Hey Mom, I'm Home!
Chapter 3

 

“Hey Mom, I’m Home!”

“In the kitchen,” she said since I came in the front door.

“Oh! That smells so good. That’s corned beef, isn’t it?”

“Yes, you have a nose for odors. What’s going on with you?” she asked me.

“I’ve got a problem; I think?”

“Well, do you, or don’t you?”

She turned back to the sink area. I got behind her like I sometimes do and gave her a kiss on the back of her neck.

“What is it, you want? I’m a little busy here, Jimmy.”

“That’s one of the things I need to tell you. Could you please call me James from now on?”

“Certainly, does this have anything to do with a girl?”

“Yeah, I feel infatuated, for the first time. Really in love.”

“Do I know her?” she asked.

“James, I knew I would find you in here. What are you cooking, Mom?”

That was Nancy/Gloria.

Mom turned, saw Nancy, and then looked over at me. “Corned beef and cabbage and French sourdough bread. Wash up, it’s ready.”

We came back, and Nan sat down next to me. Dad walked in and said, “How is everybody?”

“Pretty good,” I said.

“Fine dear,” mom answered.

“Spectacular,” Nancy said.

“And why is that?” he followed up putting his napkin on his lap.

“I got asked to go to the Blake Shelton Concert. It’s in two days,” she explained.

“And who is the lucky fellow whom I get to interrogate before he takes my pumpkin out to a concert.”

“Uh ... that would be me, Dad,” I admitted, to the excited eyes of my sister and the evil eye of my mother.

“My goodness, the way you sound about it, I thought it might be a real boyfriend and not just your brother doing his good deed of the year.”

“Actually,” I said, “She was my first choice. I’ve always thought that I needed to treat my pretty sister nicer than I have been.”

“Is there a lunar eclipse tonight? Is this our son, Mona?”

“I’ve wondered that myself honey,” she said to dad, but still looked over at me.

We dished out the food. I helped Nancy, getting an appreciative smile from her.

There was enough tension at the table, but I did my best to answer whatever was asked.

“I will clean up,” I said.

“So will I,” my excitable sister said.

“I will let James help me,” mom said, excusing Nancy.

I stacked the dirty dishes in the sink. I started to hand washing them. Mom was glaring at me, waiting, for the moment, to start her interrogation.

“Are you going to tell me, or do I get to ask your sister about this, James!”

That make me jump a bit, but I didn’t break anything. Even so, it’s early. I might leave the kitchen with something broken. Maybe even my heart!

“It’s kind of funny actually,” I said looking to see her reaction.

“Well?”

“It all started as a fake school drama thing,” I said.

“REALLY?”

“Was that ‘inappropriate touching’ a fake school drama thing?”

“No!”

“Your sister appears head over heels in love with you. Have you two done anything that can’t be undone?”

“No, but I am quite sure I want to pursue her as a girlfriend!”

“Are you OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!”

I had never heard that kind of language from our mother before.

I started back up washing dishes. It was quiet again. I had a spoon in my hand, and I turned to my beautiful mother. “I did a long research paper and got to pick my own subject matter. The teacher was shocked when I turned it in, but looking past the subject matter, she gave me an A plus.”

“I don’t remember that, did your father, or I even look at it?” she asked. “Anyway, what was it about honey?”

“Just a moment, I will go get it,” I said.

I had it in my hand and placed it where it wouldn’t get wet.

She looked at it for a second, then turned to me, “You wrote an English paper about ‘Incest?’”

“Yes, I did. I spent almost 30 hours researching the matter prior to starting to write anything. That grade was the best in our entire class. I even got to read it out loud.”

She dried her hands and began to read it. “Good arguments, well worded. You have a knack for the written word; it seems. So, this paper explains why you want to start a sexual relationship with your older sister?”

 
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