Chapter 1

My name is Trevor and it was the summer of my sixteenth year and to mark the coming of age, hallmark event, my parents wanted to buy me a used car. Being an avid camper, I saw the opportunity to ditch the pup tent and get myself a van to fix up. No more relying on friends with cars to transport me and my gear on our frequent weekend outings, a dual purpose venture, a mode of transportation and comfortable sleeping accommodation.

My mother was dead set against it, referring to a camper van as a "teenage mobile brothel" and that no parent with any morals would allow their daughter to date a boy in possession of one! She needn't have worried, because van or no van, no girl wanted to date me anyway. I felt awkward and tongue-tied around the fairer sex and I wasn't anything close to being a jock, apparently a prerequisite where I went to school.

However, my father was all for it and together we convinced a reluctant mom that I wouldn't turn into a whore monger. I truly believe that dad was reliving the seventies, an era when he claimed all his friends owned a "shag van," a floor to ceiling, long-pile carpet interior, but he never afforded himself one, being a contributing bread winner in a large family with a harried, widowed mother and five younger siblings.

Together, dad and I transformed the metal ribbed whale's carcass into into a very decent, practical mini home away from home. A standard grade, floor to ceiling carpet for insulating purpose, a small fridge, sink and propane stove adorned the rear end with ample overhead cupboard space. Two bench seats each folded out to form a single bunk, or jointly assembled, a double size bed the width of the van. As a space saving measure, I opted for two aluminum folding TV tables rather than one of those cumbersome table tops that mount on a metal pole and a bitch to store when not in use. A bathroom was not a luxury that the confined space would allow, after all, that's why God invented trees and outhouses!

Her maiden voyage into the great outdoors was to be a week away. Two seventeen-year old friends Mike and Tim, along with their girlfriends, whom were to be secreted away, were headed to a public campground fifty miles north of town for the July long weekend.

Mike was probably my closest friend even though we were a year and grade apart. We lived next door to each other for three years since my family moved from another city. Naturally, his friends became mine, and Tim who was Mike's best friend since kindergarten, adopted me into their friendship.

Mike had a cousin named Seth, also seventeen, whom I had met several times at Mike's house during their frequent family get togethers or the occasional party thrown at some other kids house in the absence of parents. Seth never hung around us, per se, he lived across town but once he got his own wheels he became a little more visible at Mike's place.

Seth became the object of my jerk off fantasies, dirty blond hair, green eyes and never ceasing smile. Not overly muscular, but his physique attested to his love of swimming, earning him multiple medals in racing. He filled out the Speedo swim suit handsomely that he wore to swim in Mike's backyard pool. A thin treasure trail of hair traveled from his navel to depths unknown, only imaginable judging by the outline of manhood shrink wrapped in the thin material when wet. He was definitely circumcised, that much was clearly definable.

The realization that I was attracted to other boys began to show it's ugliness during first year junior high gym showers. My masturbation fantasies of ravaging Debbie Miller began to shamefully veer away to the lurid thoughts of first, wonderment of what some of my shower mates would look like erect, then illusions of mutual masturbation, and finally, but incomprehensibly, sucking their cocks! As much as I tried to focus on Debbie my mind would inevitably wander to boys and orgasm in record time.

It became worrisome, self denial became self loathing. Mike and Tim began to be co-stars in my pornographic imagination that was being rewound and replayed time after disgraceful time in my sick mind, followed by the gut wrenching remorse after each powerful orgasm and vowing to never think those kind of thoughts again. To appease my inner conscience, I began to fantasize about fucking the shit out of Debbie while sucking the fuck juices out of a guy, convincing myself that all wasn't a lost hope, perhaps I was simply bisexual. That had to be it! Nothing to brag about mind you, but I would leave out that part of the equation when sitting around with the guys discussing what girl each of us desired and what we'd do with them.

Mike and Tim had became sexually active at sixteen, but I was no where near even getting to first base! First of all you had to have an interest, and that interest was wearing thinner each day. Their girlfriends tried to set me up with a few of their friends, but no girl wanted to date guys a year and grade their junior and with the older crowd I ran with, it only left me feeling inept, but a very plausible excuse in remaining single to my peers, nonetheless!

