Chapter 36

As soon as I emerged from the darkness, just a few feet from the hot tub, I was met by a chorus of boos. I quickly took my spot between Nicky and Sue Ellen again, because I figured the longer I stayed standing the longer I would likely be the target of jokes. While settling back into the hot water, I asked, “What?”

Mindy said, “We’re booing because you left with the King, and you’ve come back without him.”

That was met with knowing nods from most all of the women, except for Nicky. She asked uncertainly, “Um, Mom, I know WHAT we’re referring to, embarrassingly enough, but what’s with this ‘King’ name? I’ve heard it a couple of times already, and I get the feeling everyone knows what it is but me.”

Mindy breezily replied, “You’ve missed out on a lot in the six months you’ve been gone. I don’t remember how it got started exactly, but somehow during that time, ‘King’ became the well-known nickname for ... well, I don’t want to get too graphic, so let’s just call it Dan’s third leg.” She smirked directly at me.

Cindy joked, “You know, the place where his blood rushes to all the time, which explains why he’s so often unable to think.”

Nicky rolled her eyes. “I get the picture. I should have figured.” Despite that, she remained surprisingly comfortable with me. No sooner did I get back in the water than she put her arm around my back again.

I was okay with that, just so long as it didn’t go any further than that. My heart couldn’t stand another one of her topless hugs! I tried not to focus on the fact that a very large, round tit was practically enveloping part of my upper arm.

Ruby impishly commented, “We all give him a hard time about that name, since he seems to be having a HARD TIME most of the time already, if you know what I mean.”

Michelle chimed in, “I get a particular kick about the Elvis connection, since he was the King too. When we see Daddy getting ... well, let’s just say that when we see him being his usual horny self, we shout out things like, ‘It’s a hunka, hunka burnin’ love, ‘ or ‘just a big-a, big-a, big-a hunk of love will do.’”

Ruby suddenly sang out in her beautiful voice, “Vivaaaaa, Las Vegas!” She raised her arms in a V triumph pose. In so doing, she made for an extremely sexy topless sight.

“Or that,” Michelle snickered. She was obviously reveling in the fact that I was forced to watch Ruby’s busty display.

I was fine with these jokes, because it furthered my goal of having Nicky accept a much more sexually open Cooper house as the new normal. But still, I had to put up a front as the responsible father, I said, “Folks, I hate to be a downer, but isn’t it inappropriate for a bunch of ladies, especially bare-chested ladies, to discuss a man’s private parts like this? Is nothing sacred?”

Mindy joked, “Don’t listen to him. ‘He’s in love... ‘“ She paused dramatically and then snapped her fingers. “‘He’s all shook up!’”

Ruby and Michelle wrapped their arms around each other and sang like a back-up chorus: “‘Mmmm-hmmm-mmmm, hmmm, yeaaaah, he’s all shook up!’”

All of us burst into laughter at that, even me.

Sue Ellen chimed in, “All y’all are all so great. This is so much fun. I love it here!”

Cindy snickered. “‘All y’all’ is a lot of alls. Is that more all than just ‘y’all?’”

Sue Ellen blushed, making her look totally adorable. “I’m sorry. I’ve tried to get rid of my Southern accent, but there are a few habits I can’t seem to break, and that’s one of ‘em.”

Ruby smiled and reached across the hot tub to take Sue Ellen’s hand. “I, for one, think it’s adorable. I think y’all need to keep it up.” She winked in support.

Sue Ellen beamed. But then she shyly looked to me. It seemed my opinion was the one that mattered the most to her.

I was having a hard time looking anywhere but at Ruby’s chest. With the way she was still leaning way over to hold Sue Ellen’s hand, she was showing off the mother of all tit dangles! Her puffy nipples were pointing straight down and occasionally bobbing in the water.

But I didn’t want Nicky to think I was a pervert. (Ha! A little too late for that!) I focused my attention on Sue Ellen, and said to her, “I love your accent. I wish you’d let it run free instead of trying to cover it up and sound exactly like everyone else.”

It looked like she wanted to squeeze me in a bear hug and smother me with kisses. But she looked at Nicky and managed to control herself - barely. “Thanks ... Dan!” She made a weird face after saying that. I’m guessing it already sounded strange and sour for her not to call me “Master.”

Trying to get the conversation back on track, I groused, “Everybody’s avoiding my question.”

Sue Ellen replied with a big grin and a heavy Southern accent. “Question? Bless my soul, I do believe I plum done forgot. Whatever do you mean, kind sir?”

I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. “That’s what I’m talking about! And when you talk like that, it’s sexy as hell. As for my question, I was asking if it wasn’t inappropriate for a bunch of topless women to be discussing a man’s private parts? Especially if half of those women are his own daughters and he’s right there listening!”

Mindy said, “Dan, Dan, Dan. Have I got bad news for you. The normal rules don’t apply in your case. You’ve got this telephone pole between your legs that’s as thick as a phone book. And I’m talking about the WIDTH of the book, not the depth!”

With a big smirk, she held her hands about two feet apart, which was wider than any dimension of any phone book I’d ever seen. “You can’t just expect us to ignore it like it’s some kind of normal penis or not discuss it. It’s the third most famous body part in this family!”

