Chapter 11

It had been a week since Aggie’s eyes had been opened to an alternative kind of sex by Trish McMartin. She had been consoling Trish after bridge when she lamented how her husband was rejecting her for her identical twin. Embracing the weeping woman Aggie was taken aback by the moves Trish was making on her. At the same time, she was baffled by the feelings that the younger female was causing inside her body. They ended up in her Aggie’s bedroom with Trish imparting her knowledge to the older but less experienced woman. By the time Trish left, Aggie was curiously amazed at what she had learned and how she felt about experiencing sex with another woman.

She had been wondering for some time if her three friends—all married to preachers—were going through the turmoil she was experiencing as a wife of a pastor: living in an isolated bubble, underappreciated by their spouses, being judged by their congregants as morally superior yet and leading unsatisfying sexual lives. During their bridge games she had been asking probing questions about their married lives to find out if theirs could be as difficult as hers. She recognized general complaining but none of them individually exposed themselves to the group.

As far as Trish was concerned, she had thought that as the youngest of them she would have been the least likely to have problems. But on that day Aggie learned not only did Trish’s experience similar problems; her sex life had not only been problem filled and was kinky as well and was feeling more than apathy and neglect. She was in a state of despair. Then, when Aggie hugged Trish to console her, the younger woman’s bi-sexual experience took over and, to her surprise Aggie found herself in bed with Trish exploring alternative lifestyle appetites that had never come to her mind before.

Interested in discovering if any of her clerical friends might have been navigating the same kind a sexual desolation, she had been experiencing Aggie wondered if she might be able to help awaken at least one of them to what she had been experiencing since her awakening with Bart. As much as anything she sought confirmation that she wasn’t the only one in the group that had been so unfulfilled. By commiserating with Trish McMartin after that bridge game she found that Trish’s marriage was in a different kind a quandary. Not only was being unfulfilled by her husband she was also being rejected by her twin sister with whom she had been enjoying an alternative kind of sex beyond Aggie’s comprehension. Once Aggie became aware of this unexpected kind of joy with Trish she had to find out if the others of her friends were universally unsatisfied as well. I MUST get together with them one-on-one.

She was talking on the phone with Carla Addebury wife of the Presbyterian Minister in town. Carla had called to enlist Aggie in an interchurch bridge club. “I told one of our parishioners that I play bridge with three other pastors’ wives and she made the suggestion that we try to form kind of bridge society that will bring our different churches together in a common cause.” During the last bridge game Carla made a comment about her husband involving her in all kinds of community projects. The way she said it was so derogatory to her husband that all the other players were looking at each other out of the corners of their eyes. It was the second kind of gibe Carla had made in as many bridge parties.

“That’s all I need Agatha,” Carla went on, “another project to make the magnificent Reverend Reginald Addebury look like a saint in the eyes of the community, ”

Wow, Aggie thought, they must have had a doozy today ... sounds like my timing’s right on. “But you have to admit Carla it really IS a good idea,” she responded.

“Of course, it’s a good idea Agatha. I’m sorry I’m being short with you, but Reggie and I had a real pip this morning. To tell the truth Agatha I just need to talk with someone who understands what we pastor’s wives have to go through while trying to maintain our sanity. Do you think we could get together for lunch soon?”

Aggie thought, this is going to be easier than I imagined. I don’t really want to do the work for another interfaith project but how can I get out of it? “Are you free for lunch tomorrow Carla...? You are...? Good, how about Pascal at 1:00 ... yes 1:00. The lunch crowd should be leaving by then ... seems like we have a lot to talk about.”

It was 12:40 when Aggie arrived at Pascal. She wanted to make sure that the table she had in mind would be free. It was the most private one in the far corner. After waiting twenty minutes she sat down and told the waitress that a friend would be along in the next fifteen minutes. Carla arrived just three minutes later, she looked harried. Though she appeared perplexed that Aggie had arrived so much earlier she also seemed relieved that she was there. “I wanted to make sure that we got this table Carla, so we can talk privately.”

With a pinched look on her face Carla snipped, “And WHY would we need to talk so privately?” Catching herself acting in such a pissy manor she took a couple of deep breaths then said, “Oh my goodness Agatha I’m sorry. I really should be thanking you. I’m just not myself lately.” Putting her head in her hand Carla took a couple deeper breaths. She appeared on the verge of tears. Raising her head, she went on: “Actually Agatha I need to talk with someone BADLY about so MANY things. I just don’t know where to begin.”

Patting her friend’s hand Aggie said, “You look beside yourself Carla, why don’t we start with a glass of wine?”

Looking around the restaurant as if she were trying to spot a familiar face Carla asked, “Isn’t it a little early in the day to be drinking Agatha?”

For goodness sake, Aggie thought, why do we have to act like we’re in such a goldfish bowl? She knew perfectly well why. Because people judged clerical people by different standards always trying to discover dirt for gossip ... to see if they could uncover a scandal. But two grown women having wine with their lunch, that’s just going a little too FAR.

