The Confessions of a Vengeful Teenager

Dear Ezra,

I got your letter. Dad found out about our liaison and went mental at your mum last week and me. I think your brother probably told him and I have been grounded, it is so unfair. He just said if he ever catches you he will tear your balls off but he doesn't know I am writing to you. Mum already knew. She came home early that day, heard us and then left for half-an-hour so she didn't interrupt. Parents are so deceitful.

Because of Dad, please try and post any replies in a town that isn't Bolton or else if he sees the postmark he will know. I have a couple of pen friends from Guide Camps so it won't be too bad if the letters come from another town, and I usually get the post before he does.

I have so much to tell you. You did make me promise to tell you what goes on, 'round here.

Our school was shut for a few days at the start of term. You know someone got in over the holidays and turned the taps on in the lab and toilets? After they cleaned that up, they found a huge crack in the wall and the builder guys wouldn't promise the school it wouldn't fall down without a survey so we all had a few extra days holiday. Mrs Droney was very angry about it, it wasn't anything to do with you, was it? I bet it was!

Beth was arrested a few days ago. She is an old girlfriend, isn't she? Or were you just her dealer? She was caught at a dealers' apartment going down on a guy and had some weed in her bag. Her brother told his class about it, and now everyone knows.

Also have you spoken to Maria? She was properly upset. She did some videos for her boyfriend of her wearing very little and the bastard only went and showed them round the school. She went mental at her boyfriend and tried to stab him apparently with a compass. I am not sure how much you know but Maria got suspended for it and your mum was very pissed off.

Also Mum said something about your mum. They got burgled but the insurance company is refusing to pay out as they can't find any forced entry. Mum said your mum was in tears in her garden but I wasn't here. That wasn't you was it?

Dave and I tried to make up, but I found out that he had been dating Beth so I told him to get lost. He had really upset me but he begged me for another chance so we are off to the pictures on Friday. I haven't told him about us just yet but I will do. I don't know how he will take it as you two always hated each other, but if he wants us to get back together he will need to accept it.

You said you have met a girl, when are you going to ask her out? I know what you are like, but don't forget you made me some promises. Just because you do not live around the corner, doesn't mean you can break them!

Mum said I could travel to Manchester to meet up with you. She and I had a chat a few days ago and she wanted to know how I lost my cherry. I told her and she said you sounded gentle and thoughtful. No-one has ever told me that you are thoughtful! Why are you only nice with me?! I won't go into details but so many of my friends hated their first time, so you must have been very gentle.

Look after yourself and let me know what Bolton is like. We must meet up in Manchester some time, Mum said I could go if Dad doesn't find out!

I miss you too.

Lots of love,

Lydia

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

P.S. Been here sixteen years and not been arrested once!