A Difficult Holiday

Sue Wharton was depressed. She would have said a curt and tearful:

"Of course I'm depressed. I've lost them all."

She took time, sitting, trying not to think and bring it all back. The strangest part of her day was the damn refrain from the song. It was an old song, she remembered, done back a number of years ago, she thought by Spike Jones. It was that Georgie Rock who sang it: 'All I Want For Christmas is my two front teeth... '

Now the song was haunting her, running through her mind and not leaving her alone: 'All I want for Christmas... ' And it always made her sigh and recognize the finish of the sentence: 'All I want for Christmas is to have them back'! That was her wish, her unfulfilled, unfulfillable wish! To have them back.

She would be speaking of course of Dan, her husband, gone these 5 years or so and now, now, everlastingly now Kenny, dead of a roadside bomb in Iraq! It was a message that she couldn't stand to have repeated but was aways in her heart, in her consciousness, in the back of her mind, never truly and fully going away, just always there! She felt at age 34 that the world had ended and she periodically just wanted to get off.

Now, with the Christmas season pressing in on her, she understood, clearly and well, the idea of people being depressed by the holidays, instead of enjoying them, instead of gathering with friends and family to celebrate.

"What is there to celebrate, with them both gone?" was the mantra of her holiday preparations, though she tried now and again to push it out of her mind and not let it so completely overwhelm her outlook and attitude.

One of the ways that she spent her days now was by some kinds of physical activity. Sue took care of herself still because it wasn't her way to just let herself go physically, even if the little voice within, that was even now in her mind berating the holidays, kept saying to her: 'They're gone, so what's the use of trying of all this exercising and working out?' The voice was there and insistent. Life was dull and gray, always dull and gray for her and neither tinsel or lights or exercising were going to change that for Sue Wharton right away.

She'd had had, this past year, of course, the official treatment from the government. They'd sent a representative Marine to talk to her and be with her during the whole of the grueling time up to and including the funeral. When it was over, when the kind Marine had gone, she put the things away: flag, letters, commendations. Those were likely the only Christmas gifts that she expected to receive, and what gifts they were: well meant but empty, at least empty for her. The idea of noble sacrifice might, one day, take hold of her mind but it wouldn't be this Christmas, of that she was certain. She didn't want to remember those things; she refused to remember him that way. She thought that she'd much rather remember maybe changing his diaper, curbing his periodic wildness, dealing with his teen aged shenanigans. Anything would do but the 'final things.'

If she were to give herself a Christmas gift this year, it would be remembering her Kenny as he was bathed in her love, as he grew and became the spectacular man that he was.

She carefully tucked the government stuff away, dealt with the finally decreasing number of people, who wanted to talk to her about it, commiserate, try to be helpful but who were just keeping her focused always on the depressing reality of it. She realized all the while that people had their own lives and even holiday preparations to see to. She was just as content to be alone with this huge gray cloud that was hovering around her and her life.

Slowly, during that time, gradually she started to settle down to a normal depression, or at least what she thought was a normal depression.

Then she got a note from Mike, Mike Lawler, Kenny's best Marine buddy. Her first reaction, strangely, was that the song was coming true: 'All I want for Christmas... ' This was a kind of voice from that past that she'd left lie, left buried and unattended.

It was certainly a kind of double edged thing. She was pleased to hear from Mike, of course, who simply seemed to fade at the same time that she'd lost her Kenny but hearing from him helped to sweep her up again into the middle of the whole event. The blackness came back all over again.

"No," she thought to herself, in the calm and shadows of the house, "This isn't the answer to the holiday jingle: 'All I want for Christmas is..."

She didn't want those kinds of memories back, not after spending the fall pushing them aside and making them only marginal, as marginal as her deep, deep pain would allow them to be.

But she discovered from Mike's letter that he too had been injured in the same explosion that had taken Kenny. He explained in the letter that he was in rehab, having lost both of his legs in the explosion, and the world was dark for her again.

