Chapter 4

I am Pierce Bridgeport, I am twenty six years old, and from now on, I'll relate you the story of mine and my mother's torn lives and our final relationship.

I have been working as a deep sea welder on several oil platforms in the North Sea for an American company and only went to shore every fourth week, from the beginning my job has kept me away from the mainland for weeks at a time. I could usually expect to be home (a spacious apartment where I live alone, with the occasional feminine visit) one weekend each month or even every six weeks and sometimes I was able to stay, if things were easy at work, for a whole week. I'm used to work way up north in the sea rigs looking for oil on the sea-bed doing everything that needs sub aquatic welding, within and outside, on the big oil and gas drill wells.

My eight hours shift at work let me with long periods of free time and after a couple of weeks I realized I could not be more than eight or ten hours a day loitering without doing something useful with my life, so when I returned from my first weekend on the ground without a dollar in the pocket, I realized that not only should I make better use of my free time at sea, I also realized it made no sense to spend, in a few hours of drinking and womanizing, je, je, the hard-earned money I earned with so much effort and danger, in a month.

So, very early in my work life I changed my way of life. and decided that to be ten or twelve hours a day playing cards, reading magazines or comics, sleeping, eating and looking forward to my new work shift was not good for my future, so I decided to tell the foreman that I would like an increase in my day workload, and I began to save my money spending as little as possible. As I still had much spare time I became interested in the movements of the stock market and how to invest my money in profitable companies with which I could get a good return.

Working in the search and extracting of oil industry, I thought that this was the best field in which to start investing my money; working within the industry I was connected and knew many people, engineers, accountants etc, with whom, from time to time, when they were in the mood, I could get some tips with insurance to invest in stocks or to sell them at the right time. So, my life was hard work, study, savings and little fun. I was twenty two and I promised myself to be rich at twenty five.

Of course in a so rough work environment I was the laughing stock of my fellow workers some of whom thought I was a "sissy", their words. I didn't go to town and got roaring drunk or went with the women sailors go; I mostly went down underwater and worked several hours a day and when I was resting in my cabin I was always reading technical stuff incomprehensible to most of them.

I never went to my parent's home again; I went to the ranch in Idaho to see my maternal grandparents and remember better times a couple times, and when I wanted to see my father I usually took a plane and went to see him at the University where he was a professor, we spent the day together, and we talked about our lives and other stuff; but I asked him for, and my mother was never mentioned, though I saw the pain in his eyes, once I gave him my address and that of the company I work, and my lawyer's phone in case he, only he, ever needed to contact me.

Beyond that I did not want my mother to be named in my presence, through her memory was my own living hell; I could not rip her from my mind, her memory was an obsession that never left me, and that made me reject other women, I cannot have a normal romantic relationship, no one of them is my mother, so my contact with them was reduced to the minimum and I looked for sex merely for sanitary reasons, in that respect talk about Oedipus complex.

I wish I had had the balls to tell her that I'm in love with her. But I was young and couldn't. She is the reason I can't be with any other woman. Being with another woman after just existing in Mom's world would be akin to living in an efficiency apartment after having lived in a Hollywood mansion. I know, it's bad the analogy, but it comes close.

Beyond the fact that she is extremely beautiful, what I feel for her is much deeper, goes beyond the sexual desire, goes beyond wanting to possess her, to own her body, what I want and need is to possess her soul, I think that she still loves me as a mother to her son, but my dream is that I need her to love me like a woman loves her man.

I'm in love with her and I need for her to love me too, because mother is the reason there is no longer a woman who satisfies me. Till now, when fucking I had settled for my dick to enter the woman and fuck her like animals do, instinctively but without love. Today that is no longer enough.

Young girls my age doesn't interest me as I found them superficial and immature, so when I need company I contact an escort service and ask for mature women of an age around that of my mother.

I wasn't a virgin by any means, if by virgin you mean the person who has never had intercourse, but my proficiency in the fine arts of sex was to say the least lacked of everything that makes sex joyful and enjoyable to your partner. I had bedded a few girls before going offshore and a couple or tree prostitutes when I was far away from home.

And my only proficiency in sex was my endurance; I could fuck for hours untiringly.

When I was twenty three years old my life was a mess. The only interest I had in life was my work, saving money, the control of my investments, and long hours studying the papers in stock trading to invest trying to make more money for an early retire, as working for long periods of time under water had begun to affect my health, I had few mundane diversions and no permanent female company. I loved and respected my father very much, but I loved my mother with carnal desires and sex repressed passion.

I was coming to the end for the first time of a three year contract and one day when I was working on a particularly troublesome and dangerous task occurred something it was supposed could never happen. I was at a depth of about one hundred feet welding a part of the structure of the platform when the accident occurred. I never knew what happened, if it was a mistake in calculus I made, if the oxidric torch flame cut a supporting structure steel cable, or if it was some other reason I can't discern, but the fact was the cable was released and with its tension, whiplashed and swatted my head producing a deep cut wound from the top of the head, across my face to my chin, breaking the oxygen mask and the breathing equipment.

I lost consciousness and the profuse amount of blood coming out of the wound that began to redden the water around me and seeping upward shocked my coworkers who immediately called for help to get me out of the water and to take me to the nearest hospital when they saw the wound could not be definitively healed with first aid.

I hardly remember what happened the following days; I seem to remember as if I was in the middle of a thick fog, the pounding of the blades of a helicopter, screaming, and a flight of several hours with someone trying to keep my head still. Arriving to a large building, a couch, lit corridors, and lights on the ceiling, then silence, nothing. I woke up with excruciating pain in my head and in blind darkness, when I tried to touch my face to find what had happened, a steady hand squeezed my hands and my father's voice was telling me everything was fine, to be careful and I was going to be fine. As in a dream I seemed to hear for the first time in years the voice of my mother, sobbing, weeping and calling me:

"Oh my baby, oh my love, oh my dear son..."

Her voice was trailing into the distance as I lost my consciousness again. As I awoke the darkness surrounded me, this time, a gentle feminine voice, that of a nurse, told me that I was not blind, I had my head completely bandaged because the surgery to restore my face and close my wounds had taken several hours and over a hundred and fifty stitches. So, after several days they took away the bandages and slowly in a darkened room they uncovered my eyes.