Chapter 50

Sam and Brock were standing in the wings waiting for the signal to come to the altar when Brock saw five women sneak into the back pew of the church. It took him a second but he finally put together where he'd met them – the night before at the Adult Video Expo.

"Oh, shit," he muttered.

"What?" Sam asked nervously. It was the second time he'd been married but the first time in almost 30 years.

"Nothing, Sam," Brock said. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Chris and Zack.

A fresh text arrived a few moments later: "They're on the guest list."

He saw Zack reenter the room and shrug. Brock smelled something rotten in the works but he wasn't sure what.

Meredith and Tara were bridesmaids and the ceremony was about to start. Still, Brock decided to give his girlfriend a call. After all, she had to be the one to set this up.

He cursed to himself when the call went to voicemail and was about to store his cell phone in his bag so he could lead Sam out when it vibrated.

"Everything OK?" Meredith asked.

"Did you invite any new guests today?" Brock asked.

"A few," Meredith admitted. "Just people we met recently. Why?"

"You know why," Brock said in a whisper. "Your Dad is already nervous. He's going to shit when he walks out there and sees those two."

"They're not going to make a scene or anything," Meredith protested. "I called this morning about the dress I saw. We got to talking and I told them it was my Dad they were goofing with. I invited them to come to the reception to ask him for a dance and then invited them for the ceremony when I found out they weren't busy today. We just thought it would be funny. Erin knows about it. It's just our little prank on him."

"If this backfires, don't say I didn't warn you," Brock said. "Christ, he's about 10 heartbeats per minute away from a coronary as it is."

He turned the phone off before he heard a reply and stuffed it in his bag.

"Hey, Sam," Brock said. "The young women planned a joke for you today. They invited those two girls who kissed you on the cheek last night to the ceremony. Don't freak out when you see them."

"They invited who?" Sam asked, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"The porn stars," Brock said. "I showed Meredith the picture. She wanted to know where one of them got her dress. I guess it snowballed from there. So just play it cool. I think Meredith is still a little peeved that you're not being married by Elvis."

"Nothing like starting married life by getting your ass chewed out by your new wife," Sam remarked. "I haven't spoken to her today yet. I'll bet Erin is just going to be thrilled when I explain how I know them."

"She apparently already knows," Brock said. "So play it off – and don't let them know I told you. Anyway, it's time to go."

Brock and Sam went through the door to stand beside the officiant. As soon as Sam turned to face the group, two young women rose slightly in their seats and waved to him. Sam just waved back as though he didn't have any idea who they were. Brock had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the looks of amazement on the faces of Jen, Melanie, Susan, Randi, Emmy and Zoe. A glance to his left showed Esmi and Mandy sitting with their arms crossed in disappointment. The men sitting with their respective dates appeared to have no clue what was going on – except for Chris and Zack who badly feigned nonchalance.

"You are one cool customer," Brock muttered.

"If I didn't think it would bite me in the ass, I'd walk back and talk to them," Sam said through the side of his mouth. "I figured I would just pretend I don't recognize them. I mean, shit, they could be anyone, right?"

About that time the wedding march started and Meredith made her way down the aisle. She gave Brock a sheepish look and moved to the side of the altar.

Tara followed and then Erin.

The ceremony was short and not overly religious. When it ended, Sam and Erin Van Landingham were presented to the crowd. Tara and Meredith each took one of Brock's arms as he led them from the room. He gave a wink to the women in the back row and nudged Meredith with his hip as they passed them.

"He had no idea who they were," Meredith remarked as they got outside. "I was watching him to make sure I didn't have to call 9-1-1. He just waved back and went on with his business. That totally bombed."

"I told you we should have had them run up the aisle and beg him to reconsider," Tara remarked.

"Oh, Christ," Brock muttered. He couldn't decide if Tara was joking or not.

"It wasn't a total loss," Meredith said. "I got invited to join their web site. You were asking me about my career path last month. How does a nude model sound to you?"

"She's kidding," Tara said with a nudge when she saw the look that crossed Brock's face. "We actually thought Sam would find it funny to see them. The text I got from Zack let me know it wasn't as fully appreciated as what we thought it might be."

By the time Tara spoke, Sam and Erin had passed by after signing their marriage certificate.

"Brock was more worried about it than I was," Sam remarked smugly. "I thought it was funny."

Sam didn't think it was quite as funny when the two women pulled him down for a fresh kiss as they passed by the receiving line.

"Save us a dance at the reception!" one of them said as they headed to their car.

"A slow dance," the other added with a wink.

Thankfully, they were the last ones through the line so Sam was saved the need to explain why he looked so embarrassed. Brock was thankful, too. That way he didn't have any distractions as he watched their butts as they walked away.

At least he was undistracted until Meredith punched him on the arm.

"Do you get a free membership when you're a model?" Brock asked as they made their way to the limo that would transport them to the hotel for the reception. Now that the ceremony had come off without a hitch, he felt a sense of relief.

"I get a free fork to gouge your eyes out," Meredith said.

"A free... ," Brock began. "Oh, you said 'fork'. My bad."

"You're awful," Meredith replied.

"So, is it true that the bridesmaids are always naked under their dresses?" Brock asked. Zack and Tara were sharing the limo with them and Zack gave him a look of definite interest.

"Where in the hell did you hear that?" Tara wondered. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"So, it's not true?" Zack put forth. He knew Brock was joking and he figured he'd play along.

"You keep that up and you'll never find out," Tara said. "Seriously, is that some kind of urban myth or something?"

"Just wishful thinking," Brock joked.

"You know how guys are when you expose them to pornography," Zack commented. "We turn into animals."

"Yeah, well, we're animal control," Meredith said. "You two behave yourselves or we'll make sure the porn girls stay well away from you at the reception."

The reception was far more entertaining than the ceremony had been. The group of newcomers seemed to fit in seamlessly. They flitted about and chatted with the other guests as if they'd known them for years.

The Dollar Dance was a big hit as they kept returning to the line to pester Sam. Of course that meant the men in attendance – who were far outnumbered by the women – had to do the same with Erin. No one seemed to mind, though.

"This is going well," Meredith remarked as they managed a dance together.

"People are having fun," Brock agreed. "Sam and Erin look happy. You're having a good time. I couldn't ask for anything better."

"I'm going upstairs to change out of my dress in a little while," Meredith said. "I'll grab you when I go."

"Sure," Brock replied. He was about to step off the dance floor when a woman he had been introduced to as Sarah cut in front of him and directed him back to the dance floor, much to Meredith's amusement.

The conversation with Sarah was eerily familiar. In fact, she began it almost with the identical words that Meredith had used.

"This is working out pretty nicely," she said.

Brock couldn't help but laugh. Aside from the fact Meredith's hair was red and Sarah's was blonde a person probably couldn't tell them apart from the back.

"What's so funny?" Sarah asked.

"My girlfriend said the same thing not five minutes ago," Brock replied. "Given the fact you two are shaped similarly, it struck me as humorous."

"You mean given the fact that Meredith has big jugs, too," Sarah noted with a laugh.