Chapter 5

For a while, Jordan drove and the two of us were silent. I was lost in thought over the moral issues of using my Fetish. It wasn't the same as my Initiation. This was something I could control. Would I want someone to use a Fetish on me, to make me feel aroused or anything else for that matter? Then I glanced at Jordan. For a second, I studied her profile while she drove. She hadn't been happy with the situation when she awoke my powers, but it wasn't the emotions she felt that upset her, it was the loss of her power. She hadn't talked about it since then. Instead, she focused on all the mundane needs non-Magi had to worry about.

I thought about Danielle and Jana too. Neither one complained about how they came to be with me. In fact, the more I thought about that, the more I worried that something else had happened to make them compliant. It was one thing for the bond to increase feelings of love and attraction, but if their free will was being compromised by these bonds, then I really needed to release them.

I looked up when Jordan stopped at a light in a section of town I didn't recognize. "Where are we?" I asked.

Jordan glanced at me. "Don't know about you, but I'm getting' hungry."

At the mention of food, my stomach grumbled. "Apparently, I am too," I said, frowning.

She smiled. "What'cha hungry for?"

I shrugged. I was never very picky when it came to food, so long as it wasn't the same thing too often. "How about something new?"

"Like what?" she asked in return. "Have you ever had Chinese?"

I had what my mother had passed off as Chinese food, but I had never been to anything considered authentic. I shook my head, no. She nodded and found a Chinese Buffet. We went inside because it was more like a regular restaurant without a drive through. I thought the setup was odd, but then, I had never been to a buffet before either. We both grabbed plates and I loaded up with a little of this and that. The only thing that looked remotely familiar was the eggrolls, which I mistook for small burritos.

The food was good, and I sat there for a while watching Jordan clear her plate before I noticed other patrons going back for seconds. "Do they charge by the plate?" I asked.

Jordan shook her head and said, "By head." She smiled and added, "If you're still hungry go get another plate. I like the food, but feel like I haven't eaten after about two hours."

I nodded but waited until she got up to get more too.

Before we got back to our table, Jordan asked one of the guys behind the counter for an order of Sweet and Sour Pork to go. Either she was taking more for later, or more likely she was getting something for Danielle.

When we left, Jordan continued on in an unknown direction. "Where to now?" I asked.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You still need to look for more Fonti."

I opened my mouth to offer up the fresh objections I had thought of since leaving the bank, but Jordan seemed to know what I was thinking, because she interrupted me. "And don't give me any crap about danger or making someone feel something you shouldn't because you seem to have forgotten what I told you when all of this started."

I closed my mouth and blinked at her in stunned silence. First, her words were very heated, and second, she was right. I couldn't remember what she had told me that would be pertinent. So much had happened since my Initiation that I didn't remember any warnings.

After a minute of silence, Jordan said, "Think about the alternative, Seth. If you don't get enough Fonti, or worse, go against what we want and release the three of us to run away, you could be putting a lot more people in danger than you think."

There were several points I frowned at. The idea of running away was not even close to what I was trying to do, or argue for. To me, releasing the girls and avoiding people in general would be the best solution. No one would get hurt and all I would have to do is take care of myself, something I was accustomed to.

What bothered me more was the idea that I would be putting more people in danger should I go through with the 'running away' scenario. However, before I could form an argument to the contrary, Jordan continued. "I know someone who tried running away, but you can't run from your power. It's a part of you, like your emotions, like your guilt."

"That doesn't mean I shouldn't maintain some level of control," I said in the time it took her to breathe.

She shook her head. "There's a difference between avoidance and control. You can't avoid the issue. For that matter, the form of control you're talking about isn't possible. You need to have sex with people to feed your power, even if you're not using it. You cannot simply turn that off, it doesn't work that way."

I frowned at that. I didn't think I was being that transparent, but then Jordan had years of experience dealing with this.

"What you control is who you have sex with," she said. "That's the only level of control you're allowed."

"Like the difference between choosing someone I'm attracted to and someone I'm not?" I asked, and even to me, I sounded sullen.

She shook her head. "If you refuse to feed your power, that won't even matter. Hell, age won't matter, at least to a degree."

I wanted to ask what she meant but asked something different. "What happened to your friend?"

She was quiet for a moment. The hum of the car was the only noise. Not even the heavier traffic outside made any impact on the silence between us. "She tried moving away, out to the country, far from any town or city. For a while it worked. She lived alone, grew her own food, maintained her clothes, and the shed she built to sleep in. Then one day, she woke up in a stranger's house. She was naked, as were all the people sleeping around her. She panicked at first, because there were men, and women and even young teens. She couldn't wake any of them up and knew that her power had forced her to seek out sustenance. She called 911 and left. Later, she found out that most of the people were only in deep sleep, like they had been drugged, but a few were in comas that lasted different amounts of time."

