Zombies, Werewolves, Vampires, and Other Improbable Things
Epilogue: Like the End of a Story Being the End of the Story

Copyright© 2012 by ElSol

Erotica Sex Story: Epilogue: Like the End of a Story Being the End of the Story - Zombies, Werewolves, Vampires, Sex Fueled Psionic Powers..oh my! Miguel tries to survive in a world after space radiation kills or turns ninety percent of the human population. Luckily, a lot of hot women survived (I wonder how!).

Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including mt/ft   mt/Fa   Post Apocalypse   Vampires   Were animal   Zombies   Harem   First   Oral Sex   Anal Sex  

Sword Kellie lopped off the rapist's foot. The second rapist looked up fast enough to see the Left Tower's staff being flicked at his chest. One hundred pounds of steel flung by a Tower's augmented strength ... OUCH!

"I think you killed him," I told the Left Tower. He kicked the first rapist out of his way. Slapping the second rapist, the Left Tower shook his head at me.

The sixteen year old girl they'd been about to rape crawled away from us. She ended up too close to a jail cell full of zombies. They reached out and grabbed her. The girl screamed! The woman in the cell next to her screamed too. Brian stepped to my left and opened fire on the zombies; six bullets, six shots through the eye, and six for-real dead zombies. The girl and woman froze to stare at Brian as he reloaded.

Kellie coughed; she raised an eyebrow at me and nodded to the one-footed rapist.

"Oh yeah!" I said, walking towards him.

Both rapists, the woman, and the girl screamed when I lit up. They screamed for the whole time it took me to grow the guy's foot back.

I turned to find Mimi had set up a chair for me. She was giving me the White Maiden Inspection--they didn't like having me leave their sight, but there hadn't been enough of them to follow me into the police jail cells, get everything else I needed done, and see to my comfort.

"Mister, I don't know who you are but..."

The second rapist didn't get to finish. Mimi crossed the room and backhanded his mouth shut. She grumbled something as she took my hand to lead me to my seat.

"In case, you're wondering," Brian said to the rapists. "We're pretty sure that means 'stupid, whiny bastard' in Japanese. Don't be offended! We're also pretty sure that's her opinion of everyone except Miguel. She even hates her grandsons! She was around ninety years old when she found us so ... what?"

The rapists and the two females were staring at Brian open-mouthed.

"Oh! You didn't just see Miguel grow the butthole a new foot!" Brian said annoyed. "You think growing a new foot isn't harder than making a ninety-year Japanese crone into a super-sexy Japanese teenager?"

The girl crawled to her mother's cell. They hugged through the bars.

"Anyway, we were in a town and Mimi walks up to Miguel, like we're not in the middle of a pitched battle with a werewolf pack," Brian continued. "She strips naked right there and pokes Miguel in the chest. She's been a White Maiden ever since! I would be very careful around her too. Joey, the White Priestess, is pregnant so the Maidens are on a tear! If you show disrespect to Miguel, one of them could think you'll look better in pieces."

The Left Tower grunted.

"I do not love the sound of my voice!" Brian exclaimed. "I am the Voice of Silence! It is my job to..."

Mimi slapped him on the back of the head. Her tone of voice left no doubt what she was saying to him--stupid, talky bastard! Before heading upstairs, she gave the two rapists a look that promised dire consequences if they didn't behave.

"You deserved it," the Right Tower told Brian.

"Did not!"

The Left Tower walked over to the woman's cell and grunted. She must have understood it or at least wanted some distance between her and the seven-foot tall, massively built, naked black man. He kicked the cell door open.

"Why are they naked?" the girl asked me.

"JoAnne!" the older woman said, running out of the cell and hugging the girl.

"I want to know, mom!"

"We like to put Miguel's works on display," Brian said, admiring the Towers' naked bodies. "It also hurries people on the way to accepting certain things! I notice you didn't ask why Mimi was wearing so little."

"I'm Lauren Graham," the older woman said to Brian. She was doing her best not to look at me. "This is my daughter, JoAnne. We'll be on our way. Thank you very much for the rescue!"

"You'll never make it out of town," Brian told her.

Lauren stared at him. Brain's voice had been deadly serious. She believed him so she nodded.

"Don't worry, love," Brian said. "Saving you isn't inconvenient."

She turned slowly to stare at me.

"I don't have anything to do with it," I told her.