“Last year Carla I thought the same way. My life was unexciting, I really didn’t understand to how much of an extent. Then something happened ... I can’t go into all the particulars at the moment, but I find myself doing exactly what I want now. You and I Carla, and any other pastor’s wife have the same right to enjoy ourselves as anybody else. I never thought that way before I had my eyes opened ... But now? If people don’t like it, they can just go suck a pickle.”

Carla’s lips curled into a smile at the silly phrase. “What does Phillip think?”

“Philip?” Aggie said with a wry grin, “He and I have hashed this out Carla. At first, he didn’t accept my new attitude, but I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him that if he wanted to keep me as his wife, he had to loosen the reins enough for me to breathe.”

Carla’s eyes opened like she was seeing something she couldn’t believe. “Would you have REALLY left him Agatha?”

“I don’t know Carla. But what I do know is that no pastor who has what he considers a normal marriage would ever want to go through a divorce. It could throw a serious monkey wrench into his ministry. When I held his feet to the fire, he was too uncomfortable to take the chance that I wasn’t bluffing. As a result, my life has become much more comfortable.” With a smile she winked. “So, what kind of wine do you want?”

Still not sure of herself the Reverend Dr. Addebury’s wife looked around the room and said, “Um white I guess Agatha. Yes white.”

When the waitress brought their menus Aggie said, “Before we order we’ll have two glasses of your house Sauvignon Blanc.”

Carla didn’t know what to do with her hands. With a pleading look in her eyes she said, “I’m sorry Agatha but I’m just a bundle of nerves.”

“You were noticeably upset on the phone yesterday Carla. I haven’t missed some of the comments you’ve been making about Reggie at bridge either. Sounds to me like you’re having a bit more of just usual marital troubles at home.” Pursing her lips Carla expelled excess air. Aggie reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I’m sure that talking about it will help Carla.” She smiled and added, “Because of our places in the community and who our husbands are we are all counselors of a sort sweetie. Though none of us have ever never talked about it we all understand the pitfalls of our husbands’ callings, don’t you think?”

The waitress brought two glasses of white wine and set one in front of each woman. “It’ll be a while before we order Miss,” Aggie said. “I’ll let you know when we’re ready.” Ordinarily a placid woman Carla, seemed in a state of dismay. Today of all days Aggie wanted their conversation to flow in a way it never had. Lifting her glass, she toasted, “To a more understanding friendship.”

Looking down at the table then pleadingly up into her friend’s eyes Carla repeated the toast and touched her glass to Aggie’s. Taking a sip Aggie put her glass down while Carla was taking a long pull. Looking away then back she apologized for such unladylike behavior. As the pregnant pause gestated Aggie held her gaze in an accepting and empathetic manner. With hardening features Carla’s eyes welled as she said in a resentful voice, “Our marriage is moving into a really bad place Agatha.”

Reaching across the table Aggie covered her friends hand and asked, “Take your time Carla, when you feel ready to talk about it you can let me have it,” she said, lifting her glass to her lips.

Carla dabbed at her eyes with her napkin, took a couple of string breaths into her nostrils and said, “I thought I was so in love with him when we got married Agatha. For five solid years it just grew stronger. We seemed like a couple of kids.” She took another strong sip. “Reggie used to come home and tell me how women would come into his office for counseling? He said some of them even made advances. I knew when they did, he’s persuasive and it excited him to have women come onto him and um...

“He made more passionately love to you?”

Carl let out a huge breath and said, “I’ve never talked about things like this before Agatha.” Her relief was obvious. With a hopeful smile she asked, “Did Phillip act in the same way?”

With a crooked smile Aggie nodded and thought I wish. But she carried the masquerade to convince her friend that she had a complete understanding of her feelings. With a twinge of jealousy for what Carla had said about her early years of marriage, she would have been ashamed to talk about the kind of pathetic sex she and Phillip really shared.

Taking Agatha’s silence as agreement she went on, “I guess it’s the same with all young couples huh Agatha?”

“It seems so Carla,” Aggie answered with a knowing smile. “Would you do me a favor Hun?” Carla raised her eyebrows. “Would you mind calling me Aggie?”

With a surprised grin Carla responded “AGGIE, WOW, I’ve never allowed myself to think t of you as an AGGIE. I’ve always wanted to, but you’ve always been so um ... prim and proper ... and you have always seemed so um ... well classier than an Aggie.”

“That’s the aura Phillip has always expected of me, the porcelain figurine of the wife of a Minister of the Gospel ... an Aggie? Definitely not an AGGIE.” She wrinkled her brow and rolled her eyes.

As she thought about the irony of having the torrid affair at the Jersey shore with the young lifeguard, she remembered that within a half hour of sitting at the dinner table with her Bart had said, ‘You don’t seem like an Agatha at all; you seem more to me like an Aggie.’ Funny she thought how different people read a person’s personality in different ways. Obviously, Bart read the truth, something I’d been denying for all those years then said, “I met a man about a year ago Carla who said I seemed more like Aggie than Agatha.” Perplexed Carla raised her eyebrows. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it later. But we’ll need to get on top of your dilemma first.”

