Chapter 3: Crime and Punishment

Wendy tried real hard to keep a straight face. Violet sat and laughed. "OWsumabichmuthafucka," she said again.

Wendy laughed, tried to get her game face back, but lost it.

Rachael and Kimberley had to turn away, so I couldn't see their faces, but the shoulder shaking gave it away.

"Yes, Ma'am. Move the airplane."

"We'll put the rollers back and wind up the cable while you check for sticks and stuff." Wendy said, "we're not completely mean about it."

"Don't forget to move any cactus. Take a shovel. There's always one in the potty." Kim gave me a hint, "If we get back, you should pay attention when a crew chief gives guided tours."

"He couldn't pay attention if it cost a quarter," laughed Wendy. My wife ... what was I thinking?

Having multiple lovers is probably fun ... some guys do it. There must be a weird excitement to getting away with something.

Being married to three put me at an extreme disadvantage. Your normal bigamist has wives at least across town, if not in different cities ... mine not only knew each other, they lived together. I didn't have a chance.

I can see it on your face. When did Kim and Rache become wives? I haven't a clue. Evidently, they decided that between them ... nobody asked me. I went to bed with Wendy and woke up to my morning wood being used by one of them. I couldn't tell who ... I couldn't see. I had thighs in my eyes.

I grabbed one of the rifles and opened the ammo box. Magazines already loaded greeted my eye and a green book labeled Colt AR-15 and printed with several different languages to a page. Thank you Colt ... at least you included English.

English was the only one I could read, and the line drawings were far more instructive than the photographs.

"The AR-15 is based on the 7.62 mm AR-10, designed by Eugene Stoner, Robert Fremont and L. James Sullivan of the Fairchild ArmaLite corporation. The AR-15 was developed as a lighter, 5.56 mm version of the AR-10. The "AR" in AR-15 comes from the ArmaLite name. Colt purchased the right to manufacture the AR15 from ArmaLite in 1959.

Disassembly and Cleaning as follows:"

Pretty simple, actually. A few clicks, snaps, twists, pushes and pulls and the damn thing seemed to fall apart on top of the crate I was using as a bench. Naturally, the note, "WARNING: SPRING" was after the fact, on the next page and "UNSECURED tapered pin: please note direction," was right in there too. The last page was the nightmare: REASSEMBLE IN REVERSE ORDER.

A language lesson Violet didn't need burst forth from my lips as Reassembly in Reverse Order took place over the next several hours. The pages in the book were flimsy and easily windblown, so much of that time was spent finding the right page for the procedure I was attempting, while holding what I had with one hand and cursing evolution: I really could use my prehensile tail.

'It's Ok. Daddy. Mommies are teaching me Words too, ' I heard Violet in my head. Then she proceeded to use some very colorful terms concerning roller conveyors, C46 latches and This Way Up arrows stamped so small as to be unreadable.

The trip out to the far end of the cable was educational for her, too. It seems only one end of the cable attached to the winch under the floor hatch and that end was 'way to fuck and gone out there.' Or so Violet said.

'Daddy, mommy's don't like the C46 very much right now. Mommy Kim has a "shiner," Mommy Rachael is limping and Mommy Wendy broke a nail. Daddy, what's a "shiner"? Why is Mommy Wendy mad about a nail?'

'Violet, "I broke a nail" rates right up there with, "When I get this baby on the ground, I'm gonna chase you down with a sharp knife and fix your proud Daddy ass. PUSH PUSH."' I made the appropriate noises for birth.

'Oooh, that bad?' Violet evidently knew the sounds and faces of birth.