Chapter 3

Merry was up first and had coffee made when I came out from drying my hair. I could tell by the way she fidgeted that something was bothering her.

“Good morning Mare. You know your face has so many tells; so just get to the point. I know something is bothering you.” I said to her as I touched her hand affectionately; she had become my dearest friend.

“Artie is getting his own place and has asked me to move in with him.” She said demurely, as if afraid of my reaction.

“Why so glum? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?”

“Well, ... yes, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well Jeepers Merriam! No, I don’t want to lose you as my roommate, but we’ll always be friends. This is your life forever with the man you love!” I told her.

“I know, but as happy as I thought I might be, there are lots of things I’m wary of, afraid of.”

“Getting cold feet about marriage?”

Merriam looked away and then back at me with wet eyes.

“I never expected hearts and flowers, ... well, I did, but you and Terry woke me up to a LOT about happiness and satisfaction. Intimacy, is what I want to say. Marriage isn’t an old Rock Hudson and Doris Day movie, it’s giving yourself and expressing yourself, while being reciprocated to feel fulfilled and special. It’s talking frankly and openly about ANYTHING and exchanging thoughts and ideas, compromise and trust.”

“Isn’t Artie in on all of that? God, you’ve been together forever.” I wondered because I was under the impression she had been “all in” after her little awakening.

Merriam started to cry a bit but shook it off and stiffened her lips. “He doesn’t seem to be as all in as me when it comes to sex, and now as far as honesty. Jesus, he almost pushed me out of the shower when I tried to get in with him and once I got him used to that intimacy I went down on him in the shower knowing he could no longer use the excuse of not being clean. He actually began to get into it, moaning and groaning like I wanted him to. I really felt I was making him happy and then he began to push me away saying, “I’m going to cum”. I told him that I KNEW that and went right back for him. Then he was almost violent by the way he pushed me away.”

“He told me I didn’t want that stuff in my mouth. I told him “that stuff” was him, it was our love, it was the magic potion for making our babies. He bolted out of the shower saying it was disgusting.”

“I finished my shower and went into the room and found him on the bed sulking. I cuddled up to him and whispered as sexy as I knew about lovers tastes and sharing them with each other, wanting to touch each other everywhere, exploring each other and he sat up and said “some things should be private”. Stupidly, I figured that I did get his dick in my mouth and had him enjoy that and you know, ... baby steps?”

“So we had to get out of the Hotel room, clean things up and replace the towels and stuff, planning on going shopping. At the mall I worked him close to the jewelry stores and said we should pick out our rings. He was great with that until we decided on what we wanted and I asked him when I would get that ring so I could tell everyone; show everyone that we were engaged. He began to harp on the price, and said I was trying to trap him. I took off and went to one of the food kiosks and got a coffee and sat to cool off, I was so pissed. He came to me like a puppy dog apologizing, saying he wanted to surprise me for my birthday or Christmas. Well my birthday was just a few weeks ago and Christmas is almost 10 months away. So I just got up and went off. I was walking towards his car when I saw a bus pull up. I got on and rode it here.”

“Did he find you eventually?” I asked.

“No, he called me the next day as if nothing happened and asked about showing me the apartment he had picked out. I grit my teeth and said OK and he picked me up after work and took me to the place to look at it. I thought we would meet a realtor or SOMEONE, but he had a key and we went right in. When I asked about how he got the key, he said he already rented it and it was going to cost me $350 a month. I never had ANY input.”

Merriam took a few deep breaths and then looked at me with fire in her eyes. “I was furious, but held it all in saying, “Oh you’ve already signed up for our little love nest.” and I turned away to look at the beautiful view from the picture window, ... a view of an exit off the interstate and 3 way stop light. Suddenly I don’t know what came over me and said, “I think we should celebrate by starting to christen each room. I turned and kissed him shoving my tongue down his throat and putting my hand right over his cock. He seemed to be responding so I just stepped back and pulled up my skirt, turned and knelt on the floor, sticking my ass up in the air. I wasn’t wearing panties, it was a black skirt, and I wiggled my ass waiting for him to respond.”

He said, “You want me to make love to you here?”

“I want you to fuck me in every room. We’ll make love in a bed with a ring on my finger. Tonight we’re fucking.” I told him.