"Lauren, JoAnne, let me introduce you to the god-King Miguel," Brian said. "My Lord, this is Lauren and JoAnne Graham."

"god-King?" Lauren and JoAnne looked more wide-eyed at the title than they had at me growing the rapist's foot back.

"I know what you're thinking," I said before Brian could open his mouth. I leaned forward to stare at the women. "You're thinking--who the hell does that teen douchebag think he is ... wearing all white?"

Mimi chose the moment to come back.

I shushed the women with a gesture in front of my lips. Mimi put some stuff down in the jail-cell Lauren previously occupied. I shook my head when Lauren tried saying something. We watched Mimi set up an airbed in the middle of the cell and curtain off the inside from our view. Mimi walked out of the cell. Stopping in front of Lauren, she grabbed the woman's hips and smiled at me. Mimi headed back upstairs.

"Brian wasn't kidding," I told Lauren and JoAnne. "Joey is having my first baby. The White Maidens want ABSOLUTELY nothing to stress her out. It's impossible! She's having a baby! How not-stressed can a pregnant lady be?"

"What's a White Maiden?" JoAnne asked Brian.

"His sex slaves," Brian said, tilting his head towards me. "And his bodyguards, although we're all his bodyguards. Miguel is very, very precious to us!"

Lauren looked into the curtained off cell nervously before taking JoAnne's hand and pulling the girl closer.

"You're not here to rescue us?" Lauren asked me.

"I don't do rescues," I replied. "When I rescue somebody, they tend to get attached, like Mimi. I have to tell you--she's pretty fucking bad. Right up there with Emily and Joey!"

"It's the second life thing," Brian told the women. "Miguel gave Mimi a another chance. She hated her husband, and their kids, and their grandkids. She blames her husband and is very thankful that the god-King was generous enough to give her life meaning."

I nodded to the women. "They're all crazy! Don't believe the hype, Brian is nuts too. He's the dumbass who suggested the white getup for me."

Brian brushed his hand across my shoulders; there was no dust, he just liked doing it.

"I think you look good," he said giving Lauren the 'eye'.

"He looks very good," the woman said. "Are you going to help us get out of here?"

"Miguel has some business with Reverend Smith," Brian said.

Lauren and JoAnne's eyes flattened.

"Don't fret, ladies," Brian told them. "It's the good kind of business."

"Unless he's going to have one of white ladies rip the Rev's heart out of his chest, I don't see why we shouldn't fret," JoAnne said. "The Reverend stuck us down here with those two."

"Speaking of which..." I said looking at the two men.

Brian leaned towards the women. "You're going to want to stick around. Things like that do tend to happen around Miguel! His Sword did chop the guy's foot off."

"I like 'lop' better," I told Brian. "Chop doesn't sound right! I mean chopping stuff is like chop-chop-chop. Kellie didn't chop-chop-chop his foot off."

JoAnne looked at Kellie. "Is she like the white ladies? She's not wearing white."

Kellie had settled on black for her uniform. The only thing not black on Kellie was the pair of one-carat flawless diamond stud earrings in platinum settings.

"Sort of," Brian told JoAnne. "The Maidens tend to be unreasonable about disrespect to our Lord and Master. Kellie..."

"I chop-chop-chop anyone who might be a danger to Miguel; I don't ask questions later either," Kellie told JoAnne. "And yes, I have sex with him whenever he wants too."

"But doesn't everybody?" Brian asked the room.

Lauren turned very nervous eyes on me. I smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"We have some time," I said to the two rapists. "Enough to deal with you."

"When the Reverend finds out what you did here," the first rapist said angrily. "He'll crucify you!"

"The Reverend has done it," the second rapist told me. "And worse!"

"Like turn someone on purpose?" I asked.

They looked at the zombie corpses in the second prison cell. They had the stones to smile and nod at me. I studied the two men: dirty and smelly.

The girl was the injured party...

"I'm not into making more of the things that want to eat me, although I haven't tried to make a woman yet. Turn a man into a woman that is, not actually MAKE a woman." I said. "Anyway! Unfortunately for you two gentlemen, the Voice of Reason is busy elsewhere."

The Left Tower grunted.

"It has been awhile," I said without looking at Towers. "Do you think we have enough time?"

As if on cue, the two women and two rapists looked behind me. They took in harsh breaths and gasped them out. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I smiled at Emily.

"This is my finest creation," I told Lauren.

The Left Tower grunted--he must have been feeling talkative.

