Chapter 20

Flashback – Ben – At the hospital

I was glad that Tatiana chose to be my girlfriend and not my personal nurse so my first request (I say request because you sure as hell don't order a woman to do anything) was, "Okay girlfriend, how about you finding me a new personal nurse to take your place?"

She countered, "Ben, I really wouldn't mind cleaning you up."

I knew she was going to say that so I asked for confirmation, "So then, you're really my nurse and not my girlfriend?"

I almost laughed as she said...

Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital

Ben was being extremely stubborn, even more stubborn than usual. I offered to clean him up but he implied if I did I wasn't his girlfriend. I questioned, "So does this mean a girlfriend can't clean up her boyfriend?"

Ben shocked me (because the news crews were still here and recording everything) when he replied, "Not unless we're taking a shower together. Then we can really 'clean' each other up."

I blushed while the sassy little reporter (who I instantly hated) stated, "My offer to help is still valid if you require assistance."

I glared at her and answered, "Ben needs a real nurse, not someone who pretends to be a nurse."

However she countered, "Oh, I am also a real nurse, not just a reporter. So Ben Blaine, would you accept me for your new personal nurse?"

Flashback – Jack – At the hospital

Was Banzai fucking crazy or perhaps he had a brain injury from the most recent accident. The cute little reporter offered to be his nurse while Tatiana's mouth gaped open as Ben replied, "That sounds like it would be a great idea, especially since Tatiana has not found me a replacement yet."

Tatiana whined, "Don't I get a say in this? After all, I am your girlfriend."

Banzai replied, "Well honey, you had a chance to find a new personal nurse for me but you didn't. She's here, she made the offer and I sort of like her."

Masha wisely grabbed Tatiana by the arm and escorted her outside. Banzai's new private nurse ordered, "We need everyone to leave the room before I start to bathe my new patient."

The other news crews grumbled and left while I stayed but she glared at me and demanded, "That includes you, Sir."

I complained, "I work for a damn living and I am not a Sir! However, I am the highest ranking American in this room right now."

She cutely waved her hand at me and said, "I would not care if you were President Putin, now shoo."

Banzai fought back a laugh at me for being 'shooed' out of the room. I stepped out of the room and right into...

Flashback – Masha – In the hallway outside Ben's room at the hospital

I exercised my authority and wisdom while escorting Tatiana into the hallway before she killed the little news girl (who I guess is Ben's new personal nurse). Tatiana complained, "I should go back in and kill both of them."

I attempted to calm her, "Tatiana, I'm sure that Ben is doing this for a reason."

Tatiana continued to complain (and I don't really blame her - if Jack had a nurse who looked like her I would be upset), then Jack walked into the hallway. Tatiana looked at him and questioned, "Why aren't you staying in there while she bathes Ben."

Jack stated, "She wouldn't let me - she shooed me out of the room."

I couldn't prevent Tatiana from taking her next action...

Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital

I stormed back into the room expecting to see something revolting and I was surprised when I saw the little bitch had changed into scrubs and was actually giving Ben a very demure sponge bath (Ben was under the sheets), while she interviewed him. She questioned, "So tell me more about your feelings for your girlfriend Tatiana. Does she know how much you love her?"

Ben laughed, "She's here now so you can ask her yourself."

She turned, smiled at me and questioned, "Hello Tatiana, do you know how much Ben loves you?"

I stammered, "He ... He ... He does?"

She smiled and answered, "Of course he does! I could tell the minute I first saw you two together."

I continued, "But ... But ... But I thought you wanted to???"

She giggled and interrupted, "No Tatiana. Ben is not my type, if you understand what I mean."

Ben said, "Yeah, I could tell immediately, that's why I chose her to be my new personal nurse. I didn't want to make you jealous."

I stammered, "You ... You ... You knew and didn't want me to be jealous?"

Ben laughed and declared, "Hell yes, that's what I did and you keep confusing me with Russian men! I will never do anything to make you jealous."

Ben's new personal nurse said, "Now shoo and let me finish giving him his sponge bath. Your presence here is creating a problem."

I unwisely questioned, "What problem is that?"

She stepped aside, pointed at the tented bed and explained, "That problem. He didn't do that when it was only me in the room."

I was stunned as I retreated into the hallway...

Flashback – Masha – In the hallway outside Ben's room at the hospital

I tried to follow Tatiana into the room but Jack restrained me and ordered, "Masha, we need to let those two work out their own problems."

I complained, "But Jack, she could really hurt that other woman."

Jack replied, "Ben would never let that happen."

I was sure that Jack was incorrect since he probably had an incomplete assessment of Tatiana's skills. While we argued about this, a very strange looking Tatiana entered the hallway. I questioned, "Tatiana what is wrong?"

She smiled at me and replied, "Nothing. Ben's new nurse is a lesbian and has no interest in Ben other than obtaining a method to exclusively interview him."

Jack stated, "Yeah, I sort of figured she was. But I need to get in there and have a talk with Banzai."

Jack went into the room and I began to question Tatiana...

Flashback – Ben – At the hospital

Jack walked into the room. Elena (that was my new nurse's name) turned and complained, "I thought I shooed you out of the room."

Jack explained, "I need to have a word with Banzai in private so you will need to leave the room. And that's an order!"

Elena left the room, Jack walked over to the bed and ordered, "Banzai, you need to be careful what you tell your new personal nurse. Remember she is a reporter."

I complained, "Jack you old fart, you must be confusing me with you."

He demanded, "What the hell do you mean?"

I laughed, "Hell, you're so twitter-pated and partly senile you'd tell Masha anything she asked. I knew what I was doing when I chose Elena for my personal nurse. It's the best way to control exactly what is said to the press over here."

Jack countered, "Like hell I would! You take that back!"

I laughed some more and argued, "Like hell I will! You need to have a serious talk with yourself and you'll see I'm right. Now get the hell out of my room and send Elena back in before my bathwater gets too cold."

When I walked back into the hallway, Elena was talking to Masha and Tatiana and they were laughing. I walked up and said, "Banzai said his bath water is getting cold."

Elena turned, saluted and sarcastically said, "Yes Sir!" And then gaily skipped into his room.

I looked at Masha and Tatiana and questioned, "Is everything okay?"

They both stated, "Of course, why would there be a problem?"

I thought, women, who can understand them!

My stomach growled and Masha surmised, "Jack you must be hungry. We need to find you something edible. Tatiana, why don't you accompany us and bring something back for Ben?"

Flashback – Jens – At home

I'd set my clothes on fire and Daddy left to talk to the firemen. I'd won sort of a victory with mother (by playing the prima ballerina card) so mother had me take off all my clothes which was embarrassing as all heck and then IT HAPPENED. A fireman burst into the room, I screamed and tried to cover myself with the closest clothes (unfortunately it was one of the dresses that I'd set on fire) then I screamed for real, "Help me, it's burning me!"