I grew up in Philadelphia and went to college at Rutgers, majoring in Finance. My grades were good and, of course, Rutgers is quite highly regarded, so I landed a job with a large insurance company back in Philadelphia, in, surprise, surprise, their Finance Department.
I was single, had dated more or less continuously since seventh grade with a wide variety of girls, three of whom, I was pretty serious with, especially one I went with the last two years of college.
But, that ran its course and now I was just another working guy trying to find someone nice. Well, nice and, you know, I'm a guy, nice and sexy, both.
I'd dated a couple of women at work, one a year older than I am, she was twenty-five, and the other, thirty-four. Can you guess who was the best sex? Well, the older one was great in the sex department but she only wanted sex and didn't seem to desire a long-term guy.
There was a new-hire in our department, a girl who'd gone to Penn State, Eve Mascotti, obviously Italian and very pretty. With dark, olive skin and about five-four, she was very friendly and seemed to make friends quickly. We had met, of course, it was a good-sized department but not huge, and we had soon even worked on a couple of projects together.
So, I was looking at Eve as a possible date, when at lunch one day, one of my coworkers mentioned a new movie she said was good and Eve, sitting across, had said she'd hoped to see it.
I took that as a possible move and made sure we walked back to our department together.
"So, you're interested in the movie Marcie mentioned?" I asked.
"Oh, yes, I read a great review and then Marcie loved it."
"I want to see it, too, maybe we could see it together?"
Okay, maybe you have hundreds of better lines than that but it was me who was walking with her.
"Yeah, that would be nice. When would you want to see it?"
I really didn't know if she was seeing anyone at the time but barged ahead with, "Oh, maybe Friday night. Like a bite to eat after work or something, then see the movie?"
"That would be nice, I'll check the movie schedule and we can plan on supper somewhere near the theater," she said brightly.
I was captivated; her smile, her demeanor, oh, she was just perfect. I agreed, of course, and the date was set. I was more excited than I'd been in a long time.
She sat next to me at lunch on Friday, that was a first and it really made me hope that this young woman would turn out to be very special.
We met at the elevator after work and went to a local Italian place, I figured that would be safe, for sure, and we had a glass of Barolo, then ordered. The movie was starting at seven-forty which gave us plenty of time.
She was absolutely charming over dinner. I was quite captivated by her open smile and cheerfulness, she was just fun to be with. I didn't commit any obvious mistakes and by the time the movie was over, I knew I wanted to see Eve Mascotti again.
We had a drink after the movie, then walked back to our office building to the garage where I escorted her to her car. I didn't kiss her goodnight as I'd wanted to because when we got to her car she put her hand out so we shook. Boy, did I want to kiss Eve Mascotti. I dreamed of it all the way home that night.
On Monday, I was on the alert to see her, looking around as people came in and, finally, there she was. I made it over to her cubicle and said hello, telling her once again how much fun I'd had on Friday.
She said she did as well though I couldn't quite tell for sure she was feeling the same enthusiasm I was. But, at lunch, she came in and sat in the chair that I'd tried to keep empty by placing a looseleaf binder on it and we had a nice conversation. On the way back to work, I asked her out again for Friday and ... yes, she said yes. My heart did a flip.
Well, we found another movie to see after a nice dinner, this time at a favorite Thai restaurant of mine. The restaurant she liked very much, it turned out that she, too, liked Thai food as much as I did. The movie, however, well, it was marginal but at least I was with Eve, that was what I really enjoyed.
I had the nerve to ask her out for the next Saturday evening, this meaning that I would pick her up at her place, wherever that was, rather than leave together directly from work.
Taking her back to her car was nice, the evening was warm and lovely as was the girl I was with. We got to her car and again, she put her hand out but at least I gripped it with both hands and held it for a bit.
On Monday, she asked me if I was planning anything yet for our date on Saturday and I told her I hadn't. Then, she asked me if I'd just like to come to her place and she would do up a nice Italian meal if I would bring the wine, preferably a nice Italian wine, she said with a dimpled smile that melted the edges of my heart.
