Chapter 2

Things got interesting in school after that, as you can imagine. I got a lot of teasing about the episode in the mall, and the girls were somehow worse than the boys. The cuter they were, the more they teased me. It's as if the word got out that I made a really hot girl, and the real beauty queens in our school couldn't stand that. The guys teased me too, although not Josh Stratton. He was the ultimate gentleman, not ever treating me with anything but respect.

I had to admit I found him cute. I could barely talk to him in school after what happened at the mall, and I was ready to die from embarrassment every time I saw him. He would wave to me in the hallway, and I would wave back, but I know I was blushing deep red, and I always went in the opposite direction so I could avoid him.

I managed to avoid talking to him for months, actually, and it was getting close to the time for senior prom. There was a girl named Carly Robson that I was friends with in art class, and she asked me to the prom. We were both sort of outcasts, different than the other kids, and I guess we were meant for each other. She was a beautiful girl who got a lot of attention from guys, although she didn't seem to care about them that much. She had long legs and a curvy shape, with red hair in a pixie cut and a cute button nose and topaz blue eyes. She was what you'd call earthy, outrageous even, and she loved coming up behind me and pinching my butt.

I tend to attract attention from girls like that, the ones with the over the top personalities. It's probably because my mother and her sisters are like that, and I'm comfortable around girls like that. The funny thing is, they all want to protect me and mother me somehow, probably because I'm so passive. They all tell me how cute I am, what a cute butt I have, and how they'd like to take me to bed with them.

And here's the funny thing, kids. Even though I attract a lot of attention from girls and guys, I am still a virgin. That's right, Joey the androgynous cutie has never had sex. I've had plenty of opportunities but I never pulled the trigger.

Why? How do I know? I told you in the beginning I'm a very confused kitten. I am too sensitive, or maybe I'm too indecisive, or maybe too moralistic, I don't know. I don't want to hurt anyone, and sex seems like a great way to hurt people. I mean, it's the most intimate act known to man, and it seems to me that when you open yourself to another person like that, you're really laying yourself bare. Kind of setting yourself up for a big heartbreak, you know? Hell, I know people want to fuck me, but will they love me in the morning? I guess that's where I'm coming from. Call me old-fashioned, but I want the flowers and the dinner and the candy and the promises of eternal love before I get down and dirty with someone.

The funny thing is, I never lack for opportunities. I get my ass grabbed by more girls than any Hollywood hunk, I'm betting. I do like to wear tight pants, and girls seem unable to resist giving my cheeks a pinch when they're around me.

Carly was like that. She was always calling me "Cute Cheeks" and grabbing my ass, sometimes in very inappropriate settings, like when I'd walk past her desk in Math class on my way to the whiteboard to do a problem. She didn't care who saw her, too -- which only made me blush more.

Anyway, prom was coming up, and Carly asked me first, so I said yes to her. There were a few other girls who asked, and I could tell they were disappointed when I said I couldn't go, which of course made me feel bad. I just hate disappointing anyone, which is why I'm a total slut about kissing. I have kissed girls for hours, and they all tell me I'm an amazing kisser, but I've had some angry scenes with them when I say I don't want to go further than that.

So, anyway, back to prom. I helped Carly pick out a dress, and we had a blast doing that. We had some fun with it, because we spent just as much time looking at dresses that Carly thought would look good on me as we did on the ones that would look good on her. Carly would get this mischievous look on her face and then hold up some sparkly gown that was tight in all the right places, and say, "Come on, Joey, you know you want to try this on. Just go back to the dressing room and put it on. I want to see you in it."

I would protest a bit, but I'm a sucker for a beautiful gown, and I always ended up going back to the dressing room, which sometimes caused a little consternation among the girls who were already back there. Not really the girls so much, but their mothers would always give me dirty looks, and once or twice they'd say, "What are you doing? This is dressing room is for women!" One of them even collared a saleslady and brought her back, expecting her to kick me out.

It didn't happen, though. Salespeople in dress shops know better than to get all upset about gender bender people like me these days. And with Carly ready to take them all on, they backed down. After all, they didn't want to lose Carly as a customer, and maybe they thought I was one too.

Anyway, I had a ball flouncing out of the dressing room in these girly gowns, and I'd mince around in front of Carly and the other customers, just milking it for all it was worth. Some of them looked at me like I was the devil himself, but others gave me admiring glances. In fact, one or two of the moms said, "Damn, I wish I looked that good when I was 18," and even gave me a wolf whistle or two.

I did this in a couple of dress shops and had my share of giggles, but then I guess I did it one time too many. Carly wanted to try one more shop, a little place called Annie's Gown Shoppe, and it's right in the middle of our town, on a busy street that gets a lot of traffic. It was ten days before prom and Carly should have picked out a gown by now, but we were having so much fun visiting these shops that she kept prolonging the process. "Just one more," she said, so I reluctantly agreed to go with her to Annie's.

