Hercules sat at the bar of the cheapest saloon in the town of Analopolis. Hercules could have afforded a fancier watering hole, but he was more likely to meet a friend or to see something interesting at a place like this, so this was the kind of place where he went for his daily dose of dragon juice. Ah, just as predicted, a friend walked in.
"Ho, Jerkolo! Come join me for a delicious draft of whatever this piss is that I am drinking."
"Well met, Hercules! I haven't seen you for some time. Where have you been keeping yourself?"
"Oh, around and about. I've been looking for adventure, but it has been hard to find of late. However, I have found that a little patience will solve that problem."
"By Jove, Hercules! Does that magnificent sword leaning against the bar belong to you?"
"Yes, it is mine, Jerkolo. Would you like to hear of how I came to own it?"
"Oh, yes. Such a superior weapon must have a grand story behind it. Does the sword yet have a name?"
"Yes, I call it HAK for short. That stands for 'Hunter and Killer.' As you can see, it is nominally a two-handed sword, and that makes it perfect for me to use with one hand. It has many unique properties, but the most important is that I can throw it at an enemy or group of enemies and stand back to watch it hack its way through them without me touching it. That has already saved me some trouble, starting from the moment I acquired it."
"Come, now, tell me that story. In exchange, the drinks are on me until the story is finished!"
"Well, my friend Jerkolo, I could not ask for a better exchange!
"The story starts about seven months ago after I had finished my last labor that involved holding up the sky while Atlas took a break. I'm sure that you have heard that story, so I won't bore you with repeating it now. However, I was so glad to escape from Atlas that I stopped off at the first bar I came to for a little drink in celebration.
"Well, you know me. I can't have just one drink. By the time I left that bar, I think that I had drunk it dry. Anyway, I stumbled out of the saloon and started walking. I was so woozy that I have no idea which way I headed: I may even have walked in a circle. In any case, I was so sleepy that I fell into the first stack of hay that I came to and settled in to sleep off the effects of too much alcohol.
"Eventually, I woke up, I was sporting a hangover of monumental proportions. I got to my feet, somehow, and wandered away from the hay stack to try to find something to quiet the headache from the hangover. Again, I have no idea where I wandered nor for how long, but I finally began to come to my senses. That was when I realized that I was meandering through a forest.
"Well, it won't surprise you to hear that I was still not too alert, so I stumbled into a trap. It was a pit with sharpened stakes at the bottom, and I fell on those stakes. That was to my advantage, because they could not penetrate the Nemean Lion skin that I habitually wear, and the breaking stakes actually cushioned my fall. I don't know how long I lay there, but it was so comfortable that I went to sleep again.
"This time, when I woke up, I found myself in a cage barely large enough to hold me. I was naked, and I was really pissed off to have lost my Nemean Lion skin. I began to shake the door of the cage in an effort to open it when I heard a woman's voice thunder through the cave where my cage was suspended from the roof: 'Be careful, Man. If you break the cage, you will fall to the floor and be killed. What is your name, so that I will know who it is that I am to mate with?'
"This was a startling pronouncement, both as to its content and its source. I did stop shaking the cage door in response to that good advice. I answered with, 'I am Hercules, son of Jupiter. What do you mean by mating with you?'
"The woman speaking was a giantess of enormous size. She was so tall that she had to bend over to keep from bumping her head on the ceiling. Her massive tits were hanging just before my face, so there was no doubt that she was female. She said, 'My name is Titmost, and I am the last of my kind. I must find a man to mate with so that my race can continue. I have heard of you, Hercules, and I hope that your performance as a fucker can match the size of the cock I see hanging before me. My race is called The Race of the Maximae Vulvae (Largest Pussy), and the men were as big as the women. All of the men of my race are dead, and I have never had a good fuck!'
"Titmost continued, 'I have been trying out men of your race to see if they could trigger a baby in me, but so far all have failed. You can see their bones on the floor of my cave. I will treat you the same way I treated them if you fail to please me. I killed them and used their bodies in my stew. Hopefully, for your sake and mine, you can do more than they could!'
"Titmost, I can see that you are aptly named, for jugs that size must be able to hold gallons of milk. My cock may not be as large as your men had, but I have never left a woman dissatisfied. Release me from this cage and lie down on the floor so that I may reach your cunt. You will have to spread your legs to allow me to reach you.
"She said, 'All of the other men have climbed up on my thighs, but you plan to reach me while standing on the floor. What a novel idea! Very well, I will do as you ask.' Titmost took me from the cage and had me stand in a corner while she prepared herself. She was wearing only a skirt, so it took just moments for her to remove that, and I was presented with the sight of a pussy larger than a barn door. No wonder she could not find a man to satisfy her. Even my cock at 12 inches long and three inches in diameter was not going to make much of an impression; therefore, unusual tactics were in order.
.... There is more of this story ...