Chapter 4

~Ben~

I froze when Lila told me she wanted to move out. I had lost my appetite and wanted to go after her but she'd only push me away. I threw my sandwich in the trash and went to my room.

I paced the room and figured out what to say to Lila to keep her from moving out. I knew she'd move out, When Lila said she wanted to do something she usually went through with it.

I couldn't lie to her and say I no longer had feelings for her. Then again I couldn't go on pretending that it's ok to see her with Gary or pretend that I actually had feelings for Flanna.

So what the hell was I supposed to do?

~Lila~

I started packing my clothes after sobbing for a couple of minutes. I planned to go back to my parents and just tell them that Ben and I fought a lot and the whole living together situation was not going to work.

I packed just a few items of clothing and then would eventually take all of my things little by little. I couldn't live this way anymore. I couldn't be comfortable kissing Gary knowing Ben was watching. Knowing how he felt about me. I couldn't watch Ben kissing Flanna with these feelings that had become stronger.

I called my mom up to let her know I was on my way.

"What do you mean you want to move out? What is so bad that you have to move out?" My mom's voice boomed through my phone.

"Mom, it's just that we don't get along ok? We fight like crazy. I need to go back home at least for a few weeks until I can get another place of my own."

I heard my mom sigh. "Lila, your father and I cannot afford to be paying two rents. We got you and your brother an apartment so you can live together and learn to become responsible adults by being on your own. We have to talk about this first as a family. Let's all go out to eat tomorrow night and we can discuss this like adults."

I didn't want to discuss anything. I was through talking about all of this. How in the hell was I going to tell my folks the real reason I wanted to move out was because of what happened between Ben and I?

"But mom..."I whined.

"No but mom me. We talk about it first and if we decide that there is a valid reason for you to move out then you can come stay here."

I clenched my teeth. "Ok mom, fine. What restaurant are we meeting at?"

Later that evening, Gary called me to let me know he got back to school safely. I told him the situation with me wanting to move out and he too was against it. I'm sure if I told him the real reason why, he'd be all for it.

"Babe why do you want to go back home? I mean you won't have as much freedom. You know when I come visit you we won't be able to get all jiggy with it."

I rolled my eyes. "Gary, you have to understand that Ben and I have been fighting a lot lately. We are just getting on each other's nerves. I need to move out of here."

"Why don't you go live with Flanna?" Gary suggested.

I cringed. "No thank you. Ben is dating her remember? He'll be hanging around the apartment and we'll fight there too."

"I wish I could go live with you babe. Why don't you see if you can transfer over here next semester? With your grades I'm sure you could probably even get a scholarship."

"Gary you know it's too late to apply for a scholarship now for next semester. I could probably do it next fall but not now. I really need to move out."

"Oh ok babe. Whatever you feel is better for you. Just chat with your folks first. See what you all can work out."

"Yeah I will. Thanks for listening to me," I whispered into the phone. "I love you..." When I said those words, they just didn't come out naturally like they once did.

~Ben~

I had just taken a shower and was exiting the bathroom, when Lila came out of her room. I wore only a pair of boxer shorts and nothing else. In the past I had done this and it was nothing but now...

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," she fidgeted. "Um mom and dad want to have dinner with us tomorrow night."

"Oh ... why?" I wondered.

"I told them about me wanting to move out and they feel we should discuss this as a family," she said averting her eyes away from my half naked body.

"What are you going to explain to them Lila?"

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean what am I going to explain to them? Don't you have something to do with this too?"

I crossed my arms. "I could tell them the truth but you wouldn't want that would you?"

She pursed her lips. "No I'm not going to tell them I want to move out because you're a big pervert! I'm going to just tell them that you and I fight a lot over stupid things! That we fight almost every day!"

I laughed. "Ok ... if that's what you want to tell them I'll play along."

"You better not tell them anything about your so called feelings Ben! I swear if you do..."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "If I do what?"

"I won't talk to you for the rest of my life!" She snapped.

My heart hurt hearing her say that. "Fine ... I won't say anything. I'll just go along with whatever you say. I wouldn't want you not talking to me. You know how much I love you."

I saw her begin to move away from me. "Well, dinner tomorrow night at seven at Landyr's. Be ready. I'll go in my car and you can go in your own car," she said and went back to her room.

~Lila~

The next day I went to class but I couldn't get Ben out of my mind. I had said some really cruel things to my brother who I loved dearly but damnit why couldn't he understand that I was his sister not some girl he could just fall in love with?

After my last class for the day, I had planned to go back to the apartment to shower and take a nap. I was walking to my car when I heard Flanna's voice.

"Hey Lila!" She called out. I turned to see her running towards me. She wore snug blue jeans and black tank top. Her wild hair was pinned up in a bun.

"Hey Flanna," I said casually.

"Hey, oh my god! I talked to Ben earlier today he said you want to move out?"

I nod. "Yup you heard right."