Her smirk somehow grew even more smirky as her comments grew even more exaggerated. “Heck, half the time, it’s dragging on the ground. And remember how we had to widen the front door just so you could sling that thing into the house!”

Ruby added more seriously, “We all have to live with it, even us, your daughters. And if that means getting a little more familiar with it, ya know, by pointing it out and joking about it, then so be it. Joking is always a great method to cope with awkward situations.”

“Hear, hear,” Michelle said, seconding Ruby for once.

I spoke my thoughts out loud: “Sheesh! I really need to do a better job of covering myself up in the future.”

I noticed a number of suddenly alarmed faces as soon as I said that. Luckily, no one was so unthinking as to blurt out “No!” or something like that. Still, the odd faces were suspicious.

Mindy tried to cover for that by giving an obviously jokey reply. “Daniel Cooper, what’s wrong with you, coming up with a crazy suggestion like that?”

I decided to just go with it. I joked back in a serious deadpan voice, “Sorry. Bless my soul, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I guess I’m itching like a man on a fuzzy tree.”

There was laughter as most of the others realized those were more lyrics to the song “All Shook Up.”

Mindy gamely ran with the song’s next line. “You know, as a friend, I have to say you’re acting wild as a bug.”

I replied with a straight face, “That’s because I’m in love.” I waited a dramatic pause, and finished, “I’m all shook up!”

Ruby and Michelle had their arms wrapped around each other once more, and they did their back-up chorus duties again: “‘Mmmm-hmmm-mmmm, hmmm, yeaaaah, he’s all shook up!’” Ruby is such a great singer that I think she even managed to sing that in harmony this time.

Sue Ellen clapped her hands with glee, which sent her hefty boobs wobbling. “This is so great! I totally know that song! And what’s extra funny is that line ‘I’m itching like a man on a fuzzy tree.’ That’s the real lyric!”

Ruby found that particularly funny. “I know! What the heck is a ‘fuzzy tree, ‘ and why would a man be sitting on one? Especially if it’s itchy!”

While the others joked some more about the fuzzy tree mystery, I took the time to look around.

I found it bizarre beyond words that we were laughing and joking and carrying on while every woman was topless! They all were acting like that fact wasn’t even worth mentioning. But the thing that really got to me was how I was surrounded by six extremely beautiful women, each one of them seriously stacked! I was surrounded by no less than three D-cup racks (Mindy, Cindy, and Sue Ellen), two E-cups (Nicky and Ruby), and one F-cup (Michelle). How could that not affect a “tit man” like me?!

A part of me thought, I need to stop this. They look far too tempting! If I really put my foot down and demand they put their bikini tops back on, they will. But then I also thought, On the other hand, this is almost certainly the new normal. I have to pick and choose my battles. Getting the girls to keep their tops on would be like starting a prolonged war. I need to suck it up, and control myself, for Nicky’s sake.

I didn’t want it to happen, but my penis soon grew back to full size. After what happened earlier though, with Sue Ellen’s “help,” I resolved to keep it in my swimsuit.

It wasn’t just the smorgasbord of bare breasts making me aroused. There were many little things adding up as well. For instance, we’d all been in the hot tub for a while, and as a result, even our faces were beaded with moisture. Some hair had gotten wet, and some strands were sticking to faces in a very alluring way. Sometimes, one woman or another would take a hand and lazily run it over some part of herself. Perhaps it was to wipe some of the water off, but it always looked sexy.

And some of the women had their arms around others, making things even more intimate. For instance, Mindy was on the other side of Nicky and had an arm around her daughter. Cindy was on the other side of Mindy and had an arm around her. Ruby and Michelle had an arm around each other, which resulted in four tits all pressed together in a line! Phew! I tried looking in their direction as little as possible, especially since I didn’t want Nicky to see me lusting after her sisters.

Also, the lighting was a curiously powerful turn-on for me. I simply couldn’t get enough of looking at each woman in the flickering torch light. It was like losing one’s self staring into a fire for a long time, with great feminine beauty added. And the total darkness just beyond our hot tub made everything more mysterious and exciting. Nearly all the lights in the house were off, much more so than last night. That helped make it seem that the entire world was just our little hot tub, plus the moon and the stars in the sky.

Sue Ellen seemed to have some kind of sixth sense about my penis, because mere seconds after it got hard, she reached for it and furtively tried to get it out of my swimsuit.

However, I wasn’t going to fall for that this time. I was in control again. I easily fended off her “attack.” It took a few long moments, but she got the idea and withdrew her greedy hand.

After checking to make sure the coast was clear, I shot a stern look at her and mouthed the word “Behave.”

Sue Ellen nodded with an impish smile. It was like she was saying, “I’m trying to be good and loyal, but even I have limits when you leave your big cock unattended right next to me.” She bowed her head slightly.

I hoped Nicky didn’t notice that submissive gesture. Thankfully, Sue Ellen was very brief with her bow.

Geez! How many times have I faced a furtive attempt at a handjob since Nicky has arrived? Usually when she’s sitting right next to me! This is getting to be a recurring problem. But I have to stay strong. I only have to hold out for the rest of the night, and then I’ll be in the clear!