At that point, Sue just put the letter down and cried. She cried and cried. First her darling Kenny and now his pal Mike: Mike without family or roots, who'd come home with Kenny and affectionately called her "Mom," Mike who was now maimed for life, or so it seemed.

There was no justice here, and precious little sense could be made of such sacrifices, at least she could find none. This was the bitterest answer to the holiday jingle about 'two front teeth' that she could possibly imagine.

In the letter, which, first time around, she could hardly read because of the effect of the tracks of her tears on her face, he apologized for not getting in touch with her sooner. He told her of his own process and where he was with the process. He said that he had been fitted with brand new metal legs, and was trying to learn how to use them but still had to use two canes to get around.

But the end of the letter was what got to her the most. At the very end, apologizing again for not having been in touch with her sooner, he told her that he was intending to come to see her soon, that he'd be released from the government hospital soon and would be coming. His idea was to be there and to give her a hug and wish her a Merry Christmas!

'Merry Christmas indeed!" she snorted. 'Merry Christmas' with my Kenny dead on a foreign field and you his best friend maimed for life!

She shut down her thinking immediately, not wanting to sink into that kind of bitterness, though it was always so close to the surface.

She sat then and thought. Her first reaction was that she didn't want to see him; she didn't think she could see him or would see him. It was her first resolve but it passed.

She sat, after her tears, and got 'tough' with herself, telling herself that 'of course you'll see him.'

And she gave herself a message: "He must be as hurt and aching about Kenny as you; so you'll see him, and try to make it a pleasant holiday visit with him. That's what you'll do, Sue Wharton, and no more sulking about with it either, not while Mike is here!"

She went to bed on that note, deciding to let the idea rest until the morning. In the morning the resolve was still there, she realized that she was still determined to see Mike, to have the visit. To at least get that last part of this over. She'd make that pleasant holiday for him, while he visited for a short time and then she could get on with her private grieving, then she could allow it to be dark and murky in her life again. But for a time, for Mike she'd get a grip on herself. It was her hard and fast decision.

Mike Visits

He came by taxi. She had been waiting, hovering, looking out the window, not knowing exactly how to expect him to get there. But then the taxi pulled up and the driver unloaded the bags. Mike stood there a little uncertainly with his two canes, and the old part of Sue went into action.

She bounded out the door, tears streaming down her face but calling out to him:

"Mike, sweetie!" and crying all the while. She got to him, making sure that she didn't knock him off of his unsteady feet and hugged him and held on, just held on.

He caressed the back of her head and let her cry in his arms. It took her a bit of time to settle down from the crying and she looked at him, blinking and said:

"I'm so sorry that I'm such a blubbering baby here."

"Don't you worry about that," he replied.

"Oh, my lovely, handsome Mike! What they've done to you! What those evil, evil people have done to you!" she whispered fiercely to him.

He held her still, and then, when she broke away from the hug, her eyes brightened and she smiled at him, a dazzling smile.

"Welcome, love," she said. "It's such a treat, such a treat! A true holiday treat!"

She turned and grabbed his bags, saying: "Here, I'll get these.' And she began to walk ahead of him toward the house.

(Sue's house was a lovely, big house. She and her Dan worked on building up a business, and then, when the business was built up, and a going concern, they built their big house. It was now way to big for her but it was certainly comfortable.)

"Just put them on the porch," Mike said, "After we visit for a bit, I'm going to ask you to call a cab to take me to a hotel."

Then the mother popped out in Sue:

"Nonsense, Mike," she said, "You're ... you're like one of my own. You'll stay right here, and no backtalk!"

Mike smiled at her and said a courteous: "Yes, ma'am."

Sue laughed then and said out loud, as though to the whole world:

"The Marine is polite! " And she laughed.

She got his stuff inside the house and took it off to the guest room for him, while he waited downstairs.

He was still waiting and standing downstairs, when she returned.