"You're my biggest creation; the White Maidens are my best, but fluorescent tattoos ... come on! How awesome am I?"

Lauren and JoAnne's eyes couldn't get wider without popping out of their heads.

"Do you know how many things I had to change in Emily for her tattoos to light up? But wait for it ... she can control it!" I raised my hands and gestured for the two women to give me props.

"They're different colors," I said hopefully but got nothing even from the two rapists. "What does a guy have to do around here?"

"Maybe the Reverend performs miracles," Brian told me. "You are rather under-dramatic. I keep telling you, Boss--Presentation, Presentation, Presentation!"

"I don't like to show off," I replied.

"The girl lights up in the dark!" Brian exclaimed.

I shrugged, studying Emily. "Yeah, but I didn't design the tattoos. The glowing was a finishing touch so I can see why no one is impressed."

Emily raised an eyebrow at Kellie. She got a shake of the head in response to the unspoken question.

"They spoke angrily at Miguel," Brian told Emily. He pointed at the two rapists. "They might have threatened him with crucifixion too."

Emily hurdled me. The two rapists didn't have time to scream before she had them by the neck. Lifting them up, she slammed them against the wall.

I was wrong--Lauren and JoAnne's eyes could get wider.

Emily had chosen to have me undo all her tattoos. Her new ones were tribal patterns connecting from her face through her body down to her feet. She wore clothing that displayed a majority of the work. At the moment, Emily was holding the two rapists, one in each hand, high up against the wall. Her tattoos flared as brightly as they could.

She didn't have to say anything to the rapists. Dropping them, Emily slinked back to me.

"Oh!" I whispered. "Excuse me, I have to..."

For the next few minutes, I couldn't have answered what country I was in. Emily knelt at my left side. She opened my fly slowly and reached inside to pull my dick out. The head barely cleared cloth when her tongue was touching me. Before I popped, a pair of warm hands massaged my testicles.

I opened my eyes to see Emily and Abella walking into the curtained off cell.

"To catch you up, Boss," Brian said. "Things are going well outside. We've got the kids and their parents sorted. The non-cult crazy ones anyway."

I nodded.

"Was that necessary?" Lauren asked me.

I looked at JoAnne; the girl couldn't stop smiling.

"You're bigger than them," JoAnne said to me, pointing at the Towers. "I don't know how they could be that big but you're even bigger!

"Jo!" her mother said angrily.

"I would apologize," I said to Lauren before shrugging. "But I'm just along for the ride!"

One of the rapists decided to be brave. "You do that to them, but you got a problem with us getting the same from the girl!"

"I feel very disrespected by your tone of voice," I told him. "Mimi! Emily! I think I could get into Abella's good graces by letting her slap these idiots around. Abella gets SOOOO hot after she slaps a man around!"

"They did put a bed in there," Brian pointed out. "It's never a bad idea to get a woman in the mood!"

"Actually..." I looked at JoAnne. "He made it sound like you were willing. I don't want to make any mistakes. These could be your mating rituals. Am I wrong that you were being raped?"

"They were going to rape me!" JoAnne said in a hard voice. Lauren hugged her daughter around the shoulders.

"Stinky, smelly men or cute teenage female on the issue of willingness," I said to Brian. 'It's a dilemma--who do I believe?"

He leaned against the wall and stroked his chin while studying the parties.

"Crystal is going to kick you in the head," Kellie said.

"CUTE TEENAGE FEMALE!" Brian shouted.

"Maybe she was asking for it," I said reasonably.

"CUTE TEENAGE FEMALE!"

"Maybe she didn't run fast enough," I offered.

"CUTE TEENAGE FEMALE!"

"Maybe they're related," I said. "We are in the South."

"That's being regionalist! The only instance of incest I know about involved you and those redheaded twins," Brian replied.

"I was just along for the ride," I said, feeling my cheeks warm from the blush.

"CUTE TEENAGE FEMALE!"

"Well, gentlemen," I said to the rapists. "I tried for you! It was a long, drawn out legal battle, but you have been found guilty of attempted rape. Let's be honest, you looked like pros so it probably wasn't your first rape rodeo."

I took a deep breath and relaxed into the chair. Studying the men for a few seconds, I turned to smile at JoAnne.

"As you are the victim, you should decide their punishment," I told her. "Death or life."

She frowned. "I don't understand."

