Chapter 10

Stupidity has saved many a man from insanity.

Mina didn't come home Saturday night. Good deal for Mina. Good deal for Bill.

It was a good deal for Mina because she spent all of Sunday early morning, after Midnight Saturday, and all of Sunday wrapped in the multiple arms of Lesbos.

It was a good deal for Bill because the 'entertainer' from across the street ... she of the itchy cooter, came Trick or Treating just as Carl turned out the garage light.

"I come to turn a trick on that treat I've been seeing in your pants, Bill. Go away, Carl."

She said, "I want to see if seventeen is everything I remember it was in Highschool. Go away, Carl. No, Carl, I don't want to pull a double."

Bill would have to be incredibly insane to turn down an offer like that. He was stupid to accept it. But he didn't know it ... yet.

She was everything Mina wasn't. Crass, uneducated, unsophisticated, and bordering on the high side of 'Special Ed' and the low side of 'Student Body' all through school ... she did manage to walk the walk to the podium and graduate, however many nerds, geeks and teachers she had to 'impress' to get there. A couple of times she impressed an "A."

The lights in her eyes sparkled with the sun ... shining through the back of her head...

To darken her mood ... put a hat on her...

She's the vacuum chamber in a wind tunnel.

Throughout history, she inspired the best blond jokes ever told ... and she was a brunette.

DD ... not DeeDee ... DD. DD was so dumb if her name had had ONE more letter, she couldn't spell it.

"Your name is DD? Spell it." The inevitable answer to the question, was "i-t."

Air head implies something in there.

"Come one come all, see the Last Wonder of the World ... Shake her, Boys. she rattles."

In future years, she would be the child left behind in an educational system based on Everyone passing.

Not that it was all bad. No, She was 'easy' in Junior High. She was the 'Sure Thing' in High School. The cherries she gathered would fill an orchard.

How do you like your sex?

A. Oral?

B. Anal?

C. Vaginal?

In the test of life, she was - D. All the above.

She had one redeeming factor. She could count back change.

She didn't have to look at the display on the register: Fountain Soda... 59. Hand her a dollar and she would dive into the till and come out with forty one cents "Soda 59 cents and a penny makes 60, a dime makes 70, a nickel makes 75 and a quarter makes a dollar. Forty one cents is your change, sir. Come again" But don't try to talk to her while she's counting. She'll start over.

After a month at the Seven Eleven, she turned 19, and got a real job.

Pole Dancer. (not a redeeming factor ... ask the Baptists.)

Amarillo didn't have nudie bars ... but a low cut thong hiding a shaved peach isn't nude ... almost ... but not nude. With DD, nude wouldn't be as sexy as a thong. She could slide that satin thonged cooter down that polished brass pole and leave a wet streak. Nude ... she'd have stuck.

When she bent over and licked that wet streak off the pole? Pandemonium.

DD had a set of C's. She could make the left nipple circle clockwise and the right nipple circle counter clockwise. She could not move an inch and her left breast would bounce up while her right one would bounce down..."Wipe Out" was the final number in her evening set. Most men had to visit the mens room after she finished.

The first full week she made Forty-Five Thousand Dollars and went from "Amateur Night Sensation" at the bottom of the Billboard to "DD ... The Reason you Came" at the top.

Oddly enough, the 'BRASS KITTY' Gentleman's Club was closed every October 31st and April 30th.

Half the dancers were celebrating Samhain in October and Beltane in April. Not DD, religion scared her. The Mormon Elders who had gang-raped her when she forgot and answered the door in her altogether soured DD on religion. Maybe if they had quit the religious spiel while they were doing both ends ... but calling on their god in the middle of the hot blast in mouth and pussy frightened her half to death.