He responded fairly well at first, he knelt down and took it out, he was hard right away and began to get me pretty good, but he seemed to lose interest and asked me if this was how it was going to be. So I asked him what he meant and he told me, “I guess until you get a ring, you’re only going to do whore sex, like a dog.”

“So I was a snot and told him that if the whore sex was better than what we normally had, it would be just fine.” Merriam said blushing from embarrassment as she continued to speak with frankness than we hardly ever shared.

She got up and looked out the window to cry privately and I went to comfort her with a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

“What can I do? I love him and he seems to just push me away every time I want intimacy and to show him my feelings. We’ve opened up so much more with sex, yet he’s never the aggressor and always seems uncomfortable when it gets beyond vanilla.” She cried to me.

I thought for a minute before answering, pausing so long she broke the hug and drew her face back to give me a quizzical look, so I told her my thoughts.

“I told you that there was a lot more to a relationship than you imagined and that sex was a huge part, and now you’re finding out. But it’s supposed to be easy and HE’S supposed to be the one driving the sex car. Is it religion? It can’t be commitment, he asked you to move in. Does he have a small dick and think he’s inadequate? Do you know about old girlfriends?” I wondered aloud not being able to look her in the eye.

She dropped her arms from me before leaning her head on my shoulder looking away from me as if to think.

“It’s not religion, he’s only been to church with me and his parents don’t go at all. He says they’re agnostic. I’ve only seen 3 penis’s in person and his is pretty normal as far as I can see.” She said before she thought on my last question. “You don’t mean to think he might be gay? I know he’s had girlfriends before me. Geez, thanks for putting THAT idea in my head.” She said as she straightened up and took a step away in deep thought.

“Merriam, no matter HOW much you love him, don’t commit to moving in until you’re sure of him. I think he’s been pretty irrational for someone supposedly committed to you. You know how important sex is, how important openness is, and that revolves around the sex, and understand that someday sex won’t be as important, but will always be a part of your relationship. He has to be your best friend in the world, and you his. That can’t be if there are any doubts. Please don’t take my words as gospel, but I don’t think even a therapist would refute them.” I said and although she wasn’t looking at me, I know she took my words to heart.

After a long pause she turned and said, “Well I have to get ready for work, I’m running late already, but you should know, I’m “all in” on Artie and only he can screw it up. But I’m not moving in, paying him my share of the rent until I have a ring on my finger, a date set, and a more frank and open sex life. I’m happy here with you close by with the open ear that he hasn’t shown me yet. I may try some trial runs living with him, but I’m not “moving in” (using finger quotes) until I’m sure it’s the right thing to do for me.”

“Merriam, to hear you talk the way you do about him, and then to hear you say you’re all in, doesn’t seem to add up. Are you sure it’s just not the years invested that you want to save?”

“Hillary, I really do honestly love him, but I do want to kick his ass up and down the street in hopes of waking him up. He’s trying my patience with his little games and stuff and even if I DO leave him, call everything off and walk away, I will still love him in many ways. I don’t want to be his roommate; I want to be his fiancé and lover. I will stay here until I feel that way. (then she half chuckled saying) One of my roommates has eaten my pussy more than the other, and that’s you.”

I didn’t know what to totally think of all of Merry’s words that morning. I’ve never been so in love with anyone as to overlook such faults and shortcomings. There was ONE thing I didn’t want to tell her, and that was that Terry had been in town on Tuesday and came over “sniffing” around about Merry, crying (figuratively) that he was smitten by her. He had weighed her innocence, her quick taking to sex, and had thought that minus those things, he still wanted to be with her. He really was smitten with her person. He wasn’t so much smitten with her that he turned down the chance to satisfy the needs of my little honey pot though.

It was actually my third time with him, counting our lightly swapped threesome, but we just took care of each other’s needs, or as he calls it, his nut, without falling in love or making a commitment. I had just gone to brew some coffee for us and he came into the kitchen to continue the conversation. He complimented my ass in my yoga pants and how I moved as I prepared the pot. I simply said that the yoga pants hadn’t got me laid yet, and I had worn them to the office many times, albeit with a medical coat over the rear.

As I finished pouring the water I felt him behind be, his cock fitting in the furrow between my cheeks and his fingers at the sides, trying to pull them down. I said nothing and stepped back two steps and bent to the counter. It was a fast furious fuck after which we smiled to each other, he cleaned his cum from my ass and the floor and we continued our conversation, mostly about Merry.

