Glossary of Terms
Mince – Rubbish
Blather – Worthless Talk
Braw – Beautiful
Paps – Breasts
Daft - Stupid
"It's been a long time, Archie. You haven't been home in over a year."
"Busy at work. Last year I broke away to visit my parents once or I'd have been excommunicated. I'm embarrassed that I didn't stop to see you."
"What about this rumour going around that you're engaged."
"It's mince, Ash. Started by Jillian. There is no ring and no engagement, just her blather."
"So you'll not be marrying her then?"
"Does she know?"
"I've told her several times, but it's not what she wants to hear."
"So the lovely heiress, Jillian Whetstone, fails to capture the elusive Archie McNish."
"Looks can be deceiving."
"What does that mean?"
"What looks lovely on the outside isn't necessarily so on the inside."
"Ohhhhhhh! So you finally saw what others could see, then?"
"Meanwhile, back in Portree, the lonely school mistress pines away waiting for her man to claim her."
"Is that what you are, a lonely school mistress, Ashley?"
"I've known you since we were mates in grade one, Archie. I don't know how many times we were married in my imagination."
"Let's see, you would have been about six or seven at the first wedding, I reckon."
"And eight, and nine, and ten ... and so on."
"Still. I knew that Jillian would reveal herself to you sooner or later. An island man can't be fooled forever ... although I was beginning to wonder about you."
"I think it was because I was away. London can be a big, lonely city. She was there."
"That, I can understand. But it can be just as lonely in Portree without the right man about."
"Well, I'm back. Back to stay. I've learned my lesson."
"Just not cut out for the big city, eh?"
"I guess not. But I must say, you have a braw way of welcoming me back."
"I'm a patient woman, Arch. We're both still young -- twenty-six. We have time on our side."
"You aren't disappointed in me? Jillian came between us for a while."
"I was angry. I didn't bother with disappointed. I went straight to pissed. You were mine. You've always been mine. How could that black-haired bitch come between us? What was it? The inheritance? The Bentley? The Chelsea House? Her tits were bigger?"
"It was never the house, the money, or the car -- but they were nice tits."
"Ouch! Take it easy, Ash. I was teasing. She couldn't hold a candle to you."
"Oh really. Any just how could she not?"
"Well, let's see. That mass of golden curls that cascades halfway down your back. So completely natural that you don't have to do anything but brush it. Every morning you look like you've spent hours at the hairdresser."
"That's it, just my hair?"
"No! Your eyes. Blue as sea, sparkling in the sunlight. Your lips, slim and forever wrinkled in that funny little smile of yours. Your skin, pale in the sunlight like polished ivory."
"What about my tiny paps?"
"Did I ignore them tonight? Did I not pay homage to them properly?"
"Yes ... I loved it too. What else."
"Your scent. You never really need perfume, Ash. You give off a perfect, fresh fragrance that no one could duplicate artificially. One whiff of you and I'm ready for love."
"What a load of mince. You should be in sales, Arch. You'd be brilliant."
"Didn't you hear a word I said? Tell me it isn't true."
"Never mind that, tell me about Jillian. Did you have sex with her often?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact. But that's what it was ... sex."
.... There is more of this story ...