It was a Monday morning and we were sitting at the kitchen table. We had finished eating breakfast and I was drinking my coffee and reading the morning paper. My wife Bea said:
"Would you put the paper down Rob? I have to talk to you."
I put the paper down on the table and then asked, "What is it Bea?"
"I'm leaving you Rob. I want a divorce."
"Is that all?"
I picked the paper back up and started reading the sports section.
"I'm serious Rob."
I ignored her and she got agitated. "Damn it Rob; put that fucking paper down and talk to me."
"Why? I've got nothing to say except goodbye. It isn't any great loss. You haven't been worth a shit as a wife for over a year anyway. So go."
I put the paper down and said, "Give me just a second" and I got up and went into the room that I used for a home office. I picked up a pad of paper and a pen from the top of my desk and got an envelope out of one of the drawers. I went back to the kitchen table, sat down and on the top sheet of the pad I wrote:
Thank you, thank you, thank you and thank God she is gone."
I started to put it in the envelope and then had a thought. I took one of the lottery tickets I'd purchased the previous evening out of my wallet and put it in the envelope. Then I added to my note:
"Maybe if you get lucky and win it will be enough to keep the cheating whore satisfied with you and she won't go out and cheat again. Good luck dude; you are going to need it."
I signed it "A very thankful Rob."
I folded the page and put it into the envelope, sealed it, addressed it and handed it to Beatrice.
"When you see him give him this."
She took it and with a shocked expression on her face she said:
"Just because you think I'm clueless doesn't make it so. On second thought" I said as I took the envelope back from her, "I'll mail it to him. I don't trust you not to open it up, read it and then throw it away. Now why don't you go and pack and get the fuck out of my life and since you are the one that wants to leave you need to get out of the house ASAP. I'm sure not leaving. No way am I getting out just so you can move your lover in."
I got up, poured my coffee in a travel mug, topped it off and left for work.
On the way to work I stopped at the bank and closed out the savings and checking accounts and took the contents out of our safe deposit box. Then I went to a bank closer to work and opened new accounts in my name only. When I got to work I called and cancelled all of our joint credit cards and arranged for new cards in my name only and that done I tackled my days workload.
I stopped after work and had dinner and drinks with my executive assistant and told her that I was back on the market if her sister was still interested. Stella laughed and said:
"To hell with my sister. If you are back in circulation I want to be first in line."
Stella had started with me as a secretary ten years ago and had proven so valuable that four years previous I had promoted her my personal assistant and then to justify the raise I thought she deserved I'd made her my executive assistant. Two years previous on a Sunday I'd thrown a back yard barbecue and I had invited Stella. She'd told me that she couldn't make it because her sister was in town visiting and I'd told her to bring her sister along also. Her sister Tara was a sexy looking and very busty blond and on Monday Stella laughingly told me that her sister had the hots for me. I laughed and told her never to let Bea know that because Bea could be (and had at times actually been) insanely jealous. And now Stella was telling me she was interested? I'd never had a clue that she might have had thoughts like that where I was concerned.
"Okay then" I jokingly said, "Tara moves to second place and you can have the top spot."
"I'm not joking here boss. I'm serious as hell. I want a shot."
"You might not when you hear what I have to offer."
"And what is that?"
"Bea told me that she wanted a divorce so I'm leaving it up to her and her lover to make it happen and I have no idea what their timetable might be."
"She hooked up with a guy about a year and a half ago and I guess she finally decided that a couple of days a week with him weren't enough so she's going fulltime."
"How long have you known?"
"A year and a half. I've known almost since the day it started."
"How could you know that?"
"She was seen by a friend of mine going into a motel room with a man and she gave me a call. I put a private detective on Bea for a week and he got me all that I needed to know."
"A year and a half and you did nothing about it?"
"What was to do? Get all pissy about it and turn my life upside down? This state is no fault. Everything would have to be split fifty/fifty and I would have had to sell the house and split the proceeds with her. I would have had to give up the pool, the hot tub, my woodworking shop and my three car garage and move into an apartment somewhere. No thank you. I decided to just ignore it and let her cook for me, do my laundry and clean the house."
"How could you stand being around her knowing that she was cheating on you?"
"You would be surprised at how quickly love can turn into hate and then hate turn into indifference."
"I can't believe that a healthy guy like you could go a year and a half without sex."
"I didn't go without. As long as Bea still offered I still took and she did still offer although the frequency did drop some. I wouldn't touch her on the days I knew that she had been with him, but other than that the only change was that I stopped making love and started just having sex."
"You have any idea of why she did it?"
"Not a clue, but he probably wasn't the first one."
"You think she has had other lovers?"
"I have no way of knowing for sure, but what I do know is that in the ten years we have been married she has gone into a certain sort of mood four times that I can remember. Four times that she has behaved like she has behaved since she took up with the guy she is seeing now. It is only a guess on my part, but I'd almost bet that the other times were for the same reason. If she hadn't been seen and I hadn't been alerted to what was going on I would have taken the recent mood as just another one of those female things. I may be all wrong in my thinking, but it really doesn't matter. I know about the one and that is all I need to know about to know that she is a cheating bitch."
"What are you going to do now?"
"Wait? For what?"
"To see what she is going to do. She is on her own now. I've cleaned out the bank accounts, cancelled all of her credit cards and told her to get out of the house. She wanted a divorce so I'm leaving it to her to get it. Since she doesn't make enough to support herself and still be able to pay an attorney she will have to get the money for the attorney from her lover and I don't know if he will give it to her. I'm assuming that they talked it over before she hit me with it, but I have no way of knowing.
"What I am saying here is that if you are really interested you will be running around with a married man who has no idea of how long it will be before he is divorced."
"You are not thinking too clearly here Rob."
"If she goes for the divorce she is in control. You will get served and it could be bad. You have no idea of what she might do. You could be ordered to vacate the house and maintain her pending hearings. What if she files and says that it is because of mental and physical cruelty and gets a restraining order keeping you away from her and the house? You need to be the one setting the pace boss. You need to be in the driver's seat. Make her respond to you and not the other way around. Besides, you filing helps me."
"Helps you? How?"
"If you are going to wait and let her file what if she doesn't? What if lover boy won't give her the money to do it? That would put us in the position of committing adultery and she could use that against you somewhere down the line. You say she cheated and she says so what? You did too." If you file you are saying that as far as you are concerned the marriage is over and what you do from that point on is none of her business. From a strictly legal point of view you will still be legally married until the divorce is final and taking up with me would still technically be adultery, but no court would use it against you as long as it was something that didn't start before you separated from Bea.
"So, from where I sit I need to stay away from you until either you or Bea get the legal ball rolling. If we wait on her it could be years or it could be next week, but with her controlling things. If you do it it could be as soon as this weekend. If you could get into see an attorney early tomorrow you could conceivable have Bea served by Thursday and that would give me the weekend to work on hooking you."
"Damned straight boss man. What good does it do to be first on the list if you don't take advantage of it?"
.... There is more of this story ...