"Oh, Mike," she wailed, "I am so addle brained; sit down. Be comfortable; where in heck are my manners?"

He laughed and said: "It's no big thing Mrs Wharton."

She winced just a little at him calling her 'Mrs Wharton' but let it go.

Then they sat to talk. She fetched him a cup of coffee, that she brewed for him and then they talked.

She warned him that she was going to cry, and that he shouldn't mind that, since she cried a great deal these days anyway. Their talk was long, and parts of it, though she didn't want to hear these things, especially details, were things that she knew he needed to talk about, to tell her about, and so, she allowed it and took it all in, putting it, purposefully away in her usually locked mental"Kenny" room, there to simply remain hidden and not be brought out.

They ended the initial talking part of the visit with both of them grieving and holding each other on the couch. Their hug lasted long minutes and was interrupted by no words, no talking at all. The talking had been done, now was time for the holding.

She got some lunch then, making sure that it was comfortable food and favorite things. He smiled his way through lunch and told her how grateful he was for her care.

It made her sniffle again, and she apologized but he told her that there was no need for the apology.

"Well," she said to him, over the lunch table, "You've make this a much more merry Christmas for me, love!"

He smiled and was pleased.

"Do you feel up to helping me decorate a Christmas tree?" she asked next. "I wasn't going to bother but you're here and..." she hesitated but reached down inside herself for some courage and continued: "My Kenny loved the Christmas tree so!"

"That would be a true treat!" he said.

She hurried to clarify: "Honey, all you have to do is be my moral support. I'll do the hauling and gathering, and we'll make a little party of it."

"Sounds great by me," he said, "And I will love to help decorate!"

"Marvelous!" she said and the project was determined.

She got him another cup of coffee and went off to lug in, from the garage loft, the Christmas items, now seeming to be more special than before, since she had an object in mind: 'Taking care of Mike'. It was now her focus.

She got the tree all arranged in the normal corner of the room.

"It's where he always put it!" she said, tearing up, and pulling herself quickly back from that precipice.

"Then that's where it needs to be," he said.

He helped her then with the decorating of the tree. She kept an eye on him to make sure that he didn't have any problems, and they gradually got to enjoying the task, got wrapped up in it. It took them a while but looked fabulous, when they had it finished.

She went around the room then and put out the other decorations that were always a part of the way that she and Kenny decorated for the holiday and then it was to the kitchen for Christmas cookies.

When they were finished, it certainly looked festive.

"Oh, this is nice," Sue said, giving Mike a hug. "It's the first bit of holiday spirit that I've been able to muster. I've been so dreading these holidays and your visit has brought me out of myself and is making it such a treat!"

He smiled at her and thanked her for having him.

"Know what I'm going to do?" she said, continuing her building good mood, "I'm going to get all gussied up and take you to dinner. I'm going to show off my Marine to the locals. How about that?"

"Sounds like a plan," he said with a generous smile.

A Crisis And Passion Found

The crisis came then innocently and unexpected by either of them, both of them. After Sue told Mike that she was taking him out for dinner, a spiffy dinner, she said that, if he could follow her, she'd show him where his room was, and the bathroom.

He followed her and they went to where the room was, and his things were put on the bed. Then she showed him the bathroom and shower that was used by those guest rooms.

He got a worried look on his face, looking over the bathroom.

Looking up at him, she asked him:

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know..." he said hesitatingly, "I don't know if I can use that shower!"

"Oh dear," she exclaimed. "I'm so dumb sometimes, Mike. No, of course you can't; you'll have to use my bathroom. The master bath has a big shower with a seat in it. It will be perfect for you."

"If you don't mind terribly," he said then, "I've been traveling all day and really would like to shower and clean up before dinner."

"No problem," Sues said with a smile. "Let me show you where to go and all."

She led him to where her bedroom was with the master bathroom. He looked in at it and said:

"I think it will be fine."

