The Wall and Goat
Chapter 11

Copyright© 2013 by Sasha Distan

Romantic Sex Story: Chapter 11 - Maxie's grandmother tells him that love and hate are two horns on the same goat. That snowy day in January, a boy shows up who could just be that goat. Jesse is new to town and not happy about it. Maxie reminds him of memories he would rather leave behind and as the boy's grow apart and closer together they both realize that they need to change.

Caution: This Romantic Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including mt/mt   Consensual   Romantic   Gay   BiSexual   Interracial   First   Safe Sex   Oral Sex   Anal Sex   Masturbation  

As the tail end of winter petered out into the hopeful begins of spring Jesse and I sorted out a routine. We talked through the wall, that hadn't changed, but now most evenings would find me at his after school. He found the untidiness of my room distracting, and since his mother worked late it was easier to relax there. We went from school to his, or out to Toast, sometimes with Toman and Mina in tow and chatted or did homework on the table in the corner. Paul gave us the run of his house afterschool, and we ended up there a few times, long slow make out sessions lying upside down on the bed which inevitably lead to us both needing showers.

We ran most days; later and later as the sun drew out, often taking Nuka with us if we'd been at Paul's eating his food and making laundry. It became clear very quickly that not only did Jesse love to run, but he needed it. The further we went, the more miles we covered, the better he was. He got more and more open the harder we ran, so when early spring training started I signed up with him for the school team. Jesse said that running earnt his sanity back. The more we ran, the fewer his nightmares. The first friendly cross country meet against the local school was good for both of us. We knocked the whole game off, came in first and second, and beat the hell out of everyone from our school. Ian went back to being his usual friendly self after that, and Jesse started smiling again when he came out of PE.

Jesse and I shared everything, from homework and music to food and quick kisses in my kitchen when no one was around to see. He loved eating at my house, and Babaanne began to teach him a little Turkish every time he came around for dinner. Both our parents calmed down, their temper's considerably cooled since the day we had accidentally slept outside. Apart from the mutual hand jobs and the infrequent delights of frottage our sexual relationship hadn't progressed. Jesse was, on the other hand, becoming a master of kissing. When we were alone he kissed me in earth shattering life-changing ways that left my head spinning and I often wondered how I would survive much more of this treatment.

Jesse came out of his shell a little more every day, more honest to others, more open with Mina and Toman, Paul and Guy. The Jesse I saw was starting to appear to everyone else, and that I loved. Most nights he fell asleep before me, and I listened to the sound of his breathing, the calm evenness sending me off to sleep better than anything else could. He woke me thrice more in the night with shouts and screams, the sound of my name twisted in panic. We ran at night, ran until we were both dropping from exhaustion, and only then would he tell me what he saw.

Dreams that involved my image getting mixed up with his attacker had mostly dropped off, though they still made appearances. They were replaced, he told me, with dreams in which I was dead. Sometimes I was dead by his hand, sometimes it was unknown. He could never save me. The worst ones were where his attacker killed me, showing up in the most unlikely places; the school, my bedroom, the Priory hill, the coppiced trees in the paddock. I worried about him. But I made good on my promise to myself. I swallowed every horror, absorbed all the crap that his brain threw at us, and managed to keep going, to keep being there for him, and while I worried, I loved him more. I wanted him to talk to a professional, but since it became obvious that the conversation made him clam up quicker than charity and bankers, I dropped the idea. We ran so that Jesse slept better. I slept better because I was exhausted.

Half term began to creep around, along with our two month anniversary, and I decided that something a bit special was in order, so I began to make plans for the week, hoping to surprise Jesse with my thoughtfulness. And maybe neatness.

The last Friday of term was declared as an option subject day, and Jesse and I got a whole day in the art room. Which meant that we officially got to ditch our uniforms. Knowing I was going to be messy the whole day I choose my oldest most holey jeans and my favourite dark blue t-shirt, ill-fitting and blazoned with a graphic mountain. Jesse looked picture perfect, his hair gorgeous, turned out in crisp blue jeans a black vest-jumper over a white shirt. It was our day to finish our major pieces and Jesse set up his easel facing mine and we worked on Afterword. Jesse wouldn't let me see his piece, so I didn't let him see mine either. I sat with my sketch draped over my knees and used graphite to re-draw the shapes of my canvas.

Jesse handed me his earphones and I played with my brush selection while his choice of track fed into my brain. It surprised me that it wasn't one of mine.

'I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in/I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones/That I started looking for a warning sign/When the truth is/I miss you/Yeah the truth is/That I miss you so'

I scrawled on the back of my notebook.

I'm right here.

He smiled, something soft and enigmatic in his features and I so hoped I'd planned our weekend right. I turned back to my painting.

Blues, yellows, greens; white and deep cerulean. Afterword reminded me of Jesse, he was the eyes of friends, the twin with the gift for his brother. So I was painting my present to him. I hadn't travelled the world, hadn't headed out west and fetch up again, but when I looked at Jesse I felt my world fixed in his eyes, and too him, apparently I was special. So I painted.

I painted a vision of the world that I wanted to run through with Jesse. The sky was made of close interlocked and frenetically detailed patterns tiles, blocks of colour and abstract shapes, the sort of things that Islamic temple designs loved so much. Blues reflected the colour of the sea, the sky, Jesse's eyes when he smiled at me. I painted the land we ran over in fat interweaving lines of heavy pattern; darker blues and greeny greys, a fast wet brushstroke that looked like speed. Bright flashes of splotched acid green to show where we had stamped our feet. Between the tiled sky and the speeding ground were the picked out bright points of light that made up shapes: the sun on clouds, a ship in the far distance, two figures running. I drew us in dots of light, then took a needle, pierced the canvas a thousand times so when held up before a window the picture would be born a new. Here we were, two boys, slightly lost, and running.

We went to Toast with Mina and Toman to celebrate the arrival of the break and the wonder that a week off school brought. Nuka tackled me to the ground outside the shop, standing over my chest and happily licking away as though I hadn't had a bath in months. Patrons who knew us well enough to smile at giggled, strangers stared. Paul stuck his head out of the door and whistled.

"Afternoon gentlemen," he nodded to Mina, "Lady..." a smile, "Nuka get off him, I'm sure he's clean now."

We headed in only to find out usual table occupied, and sat ourselves along the seats at the bar. Nuka instantly put his front paws in my lap and rubbed his thick fur under my hands.

"What? No school uniforms today?"

"Art day," Jesse smiled, "Maxie sings when he paints."

"I do not!" I knuckled his shoulder, then took his hand, "Well sometimes. It's your fault for giving me your music."

"You gave me yours." Jesse kissed my knuckles, and it made my chest tight, the way he didn't even stop to think about being embarrassed.

"What did you guys do today?"

"Dance workshop," Mina swirled and chocolate swizzle-stick in her fingers and looked along the bar at me, "You got big plans for half term Maxie?"

Damn Mina and her unnerving ability to ask all the wrong questions. I managed a shrug and dug my fingers into Nuka's thick fur, pushing my hot chocolate away from his quivering damp nose.

"This and that." Paul arched an eyebrow at me and I blushed.


"Where are we going Maxie?" I could hear Jesse running his fingers over the wall. I closed my eyes and tried to feel those same fingers running over my skin. I shivered.

 
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