Chapter 1: Wedding Morning (2013)

The clock on my battered blackberry said 6.46 am, which meant that it had been persistently playing its three-tone alarm for sixteen minutes.

I was exhausted both physically and mentally. As soon as the fog of sleep blew away, the dull ache in my chest returned. The wedding was today. Jazz would marry him, and I would probably never see her again.

At least her husband was a nice guy and pretty progressive and liberal for a Nigerian Muslim. I knew he would take good care of her and treat her right, so that was good at least.

I looked at my phone and noticed the red light blinking. I had a message. I grimaced, I had added a couple of Jazz's friends and one of them liked her annoying broadcast messages.

'R u up?' It was Jazz. My heart skipped in my chest. It had been sent only fifteen minutes before. 'Just woke up, u?' I typed that instinctively then realised the inanity of the message. 'Dumb question, how else would we be having this conversation.' 'lol, ' she typed back.

I watched as the info bar under her name said 'typing' for what seemed like forever. Then it stopped.

'What were u gonna say?' 'Never mind.' 'Go on say it.' 'Fine I wanted to ask you to come over.' 'What room?' '342.' 'I'll be there.'

I got up and walked into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I brushed my teeth, and then pissed. I cupped my balls and they smelled fresh enough. I washed my hands, pulled on the sweater I had worn the day before and headed to the lift. I was on the sixth floor. There were a few people already on the lift as I got on. A middle-aged man in a blazer looked at his watch anxiously.

Finally, I got to the third floor. Jazz was waiting for me in the doorway. She was wearing a vest and pyjama pants. She wore a bra under the vest and its lace design showed through the vest's thin cotton fabric. She wore a knitted poncho style robe over it in case anyone came by. Jazz had always been a shy and modest person.

We walked into 342. Her PS3 was on. 'Did you sleep at all?' I asked. 'I'm about to finish, ' she said. 'You're about to beat 'The Last of Us'? 'Yeah. Eight hours non-stop, since the family dinner last night.'

She picked up the controller and got back in her covers. I sat down on the low armchair with the high back and watched her play.

'This feels nice really nostalgic, ' she said as she died again and we waited for the game to load up. 'At least I haven't fallen asleep this time.' She laughed at that. We lived together for two years and I would fall often fall asleep on the couch after dinner while we watched TV or played a game. I would wake up with a start in the middle of the night and all would be quiet, Jazz would have turned off the TV and gone to her room. Sometimes though, she would have a marathon gaming session, kind of like now.

'Aren't you, like, supposed to be getting married, like, today, ' I said, affecting a Valley Girl voice. 'Like, yeah, ' she giggled, affecting the same voice. 'I couldn't sleep anyway.' 'Are you excited?' 'I'm scared.' She looked at me as she said it, and her face crumpled and she started to cry.

I moved unto the bed and gathered her into my arms. I felt the dampness of her tears on my chest. I rubbed her back tenderly, and held her tightly. After a while she stopped.

'Let us never speak of this again, ' she said with a shaky laugh. I laughed back. 'Your secret is safe with me.' I held her for a long time, I was aware of everything. How she smelled, the sound of her breathing, the pinks and yellows of the flowers on her hairnet. I'm not sure which one of us made the first move.

My hands slowly moved from her lower back up to her shoulders. I moved my hand over the bump of her bra enjoying the roughness of the bump in contrast to the smoothness of the cotton of her vest.

She looked at me; her eyes were still wet, but behind the tears I saw a look I hadn't seen in a long time. I leaned my head forward, mouth slightly open. She met my full lips with hers, and we worked our mouths till they met as if they were two parts of the same mould. Our tongues met and danced. She would pull back and nip at my lower lip, making me whimper in pleasure.