He still had a major look of concern on his face, and she turned to him and said:

"Mike, we're like family here; tell me what it is, please." (She touched his arm as she spoke to him.)

"I might need some help; I just don't know. I'm getting used to these new pegs, but I'm not sure."

(When he said "pegs" he slapped his metal legs with his hand for emphasis.)

"Mike, don't you worry, I'll be around and help all that is needed."

He smiled and said thanks. Then he hurriedly went on to say to her:

"Oh, I will wear a bathing suit for the shower, in case you have to come in and help me out."

That struck Sue; she wasn't sure that it was right that he had to wear a bathing suit into a shower for himself. She let it go, however, at least for the moment.

She left him then to give him a chance to get ready for the shower. In a few minutes, he called out to her. She went in. He had detached his metal legs and they were in the corner. He himself, when she went into the bathroom, was sitting on that stool, that was built into one side of the large plexi shower stall. He had on a pair of 'Marine' bathing trunks that he was going to wear in the shower.

It seemed, right then, ridiculous to her that he had to do that, instead of being comfortable. She was thinking at that point like a mother and acted as she would have with her own Kenny.

"No, Mike," she said firmly, "This will never do."

She looked around a bit and said: "I'll come in there and help."

Then with a determined look on her face she stepped into the shower stall, and continued:

"And you can't take a shower with those trunks on; I know how uncomfortable that would be."

"But..." he said but she broke in and stopped him.

"Hush!" she said. "You're my Kenny's age and I'm that much older; I can help out here and I mean to."

"Okay," he said softly as she moved to where he was sitting.

He lifted himself by his arms and she was able to grasp the trunks and pull then down and off. Then she turned, trying to be business like through it all, and was going to reach for the single shower knob that controlled water and water heat.

"Damn!" she said, as much to herself as anyone else, and stepped out of the shower.

Mike just watched her.

She went at it with little thought to what she was doing, and working only on her agenda to get a 'boy of hers' showered, who was having trouble, Sue unbuttoned her house dress, that she been wearing, and that buttoned down the front.

Mike, in the shower on the seat, looked at her with large and wondering eyes, as she first stripped off the house coat and set it aside, and then took off her bra and deposited it on the chair in the bathroom where the house coat had been put.

She was left with a pair of pink, nylon panties. They were the kind that went all the way to the waist, and on Sue they looked, wonderful, even foxy. They also hid nothing at all, since they were of thin material, allowing the billowing curls of her dark pubic hair to push against the fabric and from the back the view that they gave of her ass cheeks was breathtaking.

Sue hadn't considered any of this. She only had the object in front of her to help him get this shower underway and done.

He was till staring at her near nakedness, when she entered the shower and looked at him. It was precisely then that it hit her the way that it had already hit him.

She looked him up and down and, gaping at him, said softly:

"Mike, you're beautiful! Just beautiful! Oh dear, oh dear!"

She turned quickly then to turn on the shower and got it to a good heat. It, of course, soaked her first, rendering the panties useless as any kind of protection from the eyes.

Mike simply looked at her, as she stood under the stream of water to get it ready. When it was ready, she turned to him. He got red in the face, since by now he had an erection that he had no way to hide.

"Oh dear!" she said again. "I never thought of that!" she continued.

"And ... uh ... your panties!" he said softly.

She glanced down at her panties now rendered completely transparent by the water, and she squeaked.

"What am I thinking!" she said, and then she looked at him with a shamed look on her face, and said:

"Yes, Mike, you might as well look; I have a big ass!"

She wasn't sure if she should or would head for the door of the stall or continue to help him, when he said:

"Mom, you have a perfect ass! Just perfect; that's the way it looks from where this Marine is sitting."

The kindness of his tone; the use of the word "Mom" did her in. She went to him and held him again, shaking with her crying again. He held her and rubbed her back. It only dawned on her slowly then that she was enjoying this fortuitous situation totally.

She got up and said: "Drat it; let me take these off."