Jordan glanced at me and a tear ran down her cheek. "She knew she couldn't ignore her power. She didn't have to use it, but she couldn't refuse to feed it. It would take control and force her to do that again and again if she tried. She told me the best way to maintain control was to control who you fed on, and to make sure you got enough."

I knew she was trying to scare me, but the story alone, even with the moral, wasn't enough. What scared me was her reaction. Why would Jordan be so sad, and scared, telling me about someone who had gone through that? It sounded like something every Magi should hear, but I didn't think she had told anyone else. There was only one reason I could think of for her emotional attachment, but I wanted to be sure. "Who did that happen to?"

Jordan blinked and focused on driving for a minute. I thought I might have to repeat my question when she said, "My mother," very softly. "That was the day I was conceived. That's why I don't know who my father is."

I stared at her, letting my shock show. It wasn't new that Jordan didn't know her father, but I had always thought it was because her mom had simply lost track among her various lovers. Shaking off my reaction, I leaned over as far as my seat belt would allow, and stroked her cheek where her tears trailed.

She reached up and took my hand. "Do you understand now? You can't simply run away. You have to find more Fonti because that's the only way, the only sane way to resolve the problem."

I nodded. Jordan's pain was too fresh to allow me to bitch and whine about problems I didn't have any control over. I still didn't want to hurt anyone and quietly, I said as much.

She sighed. "That's a different kind of problem. It'll continue to exist too, but as long as you maintain balance between the women you're with, then none of us will be in danger."

I still didn't like the idea of putting anyone in danger, much less the people I cared for, but with the possibility of that alternative, I didn't know what else to do but to follow Jordan's advice. "What about what you're mom does? Moving from one place to another and having lots of repeat lovers?"

Jordan scrunched up her face thinking. "There was always something ... not right about that." She glanced at me and squeezed my hand. I squeezed back and she calmed down, like I had administered a drug that swept through her system. "Besides, there's one big difference between you and my mother."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, my lack of seductive talent."

"No, Seth," Jordan said, squeezing my hand. "You're attracted to women. Men are easy to seduce. They don't have to worry about rape or pregnancy."

I nodded and remembered that seduction was the point of the Fetish. For a few minutes we rode in silence again. I was happy to hold Jordan's hand. She reminded me that I wasn't completely undesirable.

My biggest problem wasn't the Fetish, or my power and its requirements. No, my biggest problem was my self-image. I didn't see myself as desirable. I didn't believe that anyone could honestly look at me and see someone they would want to be friends with, much less have a closer, more intimate relationship with. And they certainly wouldn't be willing to put themselves in potential danger for me.

In the other corner, the counter-problem was my power's hunger. I had to feed it and that required sex. In a circular set of problems, I couldn't be with only the three women already bound to me. I would kill them if I didn't find more Fonti, and due to my self-image problem, I didn't believe I could do that. All-in-all, to me, there was no solution.

Jordan drove, and I sat there slipping further into depression over my dilemma. I looked around at the traffic passing by and the city beyond. I still didn't know where we were, but I was too far gone to worry about it.

Jordan glanced at me. "Hey," she said, squeezing my hand again. "I know things are rough, but we'll get through them."

I wanted to believe her. I needed to believe her. But I couldn't. I didn't see a plausible solution, not one following the path Jordan had put me on nor one that ran in line with my desire to hurt no one.

When I didn't say anything, Jordan pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall. Most of the stores were dark and empty. At the far end was a 7-11 with several cars parked in front and at the gas pumps. The only other store evident was the one we parked in front of. There were several cars parked nearby, and just as Jordan killed the engine, two women came out of the store carrying large specialty bags with the logo of the store on the side.

For a moment, Jordan sat there looking up at the store. I didn't say anything because I didn't know why we were there. Then she looked at me and said, "Put on your Fetish."

I looked at her. "You want me to find Fonti here?"

She shrugged. "You might get lucky. Most of the women who shop here are either married or in a serious relationship and your Fetish won't affect them."

I shook my head, confused. "Then why bother?"

"Because," she said, popping her door's latch to get out, "I know at least three girls who work here who are looking."

She slipped out of the car and I sat there watching her, incredulous with her audacity. She expected me to walk in the store and seduce the employees?

