I've never written for one of these websites before but I thought I just needed to get this off my chest. It's not that I'm ashamed of what happened, no, I've become quite at peace with that, maybe it's more that I want other mothers to trust their instincts when there's little else to go on and do what their heart tells them.
So, here goes.
My name is Natalie and when this began I was thirty-nine. I lived with my son, Tom, who was sixteen at the time. His father, well, his name is not important, he left us for his secretary about ten years earlier, so it was Tom and me.
Being a single mom and trying to raise a male child as well, I've always tried to keep the lines of communication as open as I could, especially about sex.
Sure, his schools had some form of sex-ed, they all did now but I'd told him years before to come to me if he wanted any information about sex and he did on occasion. I also initiated some of our conversations like the time I found dried, crusty, yellowed handkerchiefs wadded-up under his bed.
That was when I bought him a large bottle on fragrance-free body lotion for him to use on that one special part of his body. And I positioned a box of tissues on his bedside table for cleaning up after. I also told him it was perfectly fine to masturbate, even if it was multiple times a day. I'd had a brother growing up so I had some idea of how boys were.
The next night I looked on the internet at some porn sites to find some videos of guys masturbating. Actually I found them quite arousing myself and got off twice on my own. Then the next evening I let Tom watch them himself while I cleaned up the kitchen. I positioned the lotion and tissues next to the computer and told him I'd leave him alone for an hour. I also left a second browser window open with a video of a nude beach with girls playing volleyball.
He certainly looked happy when he came back into the kitchen after. I asked him simply if it had been helpful to him and he gave me a big hug and told me he loved me.
What else would a mom want?
So, this is how I tried to keep our communication as open as I could, especially about sex, a difficult topic for most parents and their children but particularly difficult for a mother and son or, I imagine, a father and daughter.
Now, I've told you about my son masturbating, how I talked with him about it making sure he knew it was fine to do, that there was nothing wrong with it, even helping him in certain ways.
But what about me? What about my sexual needs and desires?
Well, they were there, all right. I was a grown woman with all the libido you might expect, I'd always been horny since puberty.
So, I had to provide my own relief just as my son did his.
I didn't date anyone, well, there had been a UPS driver that I went out with once about a year ago but that fizzled quickly, so I, like lots of women, found ways to pleasure myself including a small collection of toys to help things along. It wasn't perfect but, well, it got the job done well enough.
I did use my laptop sometimes looking at porn though so much of it was just so fake looking. There were a few that I would find that were in the 'amateur' or 'homemade' sections that weren't too bad though sometimes the quality of the video wasn't quite as good.
So, I got myself off mostly every night after going to bed, it felt nice and helped me get a good night's sleep.
Then, one day after I got home after work and was opening the mail, Tom came in and sat down next to me.
"Mom, you always told me I could ask you anything I wanted and you'd try to answer me, right? No matter what it was about?"
Well, that made me wonder what was coming but I told him to ask away.
"Um, I've kind of heard you at night, like after I go to bed. And it sounds like you're, um, getting off, masturbating, you get a little loud sometimes."
"Oh, my. Well, as you know it can be fun, yes, I guess I do."
"I was wondering, well, I was wondering if I could, um, like come in and watch, watch you do it? See how you do it."
I felt my face flush as I sat there with the envelope slitter in my hand.
"I ... you want to watch? I ... well, I..."
If you think I was rather dumbfounded, I was for sure.
"Oh, Tom, I just don't think I could do that, I'm sorry. Maybe I can get you a video to watch on the internet. Maybe that," I choked out.
"Yeah, okay, I was really kind of wanting to see how you did it after hearing you but ... well, okay," he said looking rather disappointed.
"I've got to get started on dinner, okay?" I said wanting to put this behind me as quickly as I could and was soon busy in the kitchen.
Watch me, I thought. He wants to watch me masturbate. Well, I'm not an old bag, I'm thirty-nine, still weigh what I did in high school. My boobs, well, they're not bad, actually. I was never real big, B-cup, and, okay, they don't quite have the lift they once did but I can wear a bikini and feel good about it. And my legs are nice, I look good in shorts and skirts.