As a third wheel, I started seeing less and less of my two friends whom were absorbed in the masculine sport of fucking their women. So when the idea of a camping trip was put forth, I looked forward to being with them again despite what I knew would be interrupted male bonding in the company of females, unlike our previous trips together.

Seth overheard us talking about our plans and wanted to join us, but wondering where he could borrow a tent and sleeping bag. As if Mike read my mind, he suggested that Seth could crash with me in the van. I tried desperately to be nonchalant about the proposal, when in actuality, I wanted to jump up and down and clap my hands for two reasons. One, I wouldn't be the odd man out and, two, being in Seth's company was intriguing to say the least!

I wasn't foolish enough to think anything carnal would develop, or make illicit advances of that nature. I wasn't only closeted, I was fucking warehoused and in no way was I prepared to jeopardize my reputation. Although I would be lying if I said that I didn't rack my brain conniving various ambiguous mental scenarios to test the waters. Innuendos that could be laughed off if I didn't get the desired response or just a hint of receptiveness that I could find the courage to take a more suggestive approach. I was dreaming, not a chance in hell would that Adonis entertain the thought of getting it on with another guy. However, maybe one sided, no reciprocation necessary, I would gladly become his personal cock-sucker if those terms were agreed upon. But how does one go about laying the ground work to even begin negotiations. (My dad was a lawyer, forgive my legal jargon)

Long weekend campground sites were at a premium, if we wanted a prime beach front location we would have to make the short journey on Thursday before the weekend rush. Seth was unable to make it due to work, but would meet us around noon Friday. My van weighted down by coolers of beer, I blazed the trail with the guys and girls in hot pursuit.

As anticipated, I sat alone by the fire most of that night as Mike and Tim tested and retested the manufacturers guarantee of reliability of their respective air mattresses. I could hear their carnal delights and managed to catch glimpses of silhouettes through the thin nylon being illuminated by interior lanterns. At one point, it was very obvious that Tim was getting a blow job from Tammy. It wasn't my imagination that I could see his shadowed rod being mouth pistoned, making me very envious of her good fortune. Under a blanket, I jerked off watching the action merely five feet away.

Then there was Mike, exiting his tent fully naked without a care in the world and what I guessed would be in a half mast state. He took a piss on a tree, grabbed a couple of beer and acknowledged me for a few moments before making his way back inside to Marnie with slightly less the endowment being sported, but quite impressive, nonetheless! I had seen my friends naked a few times in the past, quick changes into and out of swim suits and such. Those kind of situations where any normal, self respecting guy finds himself in the immodest company of other males but doesn't stop to stare, only perhaps a fleeting glance for curiosity and comparison reasons. That's how I reckoned with my own public nudity in school, I measured up, if not exceeding some other boys my age.

Maybe it was the beer that made me ogle Mike's junk hanging at almost eye level and way closer than I had ever observed him before. It was a very hot, humid night and he appeared even sexier standing there, his sweaty body glistening from the flames of the fire. I had to tear my eyes away in shame before he became suspicious, if he wasn't already, which may have caused his rather abrupt departure. I knew then that my urges couldn't be suppressed, I was starting to make dangerous mistakes. I would take my own life if anyone found out about my deviancy. That, I was as certain about as the day I was born into this miserable, unnatural existence!

Mistake number two. When Seth hadn't arrived on schedule at noon Friday, I became subconsciously anxious, fidgety and frequently getting up to peer down the gravel road in search of his car bellowing up dust in the distance. It was Marnie who embarrassingly pointed out jokingly that I looked like a forlorn lover awaiting a girlfriend. I made the excuse that I was only concerned for his well being, he was an hour late. Even I regretted how lame that statement sounded.

When Seth did arrive two hours late, I had to control my excitement, but once again, actions speak louder than words as I found myself doting over him, placing his bag in my front seat, getting him beer, making him a sandwich because he missed lunch. If anyone else detected the abnormal behavior, it wasn't mentioned.