He said he wouldn’t pursue her, or even try for a second “date”, but if I ever heard she was unhappy or never got that ring, he would be interested. At the time I thought all of that was remote. However I would never say anything to Merriam NOW, because she didn’t need that to weigh on her decision.

I didn’t see Merry for another 3 days. I knew she had been to our apartment a couple times to drop off dirty laundry and pick up clothes, leaving little notes that she was staying with Artie. Come Saturday morning I was just preparing my laundry, as Saturday Morning was “our day” at the buildings machines. I went to Merriams room to empty her hamper with mine when she came in the front door.

“Snooping in my room?” She said in faux suspicion.

“Yes, checking for tell-tale stains in your undies.” I chided back.

“Well, not to worry, there are none, for sure. I gave Artie an ultimatum last night and this morning, hoping it might bring him around and all it did was get what few things I had in his apartment packed up, like that would scare me. I think we’re through. The last thing he said to me was that I had turned into a “manipulating whore who wanted a free ride”. How’s that for parting words? I thought I might turn into a crying mess as I drove over here, but the more I think of my life without him, the more I like the thought of it.” She said, somewhat biting her lip, knowing the gravity of her words.

I hugged her to comfort her and reminded her not to say things in the heat of the moment she may regret later.

“Hill, I got to what I thought might eventually be my new home last night, “our” apartment. I was about an hour early so I went in and showered and fixed myself up and put on a new sexy teddy that HE had bought me. I lit some candles around and chilled a bottle of bubbly I took from my room here; I’d had it for a while. I saw him pull in the lot and I waited for him at the door. He came in and I went right up to him and he acted pleasantly surprised. I told him we would have each other for dinner and then order in if we were still hungry. He sort of nodded and let me lead him to the bathroom. I started to undress him but he resisted saying he could manage and he shooed me out. When he came out I was in bed with the champagne. He came to me and I told him I had been waiting to taste him all afternoon. Right away he started in with me about acting like a whore or slut. I kept my cool and told him I just loved him and wanted to make him happy.”

“He walked to the dresser and picked up an envelope and took a receipt out of it showing me he paid $710 dollars rent in advance, plus a $500 damage deposit. He just about shrieked at me that if I loved him I would pay him for MY half so he could eat this month. Needless to say we argued the rest of the night about the fact I had no say in the choosing of the apartment where we were supposed to start our married life, and speaking of that, I told him, until I had a ring on my finger I had no intention of moving in permanently. I reminded him I already had a roommate and didn’t want another one; I wanted a fiancé and husband.”

I was amazed and asked, “He said all of this with you in a teddy waiting to oral him? Incredible!”

“He stormed out of the room and went to the kitchen. I cried and waited for him to return, but then I heard the TV come on. I went out and tried to act like we could fix everything but he told me to get dressed and act like a grown woman. Gritting my teeth I DID go and get dressed and came out and told him we had a lot to discuss. He railed on and on about HIS apartment he got for US and how he couldn’t afford it alone. I told him I thought I should have a little say in it. He then proceeded to tell me MY name was on the lease with his, he had his mother sign my name.”

“You should have walked out then,...” I started to say, but she said, “Wait, it gets better. I went into the bedroom and steamed for a while and I guess I fell asleep, exhausted from arguing. As I slept I feel him get in bed behind me trying to put his arm around me. I wanted to cringe! But I decided to play along and he worked his way on top of me, mind you never saying a word, no “I’m sorry” or any kind of apology. He gets in me already hard and ruts for about a minute cumming in me. He did say “I love you” before he rolled off and went to sleep. I got up in the night and went to the kitchen to get something to eat, I NEVER had dinner. On the coffee table is a box for a porno movie, its empty and the movie is in the DVD player. The bastard watched a movie, came in all horned up and got his jollies off on me. We went around all this morning about the whole deal, the apartment, the cold shoulder, no ring and no date, and that’s when he presented me with a bag of things he collected that I had left over the last 8 or 10 days. He told me not to come back unless I had a check in my hand and a better attitude. From that moment a man that I truly loved, I began to hate. I’m sad to say that, but I don’t see how I can ever respect him, let alone trust him.”

“Be sure,” I told her holding my finger right to her face, “That you do NOT go back to him unless it’s on YOUR terms. He’s trying to manipulate you, control you and I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. You bent in every direction to appease him.”