"Rape is punishable by death in our group," I said. "Something about all pussy belongs to me and theft of service. To be honest, I have no fucking idea about it! You have to ask the women. I'm pretty sure it was Diana's idea. She's the second in command and a bit of a man-hater."

"Actually, she hates males who act like being a man is all that and a bag of chips, but don't actually act like men," the Right Tower said.

"Like I said, I don't fucking get it!" I shrugged. "Look Jo, here's how it boils down. You say the word and Kellie lops their heads off. You say the other word and they live."

"That's it!" JoAnne sounded very angry. "They live! Nothing happens to them."

Brian snorted.

"Well..." I tilted my head. "They live after they take care of those."

I pointed at the Towers' hard-ons.

"And this one," Brian pointed down to his erection pushing against the front of his pants.

"NOO!" one of the rapist shouted. Kellie kicked him in the face when he tried to stand up.

"Usually I'm not involved in this kind of thing," I said. "There's a private party and a guy's colon gets straightened for a few hours. These guys aren't a part of my group so I guess we'll have to be informal. I mean, formal since the Tea Parties are informal. Fuck it! If you're curious get the Professor to explain the whole formal and informal lines of bitching about shit I do or don't do!"

"You can't ask my daughter to make that kind of choice," Lauren said to me.

"Sure I can," I replied. "You don't want me to! It doesn't mean I can't ask or insist she make that kind of choice."

"It's a hard world." Kellie stared into JoAnne's eyes. "It's easier to mentally survive this kind of thing if you know there was justice or that your attacker is never going to do it again."

"Death or Life, Joanne?" I asked.

"Are you going to do them too?" she asked.

The rapists were shaking their heads hard; neither was dumb enough to open their mouths again.

"Oh! I don't get involved in that action," I told JoAnne. "I'm going into that cell over there and wait until the Reverend really gets into his sermon. The motherfucker can talk with the best of them, can't he?"

JoAnne walked to the kneeling rapists. She grabbed each one by the chin and stared into their eyes.

"Life," she said after walking back to stand beside her mother.

"No, honey," I told JoAnne when she turned to head into the curtained off cell. "You passed the sentence--you watch the punishment!"

JoAnne's eyes flashed at me, but she leaned against the cell bars.

The two rapists decided not to go down without a fight. They stood up and threw punches as the Towers walked up to them. I took refuge in the curtained cell. The Towers must have felt frisky; the two guys didn't start screaming for a good five minutes. I heard a lot of punches and slaps being landed before the first ass-ripping scream!

"My daughter shouldn't be watching that insanity," Lauren said to me.

She stood in a corner of the cell. Emily and Abella were on the airbed; they had gotten started without me.

"In this place," I said, gesturing towards the outside world. "You get over it or you die."

Lauren wanted to deny it, but very few people survived mistakes in Zombie-World. A second spent thinking about 'what could have been' was all the distraction a zombie needed to chomp down on you.

I stared at Lauren's hips and then at the airbed.

"It's not going to happen," she said in a hard voice.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Let me be clear, it's never going to happen!" she took a step towards me. "Not unless you rape me, but let me guess ... when you rape someone you don't get tag teamed."

I smiled at her.

"I want to be sure I understand you," I said. "You are never going to WILLINGLY have sex with me. Never, ever! EVER! And if my dick does happen to find it's way inside you, it was/is rape?"

"Yes!" she growled.

"BRIAN!" I yelled.

"I was busy," he said when he walked into the cell. The wet hardon told us he'd been very busy.

"Tell him what you told me," I said to Lauren.

"I'm never going to have sex with your ... god-King," she said, trying not to look at his erection.

He looked at me.

"And she said, if we ever did have sex, it would be rape," I said with a nod.

Brian turned to stare at Lauren. He shook his head. "Idiot!"

"Well," I said after he left. "Well! Hmmm ... if you're offended by sex between 'consenting' people you could go watch the action out there and close your eyes if you don't like to watch two non-consenting rapists get what they wanted your daughter to take."


Lauren and JoAnne pressed tightly against each other. We were walking down the Main Street of town. White Maidens surrounded us. Beyond them, men were filtering in to join our group. The small army made the two women nervous. The Reverend had a bad reputation in the surrounding towns so the women hadn't taken my group seriously until they saw our numbers.

"The Mistresses are in position," Brian told me. He made sure to stay near the two women. "The Shadow Army is dug in."

"Still think it's a stupid fucking name!" I complained.

Brian nodded. "Got to let the men have something."