After three or four beer that I offered and he consumed, someone suggested we change into our swim suits and head down the two-hundred feet to the beach and cool off in the water. I was first inside the rear door of the van in order to change into my trunks, never giving it a second thought that Seth wouldn't wait his turn outside the small confines for privacy sake. I was somewhat shocked that he was right behind me and closed the door to just a gap since the van's rear end faced our campsite.

He settled himself on the left bench seat admiring and commenting on the interior work that dad and I had achieved as he kicked off his runners, peeled off his socks, t-shirt and unfastened his jeans. My heart skipped several beats, I was going to finally see him naked and add reality to what I only imagined and fantasized about! I commenced slowly undressing, I had my trunks in hand, he hadn't yet even rummaged through his bag for his!

Still impressed and going on about the interior, of which he referred to as a "guy cocoon," he lifted his ass a few inches off the bench seat, pulled down his tight jeans along with his underwear to mid thigh in one swipe, and then struggled to escape them completely. Sitting naked with knees apart and a deep sigh he gave his cock and balls a tug expressing his silent relief in being unencumbered and free from their confines.

Although it had been medically controlled for quite some time, I felt that I was going to have an asthma attack! He was more than beautiful in my adoring eyes, not as well endowed as my over active imagination led me to believe, but perfectly proportioned in every sense of the word. A slender three inches of cut, mushroom capped shaft nestled in the loose, fleshy folds of his long sack gave the appearance of a miniature bronze scepter resting atop a satiny pink cushion; other than his pubic bush that matched the tint of his dirty blond head, the teen was hairless. A milky white bikini line accentuated his well tanned body.

I thought about smothering puppies, decapitating kittens, chocking Canaries, anything except where my imagination wanted to take me. I looked away, coughed, made a big effort of smoothing out the phantom wrinkles in my swim trucks resting on my lap. Maybe it was the thought of licking Debbie Miller's pussy that finally took my mind away and gave me the courage to match his nudity without embarrassing myself with an erection. And that's where my story begins.

"Hey, dude; I got some great weed in my bag. Kind of my contribution for allowing me to stay here with ya!" he said excitedly, standing up an giving me a momentary full frontal view merely two feet from my face followed by plump half moons that quivered like jello as he walked the short distance to the cab of the van.

A toke was a wonderful diversion, giving me a sense of well being sitting naked across from him, my goods haphazardly concealed by my hands, having the strange need to prove that I was just as liberal as his complacent attitude toward our 'Au naturel' state, as unnatural as it was. Guys didn't usually sit idly around together in the buff smoking pot, or doing anything else! It was always a change of clothes quicker than you could say modesty!

"Ever done shotgun?" he asked.

Not wanting to admit that not only did I not know what shogun was, I had only smoked pot once before. Naive and at his mercy, he took a deep drag and leaned across the narrow space with our knees touching and placed his hands on my upper thighs for support and gently put his mouth uncomfortably close to mine. Time stood still for that brief moment when I thought he wanted to kiss me!

A million things went through my mind. Our prolonged nudity was definitely an oddity, but along with that, his palms and fingers spread and grasping my upper thighs, merely inches from my junk followed by his face into mine, all had me nervous, yet excited at the connotations I was reading into it. He exhaled the second hand smoke, blowing it into my mouth as if he was performing artificial resuscitation on me. I caught on to my expected 'shotgun' role and inhaled his breath, feeling like a fool for misreading his intentions and thankful that I only grazed his teeth with my tongue.

Backing away, I coughed and choked from the assault to my lungs, however the next couple of hits mellowed. When he sat back, his face displayed a curious look, head cocked to the side and looking down as if he was trying to figure out something mysterious There was no denying what caught Seth's attention, my hard cock!

My face literally burned as I flushed, trying to hide my embarrassing state while scrambling to put on my bathing suit. I was so ashamed, my final mistake on outing myself and wanting nothing more than to get away from him and hide. Seth had to have realized what instigated my inappropriate response, guys just didn't pop boners in each others company.

Where I thought he was going to come unglued, he only smiled, "Like ... if ya need to take care of that problem before we head down to the beach,..." he shrugged his shoulders, "by all means, go ahead, no big deal to me!"