The conversation had gone silent while I was soaking in the atmosphere. In fact, there was total silence for a minute or two, while each person just soaked up the atmosphere and the general fun and friendly feeling.

Nicky was the one to get the talking started when she said, “Okay, it’s been a few minutes. I’ve been trying to hold out, but I can’t contain myself any longer. Am I the ONLY one curious what Mom meant when she said Dad’s er ... the King is only the third most famous body part in the family?”

“Actually, I was wondering what that was too,” Sue Ellen said. “I figured it was the set-up to another one of Mindy’s jokes that somehow never happened.”

Mindy, “Actually that wasn’t a set-up; I was just trying to be accurate. Because Dan’s bulge even at it’s bulgiest doesn’t qualify as a traffic stopper. Yet we have two traffic stoppers, and they’re sitting side by side on Michelle’s chest.”

Michelle was very surprised and delighted. She threw her arms up in the air. “YES! Twin torpedo power for the win!” Wanting to make even more of a spectacle of herself, she stood up, stiffened up, and cupped her jutting globes from below. “Titty power!”

Of course I was highly impressed and aroused by Michelle’s sexy pose. But lately she’d been striking sexy poses frequently. What was even more impressive was that she was getting away with doing that with Nicky watching and me present! Because it was done in a jokey, boastful style instead of a seriously sexually tempting one, apparently it just barely passed muster. And that was helping break down barriers, bit by bit.

Nicky groaned unhappily. “Oh no, Mom. Don’t encourage her.”

Mindy ignored that, at least for now, and said, “Now, mind you, that’s not a knock on any other other very fine breasts in this little gathering of bodacious bosomy beauty. There are plenty of close calls for the most famous body part award. But I don’t think it can be denied that when we go out as a group, those are the two body parts that are going to get the loudest catcalls.”

Nicky groaned again. “I don’t deny it. But since I’ve been gone, have you guys reverted to doing nothing but talking about penises and breasts?”

Mindy joked, “Ah, very astute. As a matter of fact, that is all we do. But I see it as advancing, not reverting or retreated. Everybody knows that the finest minds in the world mainly talk about boobies and willies. For instance, did you know that the E in Einstein’s famous ‘E equals MC squared’ equation stands for ‘E-cup?’ True fact!”

Nicky rolled her eyes. As often was the case with us and Mindy’s jokes, she was amused but pretended to be chagrined. “NOT true fact.”

Then Nicky said while looking at Sue Ellen, “Let me quickly change the subject before Mom goes on a run of dumb jokes about geniuses and body parts. My mother and I had a very interesting discussion today when we took a walk before dinner.”

That had my sudden and complete interest. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Mindy since their walk, so I had no idea how it had gone. I also worried that Mindy had said too much about her cucquean ways. I braced myself for some potential bad news.

“Oh?” Sue Ellen asked cautiously.

“Yes. Before I say more, Michelle, you can it down and stop flaunting your breasts already?”

Michelle reluctantly let go of her boobs and sat back down. She said, “Sit, yes, stop flaunting, no. Breastest friends are not afraid to flaunt what they’ve got. Have you given that offer of mine any more consideration?”

“Yes, but not now.” Nicky waved her off and stayed focused on Sue Ellen and the topic at hand. “I’ve been really freaked out about everything that I have seen around here lately, so I needed to know what was going on. Apparently, Mom has this weird sort of ... condition ... called being a cucquean. I’ve never heard of such a thing before as I don’t think it is that common, and then I found out that Cindy is sympathetic to it, to some degree. Have you ever heard of it?”

Sue Ellen said she hadn’t, so Nicky took a minute to explain it to her.

All the while, Nicky had an arm around my back and I had an arm round her back. It was curious how we’d gotten so touchy feely during her visit. But I was enjoying it. My dick was stiff but untouched, and I was lightly buzzing with arousal but everything was under control.

Sue Ellen then showed her natural acting skills by sounding surprised. “Huh. That’s very strange. Mindy, how can that be? Everyone gets so upset to find their partner is cheating. Some people even commit murder over it.”

Mindy sighed in exasperation. “I keep having to explain that it’s totally different when it’s NOT cheating. Cheating is when it happens behind your back and without your knowledge. It’s lies and treachery. I’d hate that just as much as anybody! But when I give permission first, and even encourage it, that completely changes everything.”

Sue Ellen said carefully, “I guess I can see that, but even so, if you were to see your husband get intimate with another woman with your own eyes, wouldn’t that burn you up? Permission or not?”

Mindy said with a new fire in her eyes, “Yes! That’s true. It DOES burn me up. But it’s the burn that hurts so good! I LIKE that. I guess that’s why I’m weird and why this is uncommon, because most women don’t.”

I heard Nicky mutter, “To say the least!”

“But, to me, it creates a mixture of pain with the arousal that somehow heightens the arousal even more. And the naughtiness, the wrongness, the taboo-ness of it all makes it even MORE arousing! Just seeing Dan with Cindy drives me absolutely wild, even though she’s his official mistress now. In fact, just saying the words that he has an official mistress turns me on in a big way!”