"They get the job done." Kellie said.

I shook my head. The Shadow Army was compromised of all males--more accurately, all suicidal males. They hoped to either die, have someone in the inner group make them a Shadow bodyguard, or to have me raise them up to a position of Authority in our society, which they interpreted as dying and being reborn. Mostly they died (no rebirth), but we weren't short of volunteers. I'd heard rumors that a large number of women wanted to join the Shadow Army.

"What are you going to do?" Lauren asked when I stopped in front of the large church.

The guards in front of the church stripped out of their borrowed clothes and joined us. We replaced the real guards before I went looking for Lauren and JoAnne.

"They're all inside," one of the men told Brian.

Brian nodded and spoke into the microphone against his cheek for a few seconds. Finally, he nodded and turned to me. "We're ready!"

I winked at JoAnne.

"Knock, knock," I said loudly.

"Who's there?" I said in a deep voice.

"I am!" I said. "Let me in, let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll..."

I thrust my hand towards the church, opening them at the last second. Reaching out with my power, I found every person, every wooden board, every metal pipe, every prayer book ... I Pushed them all away!

"Blow your house down!" I finished, bringing my hands to my sides.

It wasn't that much noise. Between one second and the next, the church evaporated. The Push separated all the building elements of the church itself so the people were the biggest thing, which could be seen flying through the air.

"HOLY SHIT!" JoAnne screamed. Lauren turned to the side and puked.

"I hate crazy people," I told them. "The Reverend's best and brightest were fucking nutso!"

The first howl cut the silence of the night. Knives, machetes, short swords, and axes appeared in the White Maidens' hands. They handcuffed the weapons to their wrists. The men walked farther out, giving the White Maidens room, before kneeling down and bring their firearms up.

Brian put a hand to his ear. "It's the biggest wolf pack we've seen so far, Miguel. The zombies are moving in fast too. This is going to be ugly!"

I nodded. "This vampire has learned. She's intentionally turning people into wolves!"

"Blow away," JoAnne said quietly.

"What?" I asked her.

"You didn't blow the church down," she said, looking at the large crater. "You blew it away! Were the people still alive when you sent them flying? I might have heard them screaming."

"JoAnne!" her mother said loudly.

"Yes," I replied. "Everybody deserves the opportunity to ponder the error of their ways."

"Like rapists," JoAnne said.

"Exactly!"

I spread my legs and took a deep breath; I felt her presence before my eyes saw her.

"Hello," I said to the vampire.

She looked at each person before replying. "You don't smell afraid! None of you smell afraid except the two women."

"You're not my first," I said. "They wouldn't call me god-King and be afraid either. It would be highly disrespectful to my awesomeness! The White Maidens have a no-tolerance policy on disrespect."

The vampire was a little ... chunky. Dirty blonde hair, very bright blue eyes. She studied me with a lot of intelligence!

"You're the one who killed Seth," she said.

"In my defense, he killed some of my Shadow dudes," I replied. "Don't get me wrong, most of them WANT to die. It would be very bad for moral if I didn't gank a motherfucker who killed some of mine though. I'm not fond of the 'mine' thing, but there are benefits. Pussy! Ass! Mouth! The occasional titjob or handjob. You know how it is or actually you don't since you don't have a dick. Let me buy you a vowel--A is for AWESOME!!!"

The wolf pack slipped in around us.

"We can come to an arrangement, like with the Reverend," the vampire told me.

"Ooh, I like negotiations," I said. "What's your offer?"

"The Reverend promised me the girl," the vampire nodded at Joanne. "Give her to me, and I'll let you leave alive."

Lauren gasped and stood in front of her daughter. "Bobbie Joe, you wouldn't!"

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I made a T with my hands. "Time out! Time out! Did I hear that right?"

Brian hung his head before shaking it from side to side.

"The Vampire Bobbie Joe!" I said, trying very hard not to laugh. "Bobbie Joe The Vampire!"

"Yes," Brian said finally. "You are allowed ten jokes about the South without any complaints from me."

"Done!" I turned back to the vampire. "Where were we? You have a prior claim on the girl."

I pursed my lips.

"Wait! Wait!" Joanne said, making a T with her hands. "Time out!"

I had seen MANY girls and women strip. Never had a female dropped her clothing so fast! Joanne straightened up. She was only wearing white sneakers.