So, I think most any male would get his jollies watching me but, well, we both know he's my son. But, still I took his request as a compliment, one that I kept to myself. But it did make me feel good.
For the next few nights, I tried to keep a little quieter when I went about pleasuring myself but, well, in the heat of an orgasm, that's not high on your 'to-do list.'
Then, the next night, I had one of those gentle, sweeping orgasms that just slowly spread out covering your whole body with exquisite, sensuous delight and I laid there just enjoying every second. Until my full bladder began to take over.
I got up and went to the door and opened it to slip down to the bathroom. There was Tom, his cock in his hand, his briefs puddled around his ankles and splashes of his semen on the hardwood floor. And I was naked.
"Oh, my ... Tom, pull up your underpants and go to your room. I've got to go to the bathroom but I'll be down to see you in a few minutes," and I ran to the bathroom, luckily holding it in until I collapsed on the seat and let my bladder run empty. I sat there, somewhat upset at what had happened but even more ... rather aroused at what I had seen. My son, at sixteen, was every bit a man, a handsome, virile man.
I hadn't seen Tom's penis, well, since he was about nine, I thought, and what I had just seen was the penis of a man, a grown man, a man with a strong erection. I tried to put the image out of my mind to focus on what I was going to say to him and after I flushed the toilet, I got up and headed to his room.
I'd just taken a few steps when I realized I was still naked and made it back to my room and slipped on a nightgown and a robe.
Now we were going to talk.
His door was open but I rapped anyway, announcing my arrival and went in.
He was in bed and I went over and sat next to him.
"Well, I'm not angry, Tom, I mean what you did was supposed to stay private. It was me that had to go to the bathroom and caught you there rather, well, not red-handed, exactly but, well, you know."
I couldn't believe that it was coming out a bit humorous, I had intended it to be a serious talk.
"I just ... well, I've heard you, you know, um, getting off, and it really turns me on, I just can't listen without, um, doing it myself."
"I can understand that you, being male, at your age, have plenty of urges that you need to take care of, we talked about that a long time ago. That's understandable, that's human. As you know I have those urges as well."
"That's what I mean, Mom, why can't we do it together? You and me? I've dreamed and dreamed about you doing it, it really makes me ... well, it makes me want to do it with you, the two of us. I don't see what's wrong with that."
"Moms and sons aren't supposed to be sexual with each other, that's what's wrong with it."
"We'd just see each other. Not even touch, Mom. I just want to see you do it. I won't even do it myself. I won't even take my clothes off. I just want to watch you, watch you have an orgasm. I've heard you, I want to watch you, Mom. It sounds so wonderful."
"But, that's so personal, Tom. You're asking me to be naked in front of you."
"I know. I know. You are a beautiful woman, Mom, You hardly even look thirty. All my friends think you're really hot."
"Oh, god, don't tell me you talk about me with your friends."
"No, no, Mom, but they've mentioned you, they're young guys, Mom, they like pretty girls and women. You're a MILF, Mom, they all think so."
You probably won't believe this but I asked him.
"MILF, what's that?"
I knew when he turned crimson that I probably shouldn't have asked.
"You really don't know? It's for a mom I'd like to, well, F, you know what that means, right?"
Oh, my. Now I knew I still looked pretty good, never went to any lengths to hide my looks, I've rather enjoyed being attractive, even when I've gotten some looks from men, that's always felt pretty good. But I never thought teen boys would be ogling me. Shows you what I know.
"So these boys tell you that they would want to have sex with me?"
"Yeah, some do. Sorry, does that make you mad?"
I laughed and said, "No, in a way it's kind of funny, in another way, I guess it's kind of a compliment, though perhaps not one I'd pass on to my mother."
"Well, Mom, you're a very attractive woman and one that, well, when I hear you, you know, getting off, I realize how sexy and hot you are."
"Tom, I'm your mother."
.... There is more of this story ...