The Adventures of a Timetravel Watch
Chapter 10

Copyright© 2014 by Old Man with a Pen

The Adventures of a Time Travel Watch: 10.

School.

The watches were complicated. To David's everlasting shame, Gwen figured out her Audemars Piguet Lady Royal Oak Offshore Chronograph sooner than he figured out his Number five of five OMEGA Olympic Pocket Watch Limited Edition.

Seven said, "David, did you study?"

I started quoting chapter and verse.

She interrupted me, "What does press stem do?"

"Sends me and whoever I am touching back to whence I came?"

"Right," Seven agreed, "So, David. What kind of idiot would start out setting up the watch by pressing the stem?"

"Umh ... me?"

"If you had chosen a real watch ... never mind." She muttered something about a hundred and nine thousand dollars wasted. "God, a Timex would do." She started again. "Remember. You don't need to do anything fancy to go home. Right?"

"Yes, Ma'am"

"What does the right button do?"

"Allows me to choose the Latitude within minutes."

"Press right button to start. Press again to stop. If you don't press to stop it will keep going. Going around again is no big deal ... no matter how many times the hand goes around the dial ... there's only 360 degrees. Three o'clock on the bottom hand is 90 degrees. Six o'clock on the bottom dial is 180 degrees. Nine o'clock is 270 degrees. When you get to 17 degrees, press the right button to stop and set it."

Seven wiped the sweat off her brow.

"Left hand button. Press to start ... same deal but it's the top dial. Stop it at 62 degrees. Set it. What does the popup say?"

I read it, "Where do you wish to go in Nevis?"

Seven said, "Say Sea Bridge."

"Sea Bridge." I said, "There's another popup."

"What does the popup say?"

"When do you wish to go?"

"Say, Current time or Next Ferry docking. Next Ferry docking would be best."

"Next Ferry docking," I said. "There's another popup. Lift Stem Winder when ready."

Seven said, "Got any money?"

I patted my wallet. "Yes."

"Gwen, touch David's hand."

Seven put her hand on mine, "I'm going too. Nevis is a very friendly place."

"Ready?"

I lifted the stem winder. It's harder than one would think. It has a distinct SNAP when it's correctly pulled.

SNAP

Seven said, "God, I love the Islands. Smell the sea. And warm. Let's go rent a car."

We spent a week. It was a lovely honeymoon ... with a spare woman.

"Time to go ... you don't need to set the watch. Gwen, touch his hand. David ... press the winder. England is so cold."

She was wearing a sweater she hadn't been a second ago.

"I'll be off. If you press the winder again ... where will you go?"

"Oh God."

"Right ... the Queen."

"Gwen? You should do the Timing." She gave Gwen a knowing look and me a pitying one.

"I will," Gwen said. "It was fun. Bye."

"David, read the directions again."

"You didn't," I said.

"I can program a recorder without the directions."

"I know ... it pisses me off," I said. "What is worse ... you never forget. I can't remember how to take pictures with my phone."

"They change phones every time you figure out the old one."

"Is that what it is?" I grouched. "Why can't I keep my old phone?"

"They discontinue upgrades and it stops working," she explained. "Haven't you noticed the company needs to see your phone when you pay the bill?"

"Yeah," I agreed.

"You get a new phone when you pay."

"Oh."

"Haven't you noticed it costs more money to flush the toilet than it costs to cook the food that makes the turd?"

"No ... I just pay the bill." I said, "Why is that?"

"The government limited the utility company's ability to charge more for power used to cook food. The government never passed any laws limiting the cost of disposal."

"Is there a safer less regulated time we could go?" I said.

 
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