Chapter 10: Revelations: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Simone just looked at me, her eyes huge, and her chin in the vicinity of her knees.

"Another fly trapper. You need to quit doing that."

"You need to quit telling me my dad was a bad guy. I thought I'd found a father figure," she moaned. "You ... you ... you took advantage of me."

She spun around, when she made it all the way around I caught her hand an inch away from my cheek ... then I had to block a crotch kick, a knee, another slap ... and tears.

I do very well against violence to my person. I used to do well with violence towards particular males ... I suck at tears. A crying woman or a snuffling child leaves me ... not defenseless ... in "fix it mode". I can help.

So, I wrapped her up in my arms and let her cry. Of course, Simone is in discovery and denial and she did try to beat me up so Barb is keeping me in her sights ... I'd hate to get shot with my own gun, again. Once is way more than enough.

"Tell me about your Dad. The way you saw him."

"You'll just listen?"

I nodded.

"You'll believe me?"

"It's the truth you were taught, I'll listen."

"He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Tall, slender, blond over blue, commanding dimpled, I have never seen a man wear a suit so well. He loved my mother unconditionally. I think he loved me the same.

"He crinkled when he smiled, shook when he laughed, and cried when it was needed. I never, never questioned his decisions and it always was for the best.

"When the world was against me and the bullies in pick upon mode, he defended me. When a teacher was wrong and I knew it ... he proved it. If a beerbellied idiot tried to stand up for his moron of a bully ... well, daddy left more than one bar fight the winner.

"He hugged with his whole body and mind, you knew you were the only thing in his mind when he hugged. He could make anything better. The only person who gave, ... gives better hugs is you. Why can't I hate you? I'm trying." She gave a tiny sob and snuggled in closer.

"He was born in 1925. Berlin. His parents were upper middle class. Both engineers, my grandfather, a designer for the aviation industry, my grandmother, in civil planning. Highly educated and well paid, both had missed serving in the First War. Essential personnel, I believe. They were killed in the bombing and all the family records were lost in the fires.

"The Jews were destroying Germany's economy. A wheelbarrow of Marks wouldn't buy a loaf of stale bread. When the National Socialists came to power and Hitler became Chancellor, the people rejoiced. Hitler set Germany straight. Hitler was the savior of Germany.

"'Alles hat seinen Platz' ... Everything has its place. Jobs were plentiful, industry boomed. As was fitting for the blond haired, blue eyed child of educated and well paid technocrats, my Dad was sent to the best schools. He joined the Hitler Youth in 1935, a glider club in 1936, He learned, first, to build the glider, and second, to fly what he had helped build.

"He often said, "Ich weiß, daß ich im Begriff war zu sitzen im flugzeug lernen zu fliegen, dass es machte mich sehr vorsichtig mit meinen Schraubenzieher und genaue mit meinen messungen. Mein leben von ihm abhing. Gebäude, das mit einer Gruppe half mir, lernen Teamarbeit und Kooperation. Sie müssen erlernen zu befehlen und zu dienen",... 'knowing that I was going to be sitting in that glider learning to fly it made me very careful with my screwdriver and exact with my measurements. My life depended on it. Building it with a group helped me to learn teamwork and co-operation. You must learn to command and to serve!'