I froze, not believing my ears. Had he insinuated that I could jerk off in front of him? Or was it like every other misread, naive and confused notion? Stoned as I was, my mind had to be playing tricks on me, however that comment was as real as real could be!

Seth continued to astound me, "Dude ... I spent the last four years in an all boy's academy; --there ain't much I haven't seen before!" he confided with a snicker, "Ya know, --cooped up in a dorm with two two-hundred other fucking guys? --Boners happen!"

I knew that he had went to a private school, his father was some sort of Ambassador over seas, and that he was only being registered for local public school the very next September. "Freedom... ," I remembered him joyously saying one day earlier that summer, "Finally, a school with chicks and not just dicks!"

At the time, there was no way I was going to beat off in front of him, but later on the idea became more and more erotic. What a fucking idiot I was for not even trying in some subtle way to try and coerce him into joining me somehow! That would probably be as far as things would ever go, but a least it would have been kewl watching another guy do himself and cum; future fantasy fuel for the imagination, if nothing else! Perhaps the opportunity would present itself again at some point, or perhaps I could formulate a surefire plan to make it happen!

Mike asked quizzically, with a touch of cynicism, what took us so long to change and join them on the beach. It had been only about twenty minutes, maybe a half hour at most, but long enough to raise unwanted suspicion, I guessed. Perhaps I wasn't wrong in thinking that he detected that I may very well be gay. Seth came to the rescue advising that he and I had smoked a joint while we changed and shot the shit for a while. "What's it to ya, anyway?" he retorted. Mike looked at me, then at Seth as if he wanted to say something further but deciding to drop it.

I played up a macho image. Every girl or woman that strolled by on the beach, I whistled at, cat-calling after them. It wasn't my nature and my phony, uncharacteristic behavior was read like a book by Mike and Tim, telling me to shut up before we got thrown out of the campground.

Embarrassed, I felt uncomfortable the rest of the late afternoon on the beach. I had made a fool of myself. Seth soon became the center of attention, I swear that Marnie and Tammy were flirting with him, eying his physique up and down on numerous occasions, probably wondering what was hidden in his loose fitting shorts that I could describe to them in great detail. They began conversing back and forth over which mutual girlfriend they thought they could hook him up with. Seth seemed amused at their attention and strutted around like a fucking peacock, sucking it all in! Who could blame him, really. Strangely, Mike and Tim seemed oblivious to it all.

I felt a smug satisfaction having a one up on the two bitches. Hell, the cunts might have even been disappointed if they discovered that he didn't quite measure up to their expectations in comparison to their boyfriends. After all, women were size motivated, weren't they? Much the same as guys rated tits on the scale of sexual virtues, or so I surmised.

I had long since lost my pissy mood, pulling myself from the depths of despair that I had decided was unfounded and childish. Not only had Seth treated us all to his pot, but late that night he produced Ecstasy tablets, the latest teen fad to have taken the country by storm due to its affordability, nonaddictive nature and popular recreational social use at events such as concerts, raves and parties. That much was all I knew about it, however Mike, Tim and the girls had experienced the drug a few times, they revealed, and were more than pleased to share in Seth's generosity despite the tranquil, sedate camping environment. Hell, for fear of ejection, we couldn't even blast my pride and joy stereo system which I spared no expense in having installed in the van, therefore the Ecstasy seemed a waste in my opinion.

Around midnight, stoned, drunk and care free, we decided to go skinny dipping. Fuck the rest of the patrons in the nearby campsites, it was plenty dark enough that we could barely even see each other. We need not have worried regardless, two other couples of undetermined age frolicked in the lake a short distance away, the only factor of their own nudity was their tan lines clearly discernible in the darkness, unless of course they were all wearing white bathing suits, which was unlikely to me.

The cool water was most refreshing upon my over heated body. My thirst was insatiable and I resisted drinking the lake water, only taking it in my mouth and spitting it out. A wonderful sense of being one with nature enveloped me. I loved the freedom of my genitals floating and bobbing with the slightest movement made. The discovered sensation of the cool water lapping at my hot rectum when I spread my cheeks wide, then wider, wishing it would flood my insides, an erotic illusion of being fucked by mother nature while she gently stimulated my erection and balls.