Her eyes widened. "Oh my god. That sucks Lila. He told me you guys had been fighting a lot lately. I mean just a few weeks ago you told me such great things about Ben like how he was nice and stuff and now you guys are fighting?"

I shrugged. "Yeah well, things changed I guess." Yeah they changed right after I kissed him when I was drunk and right after he kissed me once I was sober. I wanted to say that to Flanna, but I didn't.

"Well he says he's going to need a roommate and asked me if I wanted to be his next roommate can you believe that? I mean, god I really like your brother! I can't believe he wants to live with me!" She gushed.

I felt my blood boiling. "He wants you to move in with him?"

She nodded happily.

I clenched one book that I held in my hand tight. "I have to get going Flanna. I'll call you later ok?"

She agreed and went off her own way. I was livid! I was beyond livid. I hadn't even moved out and right away Ben was looking for a roommate? Not to mention a female roommate?

I drove home fast and really pissed off. When I got there, Ben was in his room. I dropped my backpack and book on the couch and went straight to his door and banged hard.

"Hey!" He snapped at me. "What's your problem?"

I glared at him. "You asked Flanna to be your roommate?"

He nodded. "Yeah. So?"

"So? She's a female!"

He looked at me strangely. "Uh ... yes I know she's a female. So are you."

"Yeah, but she's not related to you."

"True, but I have crushes on people related to me remember?" He answered sarcastically.

"Ben! Stop it! Why are you being such a jerk?"

He was taken back. "Me? A jerk?" How am I being a jerk? I'm just looking for a roommate Lila. Why do you care so much that it's Flanna. Don't you just want to move out of here right away?"

"You don't even wait for me to move do you? You just want to shack up with my friend as soon as possible don't you?"

He eyed me intensely. "Again ... I want to know why is that such a big deal to you? Are you jealous?"

I laughed. "Jealous? Of what?"

"Of Flanna moving in here with me. Are you jealous that she and I might become lovers? Would that bother you sis?"

"I told you already to stop saying things like that to me!" I yelled. "I really don't care who you fuck or who you live with. Live with Flanna or whoever you want to live with. I don't care! I might move in with Gary next fall. How about that?"

Ben's face softened. "I'll miss you if you leave you know that. I don't want you to leave but I guess since you can't admit how you feel then you will do what you have to do and I will do what I have to do."

"I'm so glad to be moving out! I won't have to deal with your perverted crap anymore!" I yelled and went to my room slamming the door super hard!

~Ben~

My mom called me to confirm that I would be making it to dinner that evening. I told her I would and she kept trying to ask me why Lila wanted to move out so fast. I simply told her that Lila and I didn't get along anymore. I told her we fought over who does the laundry and who cleans up and etc.

My mom said she didn't want Lila to move out. I told her that I was looking into getting another roommate. She wasn't too happy about that either.

"Ben, a new roommate is not a good idea. First of all you don't know if he's going to pay rent or maybe he'll do drugs."

"What if he is a she?" I asked curiously.

I heard my mom sigh."Ben you want to live with another female? Is it a girlfriend of yours?"

"Nope. She's actually Lila's friend. Her name is Flanna and she said she'd be happy to move in whenever. The apartments where she lives currently do not have a lease agreement."

"Well ... we'll talk about all of this tonight. You and your sister need to make up and work things out."

Yeah ... if only it were that easy mom, I wanted to say but I didn't.

I was dressed and ready to go by six thirty. Lila was barely taking a shower. I decided to leave ahead of time to get to the restaurant early and I knew my parents would be there early too.

I arrived fifteen minutes until seven and sure enough my folks were already at a table sipping iced tea. I spotted my mom right away. She waved to me and stood up to hug me. My father followed in greeting me.

"My, my, don't you look so handsome," my mom gushed. "It's so good to see you Ben."

"Thanks mom, nice to see both of you," I said and took a seat next to my dad.

"Where is your sister? I thought she'd be right behind you?" My mom asked.

"She'll be late I'm sure. She was barely taking a shower when I left."

My mom eyed me. "So what's the problem you two are having?"

I was about to answer, when the waitress came over to take my drink order. I ordered just water. "I'll let Lila tell you, mom."

My dad sighed. "You two have fought before but always made up and got over it. I don't know why you can't do that now."

We sat uncomfortably few a few minutes and Lila finally showed up. She wore a spaghetti strap dark blue dress and black heels. I had to admit she looked breathtaking. Her dark silky hair was loose.

"Hey mom, dad, sorry I'm late," Lila said breathlessly as she greeted our parents.

"Hi Lila," I said trying to be polite.

"Hey," she said curtly and sat down between me and my mom.

"Mom, you look totally pretty tonight, did you dye your hair?" Lila asked cheerfully.

"Lila, we are not here to talk about my hair," my mom stressed.

Lila sunk down on her chair slightly. The waitress came over to take her drink. As always she ordered a diet Coke.

"What's going on Lila? Why do you all of a sudden want to move out?" My father asked sternly.

I watched my sister trying to lie. She was always such a terrible liar. At least I could always tell when she was lying.