She slipped the wet panties off and dropped them in the corner, and then seemed to make a decision. It was not one that she would ever have anticipated, or thought about, or planned but it certainly was what she did. With a thought about what she was going to do, she also turned off the water in the shower. She went to him, knelt down and put her arms around him again. But this time it was different.

"Mike, Mike, you are so handsome; so perfect!"

"Perfect?" he said wincing.

"Don't you deny it!" she said, her voice fierce and determined. "Right here and now you're mine and you're perfect."

His return to her then was:

"You're just the prettiest woman that I've seen."

She laughed then and said:

"And probably the first truly naked woman that you've seen in months or longer."

He smiled and said: "True, but it doesn't matter; you are so much beyond gorgeous.!"

She put her face against his shoulder then and said to him softly:

"Mike, I need to tell you that I didn't plan this; I had no grand seduction in mind here, I really didn't."

"I know that," he said and then felt her hand wrap itself around his swollen cock. "But I don't know what to call you; 'Mom' comes easiest to my mind but it doesn't seem to fit the circumstances."

"Mom is just right, and the circumstances are ours," she replied and the, after a second or two of thought added, with a new earnestness in her voice and a look of concern on her face:

"Honey, please let me do this; I need you to believe that I never planned this; I haven't been out to seduce my Kenny's best friend. Please believe that. But I also want you to know that I don't want to run away from it. Please."

His answer came in both a kiss and the caressing of her ass cheek with his hand.

"Mom, so fine, so wonderful, woman! Don't know what's thrown us together like this but here we are and what''ll we do now?" he crooned at her. "And you don't mind this?" he asked indicating his stumps of legs.

"Don't think it or anything like it," she said, placing a finger on his lips and kissing him right after wards, opening her mouth and letting his tongue into her mouth and so that it mingled with her own tongue.

She sighed and said: "It's been ever so long a time for me, ever so long."

"Well, I can say 'yes' to that," he said. "Hardly any time with all the goings on where we were."

At that instant she decided to take over.

"Then let me do this," she said, now in a low voice that gave Mike shivers. "First time will be quick."

"Quick," he said.

"In my mouth," she continued.

"Ohhhh," he drawled, his erection getting harder at the thought.

Then she lowered her head and kissed the head of his erection. When she'd done that much, she looked up at him and smiled a broad smile. His erection bobbed up and down involuntarily. It made her giggle.

"It's like he's greeting me!" she said, her giggle continuing.

His answer was to simply lean his head back against the plexi of the shower stall, while she moved her hands to his waist and pushed her head down farther onto him. She loved the soft hardness of it. She licked her way around the head and sucked on the head with force.

He moaned.

She continued and plunged her head onto it, so that most of it was now in her mouth. Then she let her lips creep their way down so that she was kissing his pubic hair.

His moan was louder. She began a short time of alternating the licking and sucking about the head with her plunging her mouth down to encompass all of the erection.

With almost no warning, he came with a rush. Sue swallowed as much of his coming load as she could, and even so some of it ran down her chin. She wiped it off with a finger and then licked the finger, as a wicked grin encased her face.

He didn't quite know what to do next. She did. She pulled his penis back into her mouth and sucked on it again until it was hard once more. She stood and said, with some concern:

"I don't want to hurt you now."

"Mom, they're fine," he assured her, as she backed up to him and began to sit down in his lap directly on his erection.

He spread his legs to accommodate her, and slid himself into her pussy.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," she said, the sound wooshing out of her. Then again:

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh! How wonderful! How wonderful you feel! How wonderful!" she kept gushing.

He reached his hands around to the front of her and pinched and pulled at her nipples, causing more loud noises from her.

She worked now at moving her hips up and down on his erection. She did it slowly but continually and was able to bring him to another orgasm, just before her own exploded.

Then she turned around to face him; he was grinning from ear to ear, as she kissed him. Then she said:

"Now I'm going to wash you."