I was oblivious to my surroundings, laying on my back in a dead man's float, admiring the milky way. The Big Dipper shone bright in all its glory and I played a game of Connect The Dots to distinguish the Zodiac symbols that I struggled to recall. Never before had I appreciated the mysteries of the universe as I had then, in serious wonder if another boy just like me was out there somewhere staring at the galaxy from a different geographical perspective with similar thoughts.

I was rudely brought back to reality, "Periscope down, sailor boy!" Seth said, dunking my head. Upon surfacing and gasping for air, he was laughing at me, "You make a lousy submarine, dude!"

"Yeah," countered Tim, "and someone could have lost an eye!"

"We really have to find him a girlfriend now that I've seen what he has to offer a girl." complimented Marnie, but it only embarrassed me.

Everyone had a good laugh at that. They were all staring at me, Tim and Tammy embraced each other to my right, Mike and Marnie to the left and Seth stood in front with an arm over the shoulder of each couple. I wasn't embarrassed anymore, everything was kewl. So remarkably kewl that I placed my arms around my friends' necks and completed the circle of camaraderie, laughing at my own expense.

Marnie and Tammy's tits bobbed freely just at the surface; dark raisin nipples extended from quarter sized spheres atop the pale blubber. My first live view of women boobs left me unimpressed and puzzled as to what pleasure guys got out of them! In addition to the masculine chests before my lustful eyes, if only I could span down through the black waters and see the true beauty of human anatomy that was so diverse and unique, setting each individual apart in his own artistic way!

A very close unilateral group hug ensued, no one seemed to encourage it, it just happened. Maybe my imagination was running rampant when I swear I felt my erection lightly loll over that of another. I let the erotica take my mind way from reality once again. In my dream state, we stood exactly there, but only the four of us guys, hands wandered beneath the surface, fingers interlaced the others to form a blissful circle jerk, each hell bent on the task to mutually take the others to simultaneous orgasm. I saw the dark water between us churn up in a concentrated thick milky white, then dissipate and coat the skin under our pecs. A sacred oath of eternal friendship being absorbed into the pores, not unlike, but with much greater emphasis and meaning than that of early childhood blood-brother rituals entailing pricked fingers mashed together!

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and the romantic interlude of my overactive fantasy and was awakened when our group embrace dis-embraced, leaving me standing alone to see five white asses treading to shore! I slowly walked the distance to allow my hornier than ever mindset to come to terms with life's sad existence.

Us guys sat around the fire in loose, sodden waist wrapped towels, the girls donned themselves in fleece blankets. I found even that experience erotic and invigorating, close to being naked, thighs and upper pubic regions occasionally and nonchalantly exposed as the towels sagged between our legs, precariously protecting the little modesty each boy exhibited in the presence of mixed company. I strongly suspected in my voyeuristic mind, that had the fairer sex not been present, and within the privacy of foliage surrounding the camp that we truly lucked out on finding, inhibitions would not have hindered our collective option to dry off totally naked together.

After fire-roasted marshmallows skewered on the trusty wire coat hangers satisfied our munchies, and gallons of water to quench unquenchable thirsts brought on by the Ecstasy, a side affect that I figured out on my own, Mike suggested to Marnie that hey hit the sack.

Seth scanned the faces of each couple, "Hey guys ... like it's still early. Why don't we all go inside the van and have another hit of Ex, listen to some tunes and ... party?" he proposed, a sly smile adding to his suggestive overture.

There was am uncomfortable period of silence. Even the fire pit seemed to hush its crackle, along with the crickets, birds and any other creature that lurked in the night air, all competing to be heard but not seen.

Mike glared at Seth in disbelief, "Dude, what are you insinuating?"

"Well, we were all sorta ... you know, ... friendly in the lake," Seth implied sensually with a wink, scanning the face of each couple, "so I thought maybe we could take it up a notch, -- like, stay stoned and go with the flow together."