"I'm with them," she said, pointing to the White Maidens around us. Looking at me, Joanne smiled. "I've always dreamed of wearing white and belonging to one man for the rest of my life. Prior claim goes to the god-King!"

Brian bit his lip and looked me. If he had smiled, I would have slapped him.

"You're in so much trouble with that one," he said. "The wedding thing is brilliant!"

He was smart enough to turn away before laughing.

"You get that it's not necessary," I told JoAnne. "Plus I don't think your mom is going to let this one fly."

I looked hopefully at Lauren. She was staring between the vampire and me. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"I know about my daughter's dream," Lauren said finally. "This is it. I'm sure of it!"

"Hey, look who joined the party!" Brian said to Lauren.

"She's yours," the vampire said, looking at me. "You can still give her to me!"

"First of of all, my name is not Reverend or Priest whatever-or-ever," I said. "I wouldn't give you a dying Shadow's bloody turd. Giving up a female? Lady, it's not happening!"

I stared at JoAnne's naked teenage body. "Really not happening!"

"But it doesn't fucking matter,, " I said. "Jo, I'm going kill the vampire anyway."

Lauren gasped and her eyes widened at the nonchalance of my tone of voice.

JoAnne stared at me for a few seconds. "If you can kill a vampire, I am going to get in line to be staked by you."

"Soooo much trouble..." Brian whispered.

The vampire tensed! Two monstrous werewolves jumped over Bobbie Joe towards me.

I raised my left hand, Pushing one of the werewolves up. A sonic boom went off as the werewolf accelerated upwards. My right hand was already up. I spread my fingers! Reaching into the second werewolf, I Pushed him apart.

Red mist!

The vampire came in behind them. Unlike the first vampire I fought, Bobbie Joe fully committed to her blow. The Push-Wall caught the punch. Bobbie Joe hit so hard the backwash from the force almost split her in half.

The vampire snarled and ... ran.

"Okay, that's new," Brian said in shock.

"No, it's not," I said. "Motherfucker! I hate it when they run!"

"What?" Lauren asked.

"If she's smart enough to run, she's smart enough to come at me when I'm vulnerable, like sleeping!"

The werewolves around us tensed.

"CLEAR!" I shouted. Pushing outwards in a circle made the werewolves tumble backwards several feet. Sniper fire from the Mistresses hit the werewolf pack.

"The Shadow Army is engaged," Brian said. "They're splitting the zombie horde in half."

It was suicide if we didn't get to them in time. They knew it too!

The werewolves charged us.

Kellie danced with three of them on my left. White Maidens engaged other werewolves. Emily and Mimi fought bare-handed! Bare-clawed! Brian pulled bigger handguns from the holsters at his back. He fired one shot to force a werewolf into the position and followed it with two bullets that took the wolf's head off.

"I'll get the women out," Brian yelled at me. He pushed JoAnne into Lauren's open arms.

"Kill the pack," I ordered. "Not one fucking survivor! Don't press the zombie horde! They'll break up if I can kill the vampire!"

He nodded.

I took a step forward and Push-jumped in the direction of the vampire. Maybe I'd get lucky and she would try to take me in the air.


Lauren met the visitors when they were only a few feet from me.

"Hello, Dad," she said hugging the elderly gentlemen. She kissed the older woman's cheek. "Aunt Julie."

Lauren ignored the other four people in the group. I heard the stories so I didn't blame her.

"Dad, Aunt Julie ... this is the god-King Miguel," Lauren said, leading the group closer to my 'throne'.

"I know what you're thinking," I said to them. "What the hell is that kid thinking wearing white before Easter?"

Aunt Julie rested her hand on the arm of Lauren's dad before looking around the room. Julie was the sister of Lauren's mom. We'd taken over the community center in Reverend Smith's town. Aunt Julie's eyes rested on the rows of women doing yoga. JoAnne was in the back of the group.

"Actually, I was wondering how one so young got to be god-King," Aunt Julie said to me. "And what my niece is doing over there."

"Naked yoga," I said. "It's the best thing ever! I'd heard of yoga and that was kind of cool sounding, but nobody told me women liked to do it naked. I'm kind of stuck! Normal yoga is really hot, so is yoga where they're wearing sport bras and thongs. Obviously, naked is better, but clothed yoga has to through 'getting naked' to get naked yoga. Women getting naked is one of my favorite things in the world!"

I stopped as the women did some yoga pose where their forearms rested on their knees and their feet came completely off the ground. Rows of butts pointed at me!

 
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