"Good," he said, smiling, "Mom is going to give me a bath now."

"Yep," she said, "All part of the full service given to our national heroes."

When the shower was finished, she watched with a bit of amazement as he hauled himself around and began to get dressed for their dinner out. She helped him as she could but was constantly aware of his being able to do things for himself. She also was awed by the apparent strength in his arms and hands.

He watched her a bit, with a smile on his face, as she donned a pair of black stretch lace panties, thigh highs and a black lacy bra. She smiled at him, once she knew that he was watching her so intently.

"Does the sergeant like what he sees?" she wanted to know, in a coy fashion.

"The sergeant definitely likes what he sees," he said appreciatively.

He was seated on the bed at one point, and had just finished the process of putting his new prosthetic legs on, when she went to him, enfolding him in her arms.

"Mike, Mike," she crooned at him, "There's no pity here but it makes me so sad that they've done this to my Mike, my lovely one!"

He held her then in his arms, which were tight around her waist. She reached back and took one of his hands and pushed it down so that it was resting on her ass cheeks.

"The lady's forward!" he quipped.

"The lady's been without a gorgeous man like her Mike for a long, long time and needs to make up some time before he gets away from her," she answered, punctuating her declaration with a kiss.

Then he got into his uniform pants and she put on a simple black dress, one that accentuated her figure very nicely.

She stood back from him a bit, once he was all dressed in his dress blues.

"Oh, how wonderful! How handsome my man is!"she gushed at him.

Then she became serious and said:

"Mike I know that the way I've been acting is kind of a shock; it's kind of that way to me too and I want you to know that nothing that I've done or will do is meant to make any kind of claim at all. I appreciate our time here, and having you here to love just for now is such a treat for me."

"Hush now, woman," he said, putting a finger on her lips, which she drew into her mouth and sucked on, with a grin, right away.

"You don't need to say those things at all; we are who we are right now here for each other and that's just fine. How about if I take my girl out for dinner?"

"Oh what a treat that will be! Out on the arm of a handsome Marine!" she said. "It fairly gives me the shivers." Then she stood off from him a bit and twirled, after she put her heels on. "How do I look?"

"First answer is the polite answer," he said. "Lovely beyond lovely."

"And the not so polite answer?" she inquired, putting her arms around his neck.

"Like eating stuff!" he said, and she squealed and hid her face in his neck saying:

"Wonderful, wonderful!"

She got serious again then and said: "Oh, Mike, I know that I'm a lot older than you are, honey; I don't forget that!"

"Enough," he said to her; "We're together here and that's what is important. It's time for our night out. Ready?"

"Ready, Marine!" she said leading him out of the bedroom.

Dinner was an unqualified success. The place they ate was one where she was known. It was a popular local steak house. Once they were settled, Sue was aware that everyone was whispering and talking about them.

It was then that the owner came to her and politely asked her to stand and introduce him to the room full of people.

Sue stood and gathered her wits about her for a moment or two and said:

"Friends, this is Gunnery Sergeant Mike Lawler; he was my Kenny's best friend in the Marine Corps. Mike was injured, losing his legs..." here she had to stop for a few moments to compose herself, and it was a quiet as a church in the restaurant, as she began to speak again:

"Mike lost his legs to the same roadside bomb that killed my Kenny. Mike is just out of a rehab hospital and came to spend the Christmas holidays with me."

She did so with tears on her cheeks and in her eyes.

The patrons stood and applauded for him, and many of them, as they left passed the table to greet both of them.

After Sue's introduction, the owner, Charlie Simms, it was 'Charlie's Steak House', where they were eating, came to shake hands with Mike.

"Gunny," he began, "Second Marines in Nam." With that he stuck out his hand to shake Mike's hand.

"Your money's no good here, Gunny," he went on. "We take care of our nation's heroes here!"

Mike stood and shook Charlie Simms' hand and there was another round of applause from the patrons.