She stopped and looked back. I was still sitting in the car. She waved at me to follow her and I was reminded of when she had taken me and Danielle to a motel during my Initiation.

I got out of the car and followed her. I had my Fetish in my hand in my pocket, struggling with the decision to put it on or not. By way of distraction, I studied the front of the store. Other than the name, Silk and Lace, I didn't see any signs or depictions of what was sold inside. For that matter, all the windows were covered from the inside by layers of drapes. Even the main doors, which were glass in metal frames, were covered. I thought it was odd and didn't understand why the contents of the store were hidden from public view.

Jordan stood next to the door, watching me approach. When I reached her, she said, "By the way, this is where I work."

I knew she worked in sales somewhere, but she didn't talk about work, at least not with me. There had been a few times I found her talking to Danielle or Jana about something in low whispers, but when I asked what the topic was, all Jordan would say was, "Work." It looked like I was about to find out what "work" meant all along. And from the tone in her voice, this little tidbit of news was meant to help me relax. I could only wish that was the case.

She looked down at my hand in my pocket. "You know, the world won't end if you wear your Fetish."

Anger flared through me, but I kept it in check and it died just as quickly. I don't know why I was angry. It could have been with her and her persistence regarding my situation, but I knew that wasn't the case. I was angry with myself. I was angry because I couldn't think of a better solution.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I pulled the Fetish out and slipped it on before I changed my mind. Of course, I could always take it off if I got really uncomfortable, and there was a certain level of reassurance with that thought.

Jordan smiled as I tucked the trinkets under my shirt. I took another deep breath and let it out while I opened the door. Jordan went in first and I followed. She stopped and stepped aside so I could see past her. I could feel her eyes on me while I looked around, as if she was watching to make sure I wouldn't change my mind too soon. I did my best to ignore that sensation.

Silk and Lace was a lingerie store, with several racks of various intimate wear as well as undergarments of all sorts and colors. Posters depicted models in various outfits, but nothing too revealing. To me it was small, quiet, and very tasteful. It didn't require the drapes. However, I wasn't there to try anything on. The women who shopped there probably felt more comfortable with the additional privacy.

Speaking of the women who shopped there, there were at least a dozen milling about, looking through the racks. Some of them looked our way and I avoided eye contact. The air in the store had been soft, relaxed, and comfortable. Within seconds, I felt it change. Tension filled the air, but not the kind that people felt when in trouble or angry. It felt like I did when one of my girls dragged me off to the bedroom and I knew what was coming.

I stared at the floor, avoiding looking at anyone else, including Jordan. I knew something would happen, but not so quickly or palpably.

Someone walked up to us. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I looked up to see if she was talking to me or to Jordan. She was looking at me. She had wavy, pale blond hair that brushed her shoulders and deep blue eyes I could have lost myself in. Unable to stop myself, I looked her over. She was short and petite. She wore a pink top with a wide, frilly neck line and short sleeves. It hugged her chest, which looked huge on her small frame, and before my eyes her nipples hardened under the material. Her skirt was denim and floated about her thighs with the slightest move. She smiled at me when I met her eyes again and I wondered if she was one of the girls Jordan had mentioned.

Remembering the emotions I felt from Robyn, I was tempted right then and there to take off my Fetish and leave. This girl couldn't have been any older than I was. She didn't need to be tied to someone at such a young age, especially a sex Magus.

Before I did anything though, Jordan said, "Daisy, this is Seth. Seth, Daisy."

Daisy never even glanced at Jordan. She held her hand out to me, but not in a purely vertical, all-business hand shake. It was bent at the wrist like she wanted me to take her hand, maybe kiss it, maybe lead her somewhere quiet.

I shook her hand in a quick motion with the intent of letting her go immediately, but the soft texture of her hand caught my attention. It felt good to hold her hand, really good.

"Welcome to Silk and Lace, Mr... ?" another feminine voice asked.

I withdrew my hand from Daisy's in practiced fear and turned to face the newcomer's wrath. That wasn't the expression on her face though. She was smiling too, but not in the same way as Daisy. She had golden-blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and a ruby smile. She wore a skirt suit that only marginally concealed her figure. I could tell that though she was small in stature, she had curves. Her jacket was dark grey, pin-striped, and closed with only the button just below her breasts. Her blouse was white with the collar lying along the lapels of the coat, and unbuttoned down to the same point. Both framed her cleavage and both hugged her breasts, putting them on display. Her skirt was light gray, form-fitting, and stopped less than half-way down her thighs. Stockings brought out the shape of her legs and black pumps finished her ensemble.