beret. Intrigued, I asked for details, promising to write her story.

The fruit of those mutual labors was "Holly's Story." I felt as though I served as her amanuensis, her quill, if you will. It was always her story.

I was moved to tears, both as I read her story in her words, and as I wrote my account of it. I found that many of my readers were moved as well. Some responded with great passion. While we were composing the story, Holly confided in me that she was a survivor of cancer. Indeed, the disease had left debilitating scars. She had to undergo a radical mastectomy of both breasts. She also lost her lymph nodes, and perhaps most traumatic, her larynx, leaving her without the ability to speak. She told me her greatest regret was that she would not be able to sing lullabies to her future grandchildren. Holly was smitten with this dread disease while in her early forties.

Yet, Holly was a fighter. She loved life and sought to live it to the fullest. The disease had so racked her body; she was in some measure living life vicariously through the stories she read. "The Seduction of Amy" was one such story. She still felt those sexual urges that make one feel alive; but when she looked at her body, she no longer felt desirable. In a way she retreated into her memories of the discovery of her sensuality in her youth. My serving as her quill, enabled her to relive those moments, and share them anonymously with others.

Before posting the story on Storiesonline, I sent it to her for her approval.

This is a part of her response on March 3, 2005, "Wow! It was so close to the real thing. It brought back quite a few memories. I remember the light in the room was the light of a full moon streaming through a basement window. To this day the full moon makes me wet."

Then the following day, March 4, I received this brief message from Holly, "Thank you for the fine story. It was wonderful, touching, and brought back some great memories of an experience that changed my life forever."

I posted the story that very day and immediately started receiving comments from many of you. Somehow the story touched you like it touched me. What you don't fully know is the drama that was taking place, while these three stories were being written. I want you to know how these things unfolded and maybe you can understand why my soul was so gripped by this woman.

What I didn't know at the time was that Holly had an appointment with the doctor the very day I posted her first story. It was on a Friday. I didn't hear from Holly over the weekend. That weekend I spent much time writing parts two and three of her story, first from the perspective of her Green Beret, and then from the perspective of her mother. While I was writing those stories, she was struggling within herself over the news she'd received from the doctor.

On Monday morning, March 7, I posted "Holly's Story 2." Later that day I received this message from Holly, "I went to the doctor Friday. They found some spots they need to look at this week. My cancer might be back again. Wish me luck. You might not hear from me for a while. Just know that I still appreciate you writing my story."

I was devastated by this news, but encouraged by Holly's spirit. My words of encouragement to her that day will remain with me.

On Tuesday, March 8, I posted "Holly's Story 3." At that time I knew of Holly's recent doctor visit, but I didn't know the results. My emotions were greatly stirred as I wrote the epilogue to that story. Those who have read it will recall these words, "Holly, my friend, don't give up... not yet. As I write this I must tell my readers that Holly wrote to me yesterday. The doctors have found some new spots. Her cancer may have returned. Please pray for her."

That very day I wrote these words to Holly, "I've posted parts 2 and 3 now to the site. You wouldn't believe some of the response I've gotten. People have been moved to tears by your story. One retired military man told me that he would like to meet you, just to thank you for your sacrifice. I am praying for you and asked the readers to do the same. Write again when you are able."

I was excited by the response I'd gotten to the three stories about Holly, but I was worried about Holly and what the doctors might find. On Wednesday, March 9 I received this message from Holly, "The cancer is back. They found a spot on my brain and one on ...