Continuing on Carla said, “Our life was idyllic for about five years before things started to change.”

“That happens in all marriages Carla.”

“Reggie was assigned to the church he serves now, a more uppity church as you know Aga ... um Aggie. He does less counselling because he has a pastoral assistant who counsels quite a bit himself ... with people I think of as the less important than those Reggie counsels. He only chooses to counsel those who can impact the finances of the church.”

Going on, “During the time I was busy with the children our um ... sex lives became um ... less exciting (she gave Aggie a shy smile which Aggie returned with confirming one. Then um ... we started having less and less sex. I just assumed that this happened in most marriages. At first, he used to brag about women coming on to him all the time but never mentions it anymore. I’ve also noticed...”

Aggie interrupted, “Mysterious eye communication and body language between your husband and women in church?”

“My goodness Aggie you really DO understand, don’t you?” Aggie smirked. “I never imagined that the same thing could have been going on in yours and Phillip’s marriage. You two have always seemed so perfect.”

“Guess again Carla.”

“Oh my.” Taking a substantial swig of her wine Carla haltingly started, “I, I...” but couldn’t continue.

“Go on Carla. You’ve got to get this out in the open. Spill your beans and I’ll tell you how I am in a remarkably similar situation when I know about your problem.”

With an appreciative gaze Carla shook her head, took a couple of deep breaths, and continued, “I’ve suspected for years but have continued to deny it. Lately I’ve only become more and more convinced. Yesterday Aggie I almost caught him in the act ... that was just before you called me.”

“How did that happen?” Aggie asked then added, “By the way Carla the lunch is on me, I’m the one who called, ok?” Carla started to protest but Aggie held up her hand and stopped her.

“She’s the chairman of the worship committee, an attractive woman in her late thirties ... very attractive with a dynamic personality.” She picked up her wine glass, swirled the contents and took a sip. “I’m not a lush Agatha; I just need something to settle me down ... before I do something I’ll be sorry for.”

“I understand Carla. The people who know me best, which doesn’t include Phillip, call me Aggie. Will you?”

Carla’s cheeks were turning pink from the wine. “Aggie,” she repeated with her shy smile. “It definitely has a more down-to-earth-sound to it.” Still a bit disbelieving she said, “But you HAVE always been so prim and proper...” She grinned and stuck out her hand which Aggie took. “Glad to meet you Aggie.”

“Maybe you’ll think differently about it after lunch,” Aggie responded then added, “After you tell me your story, I’ll tell you mine ... if you can handle it.”

Taking another sip of wine Carla said, “For the first time since I realized what an unnatural kind of life a wife of a pastor has to lead, I’m getting the feeling that there are more goldfish in the bowl than just me Aggie,” shrugging her shoulders with a smirk.

Raising her eyebrows Aggie cocked her head and said, “Maybe this is the beginning of a long-awaited support group. So, tell me sweetie, what makes you so sure that Reggie is having an affair?”

Taking another a sip of wine she raised her eyebrows in thought, held up her index finger and grabbed it with her other hand. “He has rarely come home from his evening church meetings later than 10:00 or 10:15. But for the last three months, after the worship committee meetings, he has come home at 10:50, 11:30 and 11:45.” Grabbing the next finger, she added, “He’s always worked on his sermons at home on Saturdays but for the last three months he says that he goes to the library to work on them.”

Today I went down to the church office—he left his cellphone at home and I was taking it to him—the church secretary wasn’t in the outer office, so I knocked on his door and went in. Amy Merchant, chairperson of the worship committee was sitting quickly down in the seat opposite the desk. She was smoothing her dress and her cheeks were all red. Her lipstick was smudged.”

“That’s not proof an affair Carla, a dalliance perhaps, but not an affair.”

“I might be naïve Aggie,” Carla said, “but I haven’t just fallen off the turnip truck, remember the 11:30 and 11:45 nights? After Reggie went to sleep, I checked the hamper. There were semen stains in his underwear.”

With a smiling snuffle Aggie said, “You’re quite the spy Carla, aren’t you?”

Carla took another sip of wine. “You’re damn right I am Aggie.”

“Have you ever had reason to suspect him before?”

“Yes, but never found this kind of proof before. I’ve had suspicions though.” Cocking her head, she said, “quite the detective, right but you’ve probably never had to deal with something like this Aggie.”

“From your mouth to God’s ears Carla,” Aggie said. “Unlike you I never had a clue until just recently. I’m ashamed to say that I allowed myself to be sexually repressed. I was so brain-dead though that I didn’t even know THAT until a year ago.”

“Are you actually saying that Phillip WILCOX has had an affair Aggie?” Aggie nodded. “And you’re sexually REPRESSED?” Carla was weighing similarities to their marriages.

“I WAS sexually repressed Carla,” Aggie answered with a menacing stare.

Returning Aggie’s gaze Carla held it then looked away, too intimidated to blatantly pursue what was going through her head. “No WAY Aggie. You’re the one who seems to have it all together.”

With a smirk she said, “The next thing you’re going to say Carla is that Trish McMartin is happy in her marriage.”