Mike, not believing his ears, looked at Marnie who responded with a shrug and a little devious giggle, shook his head bewildered, and said to Seth, "Dude, I ain't sharing my girl with ya, if that's what you mean!"

I don't think Tim heard what Mike said before he jumped up from his lawn chair, "Fuck yeah, --I'm game! I could use another hit, chill out and listen to some tunes, dudes!" he said, removing his towel and waving it over his head, "Let's parrr-tay!" he shouted.

Tammy slapped Tim, turned away in disgust and stormed toward their tent, "Do what the fuck you want, asshole. I hope you have fun with each other but you can leave me out of it, Timmy!"

At the clear indication of not scoring with Tammy that night, or perhaps for the rest of the weekend, Tim followed her into the tent apologizing and saying he was just joking, ... bla-bla-bla. Meanwhile, Mike took the still smirking Marnie by the arm and led her into their nylon domain. Both couples zipped away for the night, I looked at Seth and we both broke out into hysterical, gut wrenching laughter, tears flowing from our eyes. I don't know why I found it so amusing because it was really quite insulting to the girls and each couple appeared to be on the outs with one another judging by the inaudible but obvious bickering coming from the tents.

We regained our composure, our towels had been used to dry our eyes and had been discarded halfheartedly over thighs or knees. Uncaring that we sat there naked, we roasted wieners that I discovered in the cooler beside us. The unrest continued from within the two pup tents, but much more vocal from Tammy. Tim suddenly exited his tent followed by his sleeping bag tossed behind him. He walked over, looked at Seth and I and without comment, took a piss on the fire and then parked his naked ass on the lawn chair beside me and tried in vane to skewer a wiener. I took the liberty and inserted it onto the wire hanger for him in fear that he was eventually going to poke his eye out, or mine!

"Fucking Bitch!" he scathed, roasting his snack over the fire, "I just wanted to party some more, ya know?" he slurred, guzzling a beer.

Seth said to Tim, "Hey, dude, --if you're in the dog house, you can crash with us, ya know? --You can still party with us."

Seth's invitation to Tim caused me to have another mental eclipse. I envisioned the three of us sitting in a circle on the bed naked, knees to bony knees, arms around each shoulders and huddled with our lips close together shotgunning a joint. Hands then wandered over chests, tummies, pubes and finally interlocking fingers in another glorious circle jerk!

"Hey, dude!" Tim's voice brought me back to reality, "If ya ain't careful, someone could mistake that for a wienie and roast it!" he chuckled, pointing at my erection, but soon losing interest, resumed his tirade. "Fucking cunts are all the same, ya know?" he slurred, He then raised his voice toward his tent, "Fucking cunts! --Bitches, that's what they all are!"

My exited predicament was shamelessly and nonchalantly covered with just a corner of my towel. It was no big deal, no embarrassment shrouded me. I even regretted trying to hide it, so I let gravity prevail over the sodden towel that didn't want to stay in place anyway, and exposed myself once again and watched as it rapidly deflated. Never before had I felt so euphoric, free spirited and erotically charged as I did then.

"Can't suck cock worth a damn, either!" Tim blabbered on, downing his beer and hurled the can at his tent, his final words before leaning to far over in his chair and like in slow motion, fell over sideways and slumped to the ground passed out.

On Seth's advise, that's where we left him after rolling his nude body onto his sleeping bag, absolving ourselves of a hopeless cause. Tim was better off passed out and sleeping it off rather than trying to rouse him to either stagger him into the van or to the certain wrath of Tammy.

Pausing to take a piss, we made our way the few yards to the van. Once inside, the realization struck me, we were both naked causing me to ponder the sleeping arrangements. I contemplated putting on boxer shorts, but opted to wait and see what Seth would do first.

"A night cap!" he appeared behind me and snickered, holding up two cans of beer, "So do these two beds get any bigger than two feet?" he chuckled, staring at the wall benches and scratching his head in exaggerated humor, "Don't look too comfortable to me!" causing me to laugh.

"You can pull the back rest cushion off to give you a little more room. --Or the two benches can unfold into one big bed." I said sheepish, expecting him to opt for the first choice.