It was a sad reflection on my past history to admit I was never one to dwell on such pointless desires that involved either Hollywood actresses or super-models with waif-like figures. I was forever destined to be a sort of "bread and butter" man happy to hump horny waitresses who didn't have bad breath or disappointed divorcees with a fetish for finding Mister Goodbar.
I generally just stuck with an uninspired modus operand of engaging with a straight missionary position not wanting to confuse the consensually motivated females that managed to make it all the way to the prone position with me on top.
Sure, I liked to look at all those tempting Japanese erotic videos with panting school girls and wives duty-bound to give good "duty" to their unappreciative spouses. The deposit of cum in odd places from head to toe never failed to inspire me to greater effort in cornering a likely subject for consensual cleaving but I was quite satisfied to put it in the normal place after an appropriate length of time to bring the female along to join me in carnal bliss.
The only truly "kinky" episode that I could remember with a high degree of accuracy was the time my tight-assed girlfriend Veronica introduced me to her mother on a boring Friday night. Veronica and I had progressed into many sessions of happy oral activities usually involving her draining my pecker of every last drop of cum stored inside. I had ventured up her vaginal channel only twice and was surprised to discover she had been dredged by several adventurous explorers long before my maiden voyage.
My one attempt at anal entry was met with scorn and derision and I encountered a pucker hole that refused to budge being firmly guarded by a sphincter as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar. I do remember I had actually enjoyed it a great deal despite spilling all my seed in her crack and not inside her rectum.
The night that I met her mother was not very successful in terms of sexual satisfaction since all I had accomplished up to that point was to lodge my finger inside her hot little box for a brief few moments in the last row of the movie theater.
"My name is Harry West and I must tell you that you have a beautiful daughter."
I was surprised that Veronica's mother was such an attractive and fit mature woman with boobs that seemed to jut out like artillery shells in front of her. Her slender waist and heart-shaped bottom made her a vision sent from heaven to tempt even a Saint into a compromising position. I was certainly no saint and as soon as Veronica left the room to take a shower, I had her mom over the back of the sofa and opening up her quivering pucker hole to me just like a delivery from the "welcome wagon".
We were right at the homestretch and at a point of no return when the fresh and still wet Veronica came back in and caught us at like a pair of high school fuck-buddies. She sat down and pretended she was not upset but I could tell from the way she was using the brush on her hair that she was really pissed off. I think it was because she knew her mom was able to take it all the way up the Hershey Highway and she was well-guarded fortress back there.
I made a real point of kissing her and sucking her nipples and even going down on her to slurp up some of her goo from between her legs. She didn't seem the least bit bothered that her frowning mom was sitting right next to us and watching every move with studied interest. Veronica even started to moan and groan like she was in a frenzy of passion but I knew she was just putting it on to rub it into her mom's brain that she was getting something even better from me. Of course, I had to do the mother right after we were finished just to be equitable all around.
After Veronica and I broke up, her mom didn't want to have anything to do with me either because she was only interested in her daughter's current boyfriends. For several months, I just bounced from waitress to waitress almost exhausting the supply of convenient restaurants in the town.
I decided a change of scenery was in order and arranged to go on a 14 day cruise with "everything included". I was assured by the booking agent that this cruise was primarily for singles and if I didn't manage to hook up with one of the other paying guests that they would provide "full service" for nocturnal entertainment. That seemed like a great deal for the price and I signed on the dotted line.
The first week was uneventful and I was fortunate enough to spread my seeds amongst seven different female guests who were most appreciative of my efforts. The second week was a bit less successful and I was assigned three non-English speaking bed partners for copulation duties with unlimited access. I called them my mouth, pussy and ass girls because that was their areas of expertise and I enjoyed rotating them on a nightly basis with much satisfaction.
On the eleventh night, we ran into rough seas and the girls "on call" were mostly sick in their cabins. The entertainment guide, a rather plain girl called simply Jane told me that the only available "comfort station" was the Virtual Reality Holograms programmed to offer girls from an extensive menu of known movie actresses and magazine models. When I indicated some degree of reluctance to accept such a program, she graciously offered her personal services in any way I so desired. It was well-intentioned but in all honesty, the girl was rather plain and she had unfortunate hips that were crowned with a posterior of huge proportions and thighs that looked more like a lumberjack than a nubile female.
I accepted the offer of the Virtual Reality Hologram and after some degree of picking and choosing, I settled on a standard "Marilyn Monroe" version with the short skirt and no underwear. I knew that the Holograms were a big thing with the weed smoking crowd because the users swore the experience was more realistic than actual sex with a live partner. I was doubtful of that contention thinking that the addition of the mind-altering drug was more the trigger than the actual Hologram.
The entertainment guide Jane escorted me to one of the Virtual Reality Hologram compartments and she instructed me to shed all my clothes and cover my skin with the lubricant from the table in front of us. I was a bit embarrassed but she assured me that she had done this dozens of times with other customers and never had a single problem or complaint. Jane did my back for me and it was just like putting on the sunscreen before going onto the beach.
After that preparatory stage, things got a little more complicated and I remember falling down a long endless ever tightening spiral staircase. I figured out later it was probably the loss of my inhibitions and elimination of my fear of failing to perform in a satisfactory manner. I remember "Marilyn" starting me off with a very wet and sloppy session of oral sex and my lackluster repetition of the words "please don't stop!"