Carly was in an especially mischievous mood that day, because not only did she get me to try on a gown -- a red spangled off the shoulder number that hugged my hips like a second skin -- she actually brought heels, a necklace and clip-on earrings for me, and she did a quick makeup job on my face that made me look glamourous. The owner of the shop, Annie, was clucking her mouth and whistling at me as I sashayed around the place, and even the girls trying on dresses were telling me I looked beautiful.

It was all going so well until I struck a pose in the middle of the showroom, with my hand on my hip, lips in a pout, and my eyes half shut in a sexy look, and I turned and saw, not ten feet away, Josh Stratton and a couple of his friends staring at me through the plate glass window from the street.

I could have swallowed my tongue, I was so embarrassed. I blushed crimson from the tips of my toes to my forehead, and I broke out in a sweat. The boys with Josh were laughing and pointing at me through the window, and by now every girl in the shop knew that I was being made fun of by the coolest jocks in our school.

Carly reacted vigorously, of course. "I'm gonna go out there and kick their asses," she said, and she started for the door. I latched on to her arm with a vise grip, though, because the last thing I wanted was for her to make this an even more embarrassing spectacle than it already was.

"Don't!" I said. "Don't do it."

"Why not?" she said. "Those idiots deserve to have someone punch them in the mouth for the way they're acting."

"No, please," I said. "You'll only make it worse. I need to get out of these clothes." I turned to make a quick exit to the dressing room before anyone else out there saw me, but before I could totter off in my heels, Annie grabbed my arm and said, "Not so fast, hon."

"Let me go," I shrieked. "I'm tired of being a laughingstock for those guys."

She smiled. "Not everyone is laughing."

"What are you talking about?" I said.

She pointed to the window. Although the other boys around him were laughing so hard their faces were turning red, Josh Stratton was looking at me with what could only be called -- wonder? Yes, wonder in his eyes.

It got me so rattled I started panting like a horse, and I yanked my arm back and made a beeline for the dressing room, where I slammed the door and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Carly was pounding on the door immediately, but I wouldn't come out, I was so embarrassed, flustered, and yes, hot about the whole situation.

I couldn't stay in there forever, of course, and I eventually took the gown off and got dressed in my own clothes and came out. By that time Josh and the boys had left, and things were returning to normal in the store. Carly found a gown she liked, and we were about to pay for it and make our exit when Annie, the owner, pulled me aside.

"Listen, it's none of my business," she said, "and I don't want to get involved in your gender issues, but I just want you to know that you shouldn't be embarrassed about what happened in front of that window. You make a beautiful girl, honey, and I know one thing: that boy who was looking at you thought the same thing. I've been on the receiving end of looks like that -- although, God knows, it was many years ago -- and I know exactly what it means. He likes you."

I thanked her for her words of encouragement, but the whole thing was still too weird for me to process, so I just got out of the store as fast as possible.

In the car going home Carly asked me what Annie said, and when I told her she got quiet for a few minutes.

"You did look good," she said, finally. "God, I must have a lot of confidence myself, because you look so good in a gown it could really make me jealous. Really, Joey, I don't know how you're not a girl. Are you sure you have a penis between your legs?"

"Let's not get personal," I said. "Trust me, I have one."

"Well, I can understand why Josh Stratton would be looking at you like that. You're hotter than 90 percent of the girls at school, and the other 10 percent should be worried. It makes me wonder, though, if I'm going to have to compete with Josh for your attention on prom night."

The thought gave me a thrill like a jolt of electricity in my body, and I felt a new twitching in between my legs.

Of course, Carly noticed it. She looked over at the bulge in my pants, and said, "Damn, Joey, are you thinking of Josh or me right now? Tell me the truth!"

"You, Carly," I said. "Of course it's you!"

But was it?

I guess I wasn't convincing enough, though, because Carly slammed on the brakes and stopped the car by the side of the road.

"Look at me!" she said, putting her hands on my face and turning it to her. She peered deeply into my eyes for a few seconds, and then said, "You're lying, Joey. You have that bulge in your pants because you're thinking of Josh Stratton. Come on, admit it!"

"I am not thinking of Josh Stratton," I said, but inside I knew that wasn't entirely true.

Carly shook her head. "I don't believe you."

"I'm telling the truth," I said. "The bulge in my pants is because I'm thinking of you. You know I've always had a thing for you."

"Oh, that might be true," she said. "But I think you're not really sure who you have the hots for, Joey." Then a light went off in her eyes. "And I think it's a shame to be so confused about your gender. You can't go around your whole life not knowing if you like boys or girls. But I'm gonna help you, Joey. I have an idea that will help you figure things out."