“Not to worry. I tell you one thing, imagine if I never spent that weekend with Terry and got to know the score of how a man treats a woman, CAN treat a woman. I know you wanted the best for me that whole week and you really showed me the right path. I know I did things I never imagined, but my mind and my body never felt so revitalized. I’m ready to get on with my life without that son of a bitch. If he comes to his senses and comes begging to the door I will take great pleasure in slamming it in his face. Terry showed me that a lot of men would be happy to be with me.” She said happily.

I bit my tongue, not wanting to say anything about Terry asking about her and all, but I would after I really felt her relationship with Artie was over.

It was now mid to late April and I swear Merry hadn’t once mentioned Artie for the 6 or so weeks and he hadn’t, to the best of my knowledge, made any effort to get hold of her. She was busy with work, her firm had contracted for out of state workers compensation billing on top of her normal work, so she was working lots of hours, making loads of overtime but she was already starting to wear down about “having time to spend the good money I make”. Now, she and I rarely ever went out together. For the longest time she had a boyfriend, and I, more often than not, had plans for Friday or Saturday night with old friends or with what I guess you might call a fuck buddy. I wasn’t one to get picked up. I might get laid most every weekend, but haven’t been with more than 9 different guys, but who’s counting.

It was Wednesday when Merry came in from work and said they were shutting down their systems for an upgrade and maintenance and she was going to be off early Friday and didn’t have to log any time at home or in her office, why didn’t we go out?

I did have a date lined up for Friday with Clint, a guy I casually knew from college who had become a patient in our office, it was just a movie and maybe pizza. I had seen him a few times and would probably escalate to some heavy stuff, if not screwing, on this date. I had sort of decided that I wasn’t all that into him, but he did get great tickets for concerts or sports in the area. (we had been to Bob Seger and 5 Seconds of Summer in the past few months) He was supposed to get us tickets for The Black Keys for next month but if I had to screw him to be in on those, I guess I wouldn’t be that happy with myself. I could tell him I had a change of heart or my work didn’t like us dating patients. Back in college we never got as far as between the sheets, but we had tasted each other’s goodies. We hadn’t gotten that far yet this time around, but I’m sure he was hopeful.

So, I gave Clint the brush-off using the “work” excuse. He even tried to dangle the Black Keys tickets for me to sneak off one more time in spite of work, but I told him I couldn’t. It was no big loss, except for the concert.

When I got home from work on Friday Merry was already home, showered and dressed and on her second Moscow Mule. She wanted me to get ready and we would go to dinner and then out dancing. I just asked her to stop drinking before we went, I didn’t need to be holding her hair while she puked later. She laughed and told me not to worry; she was just getting the edge off her week.

We had a great dinner and the club she picked to go dancing, Thoroughbreds, was a pretty aggressive place with its share of players, I always thought it was a meat market of sorts, but had been there a few times. After a great dinner I wasn’t ready to dance, plus it was early. They had a DJ until 9, and then a band would play 2 one hour sets at 9 and 10:30. They were local, Dagger Brothers, but they had a hit record a few years ago. Once the band started Merry and I had a dance or two as well as a couple drinks. A few guys had asked each of us to dance and then offer to buy us drinks, but we turned them down, just having fun together. About 45 minutes into their 1st set we started dancing right in front of the band as the bass player kept making goo-goo eyes at Merriam with a smile that would get my panties off most nights. I leaned and whispered to her (whisper hell, I had to shout next to her ear) that the guy was on the make with her. She had no idea. Hard to believe a girl as good looking as she was so naïve and had never really been “out there”.

After the set we got back to our table really pooped out. There were extra drinks there and I had the waitress clear all of them, not knowing who put what in our drinks, if anything. She came back with 2 more Margaritas and said that they were on the bands tab. I knew then that at least one of the guys would stroll by the table and before I could make that point to Merry, two of them, the bass player and the drummer came by. They introduced themselves as Spark and Matt. Spark turned a chair around and sat hanging over the back and leaning into Merry. The other guy, Matt, was cute and struck up a conversation with me, seeming to be into me. Merry and Spark were having their own conversation that Matt and I were not privy too. As 10:30 began to get close Matt asked me if I wanted to go to a party after the 2nd set. I gave him a long look, full of suspicion and said “No, but if you want to come to OUR place, it would be fine. Just know, there are no guarantees.”