An evening with Eve, just the two of us at her apartment. You know I agreed.
I put her address in my GPS and headed there listening to the directions using the sexiest female voice the system had and walked up her steps with two bottles of Barolo and the largest bouquet of flowers I could find. Yes, I this was becoming more than just casual, much more.
There was candlelight at the table though other lights were on as well and we had a nice time chatting about growing up, college and work. She was just so nice.
Then, after a lovely meal and my helping her clean up, we took our wine into her living room and she turned on the classical music station. It turns out that she got pretty serious about the flute when she was growing up but, in college, realized that a music career was just out of reach.
It was just effortless to talk with Eve, she had even travelled to Europe several times; of course, Italy was one of her main destinations, and she talked about it so enthusiastically that I was wanting to go, especially with her as my guide.
We were on the same sofa, she was on the end, facing me, and there was a lull in our conversation when I leaned over to kiss her. It was to be a gentle, nice, friendly kiss but she pulled right away.
Her face reddened a bit as I said, "Oh, sorry," not quite knowing what else to say. There were lots of girls I'd known in high school and college who would have taken my pants off by this point so I was rather flustered as to her reticence.
"Um, I just ... um, we should get to know each other better, I think, Alan, if you don't mind," she said and I brought our conversation right back to Europe and such, not wanting to linger on the subject of my spurned kiss.
The rest of the evening went fine, though, there was a trace of coolness now. I decided not to push a goodbye kiss and, like the times before, I got a handshake instead.
Driving home I was wondering if Eve and I hadn't drifted into the 'let's be friends' category which, if so, was certainly not what I was wanting. I felt sure that our future held much more than just friendship. But I also knew it takes two to make it that.
Well, this is how our dating went, we always had a great time, it seemed enjoyable to us both, we got along well, had many of the same interests and I could feel our relationship deepening but only on the intellectual and emotional side, not the physical side.
After four months, I got a quick goodnight kiss that finally made me hopeful of more.
So, the next time we were out, I had brought her back to her place and we were again on the sofa as I leaned over to kiss her. Almost without thinking my hand reached over to her breast and settled there.
She jerked her head back, pulling my hand away suddenly, saying, "Alan, please don't," leaving me wondering what was going on.
"I really do care about you, Eve. I didn't do that just to be doing it, I really care a lot for you."
"Well, if you do, then you'll find a better way to show it. It's late and I think you'd better be going home now."
There was no kiss when I left her place, I was wondering if it was over. I went over everything that happened that evening in my mind as I drove home. It all seemed so odd, so strange. Okay, I'd made a bit of a move but we'd been dating exclusively for nearly five months.
Was I involved with a woman who was asexual, just didn't like sex or want sex? She was brought up Catholic but didn't go to church and really never talked about it so that didn't seem to be the problem. She really never explained it and I didn't, somehow, have the courage to ask.
The rest of the weekend, I wrestled with the thought that perhaps I'd found a girl who didn't like sex, I knew that long-term that would be difficult, well, really impossible to deal with. I certainly did not want a celibate marriage.
To say I was depressed, didn't really get to the heart of it. I was in a real funk, thinking that somehow, we'd reached the end of the road as a couple. Maybe, I wondered, this was her way of pushing me away. Then, on Sunday afternoon, she called me and was her usual cheerful, outgoing self. She ended our call with how much she loved me, all that, those words that are so wonderful to hear but I was still left wondering where we were at. Confused? I was way more than confused.
At work on Monday, I was reviewing a project with one of the other financial analysts, someone who'd been with the company longer than I had, when she asked me, "You seem down today. Something wrong?"
I didn't really want to get into details so all I said was that I wasn't sure where my relationship with Eve was going.
"Well, she's had a hard time since the rape."
"What? Rape? What do you mean?"
.... There is more of this story ...