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Chapter 54

Copyright© 2013 by Banzai Ben

Flashback – Ben – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

The torture by strapping tape was over but I had a serious question. I looked at Tatiana and asked, "So how bad is it going to hurt when you take off the strapping tape?"

I could see great concern in the look that Tatiana gave me as she answered, "Ben, it will not be very comfortable."

Elena added, "Tatiana, perhaps we could use alcohol to help remove the glue from the tape and make it easier to remove."

Elena's plan gave me and idea and Tatiana didn't realize she left the vodka beside me in my seat. I reached down, grabbed it, twisted off the top and took a long hard draw - then I heard a screech...

Flashback – Tatiana – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

I was shocked! I left the vodka bottle by Ben and he helped himself to a very large drink! I yelled, "Ben Blaine, what in hades are you doing? Give me that bottle!"

He laughed and stated, "Like hell I will! Since no one brought any pain medicine with them, I am going to use the vodka medicinally."

I gave him a very stern nurse look and using my most fearsome nurse voice commanded again, "Ben, give me that bottle!"

He defiantly opened the bottle, took another long drink then announced, "Your Jedi mind tricks won't work on me, besides you didn't use the 'magic' word."

I was puzzled by both statements. Jack then began to laugh and said, "Banzai, please share some of that vodka with me."

Ben continued his laughing and countered, "Well Jack, you did use the 'magic' word however I wasn't aware you were in pain so I'm hesitant to give you my medicinal vodka."

Jack reminded Ben, "Hell, are you forgetting all the cuts on my face?"

Ben rudely insulted Jack, "Hell, the cuts on your face actually improve your looks and with all the nurses we have on this flight you think one of them could take care of you." The sarcasm was obvious when he said nurses which made me even more upset.

I looked at Ben and came up with a great idea so I answered, "Ben you are correct, I should remove the debris from Jack's face however I will need the vodka to clean the wounds."

Ben derisively laughed, "I knew were going to say that so let me take one more long drink then I will give you the bottle."

I considered another threat but I realized the last time I seriously threatened Ben it resulted in me being fired as his personal nurse. He grinned the whole time he slowly unscrewed the lid off the bottle and then took another long drink.

When he finally handed me the bottle, I looked at him, grinned and...

Flashback – Ben – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

What the hell! Tatiana didn't give the bottle of vodka to Jack. I couldn't believe it as she grinned at me (like a fucking Cheshire cat), unscrewed the top, tipped the bottle up and drained the rest of it without pausing (and there was close to half a bottle left). I complained, "Hey, that was my medicinal vodka."

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand a laughed, "And did you forget about my back? Because of it I am in the most pain of all of you."

Elena confirmed Tatiana's self-assessment, "With the multitude of wounds, Tatiana's assessment is most likely accurate."

I questioned if she could be in more pain than me, but I was smart enough not to counter Elena's claim. And Shit! I had forgotten temporarily about her back (probably because of the vodka) and her reminder made me feel like shit again. I profusely apologized, "Tatiana, I am so sorry about your back, I will make it up to you somehow."

Tatiana said, "Ben it was not your fault - I happened to be in the incorrect place at the incorrect time. You are lucky you didn't also injure Masha because she was beside me." Tatiana appeared to think for a moment and then continued, "That reminds me Masha, what did I hear about you possibly being pregnant?"

Flashback – Masha – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

I had wished to avoid the fact that I was adjacent to Tatiana when she was injured, but now the korska (cat) was out of the bag. I got ready to answer when Jack interrupted, "Masha, what the hell is Tatiana talking about? You might be pregnant and you were with Tatiana when she was injured? What the hell were you thinking?"

I prepared to formulate an answer when Ben began to laugh like crazy and then surprised us as he sang,"

Love's got a hold on me, baby, Feels like a ball and chain.

Now, love's just draggin' me down, baby, Feels like a ball and chain.

I hope there's someone out there who could tell me

Why the woman I love wanna leave me in so much pain.

Yeah, maybe, maybe you could help me, come on, help me."

He finished and continued his idiotic laugh. However the song he sang inadvertently gave me the answer to the riddle of what an 'old ball and chain' was so I took the opportunity to redirect and respond, "Ben Blaine, are you telling me that the 'old ball and chain' that you have teased Jack, myself and Tatiana about is love? If so Tatiana, what are your feelings on this?"

Tatiana even in her inebriated state understood, glared at Ben and drunkenly complained, "Well, if he feels my love is 'dragging him down' and it is a ball and chain, whatever that is, then perhaps I need to fire him as my boyfriend like he fired me as his personal nurse!"

What was said next totally shocked us!

Flashback – Ben – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

Shit! I made a huge mistake singing the ball and chain song because it let both Masha and Tatiana know what the 'old ball and chain' was and now I was going to pay the price. Thank God I was partially drunk so the pain wouldn't be as bad. However I was shocked and almost sobered up when Tatiana threatened to fire me as her boyfriend (I am sure it was in retaliation for me firing her as my personal nurse).

Then Elena announced, "Ben, I have been seriously considering things and if Tatiana doesn't want you as her boyfriend, I certainly do!" This totally ruined the buzz I had from the vodka!

I was shocked the rest of the way sober and asked, "I thought I wasn't your type."

She laughed and answered, "Ben, I am not a lesbian, I am bi-sexual so you are certainly my type."

I stumbled and didn't know what to say but Tatiana re-asserted her claim, "Elena, no one is taking my boyfriend away from me."

Elena smiled and then laughed, "Well, you are the one that didn't want him anymore."

Tatiana countered, "Over my dead body!"

I needed to defuse this situation so I replied, "Elena, I am flattered by your offer, however as long as Tatiana wants me, she is my girlfriend."

Tatiana added, "That's damn right Ben! I'm not only your girlfriend, I had better be your only girlfriend!"

I looked at Elena, noticed a twinkle in her eyes and figured that Tatiana and I had been played by a master. However, this time I was smart enough not to say anything.

But the situation hadn't run its course yet...

Flashback – Masha – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

While Ben, Tatiana and Elena worked out their issues, I still had some issues to resolve. I angrily stated, "Ben Blaine, I am still not happy that you compared my love to Jack as an 'old ball and chain'. Now that I know more about the connotation of an 'old ball and chain' I am more upset than ever."

Ben looked at me and I was shocked when he didn't apologize! Instead he asserted, "Masha, you don't understand that I didn't mean any insult to you. I was doing two things..."

I interrupted, "What two things are those because I feel greatly insulted?"

Ben smiled at me and answered, "Masha, I've known Jack for years..."

Jack Interrupted, "Hell, too many years..."

Ben continued, "Masha, I've never seen Jack have feelings towards anyone, not even me, like he has toward you. Hell, he's head over heels in love with you! When I teased him about the old ball and chain, it was to acknowledge he really loved you – and the second part was that if any two people in the whole world should be together, it's the two of you."

Jack came to Ben's defense, "Masha honey, Banzai is telling the truth."

As I began to cry, Jack gives me a big hug and asked...

Flashback – Jack – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

Banzai really screwed the pooch on this one: Masha is still upset and shit ... She begins to cry! I hugged her tight and asked, "Masha what's wrong now?"

She pulled away some, sniffled and said, "Jack, I do not want to talk about it."

I glared at Banzai and offered, "Masha when Banzai gets better I will make him pay for getting you so upset."

Masha continued and said, "Jack it's not Ben, it's a woman problem."

I began to question her further when Tatiana interrupted...

 
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