The door slammed and he was gone.
That sounds more like an ending than a beginning, doesn't it? Well, to get cute with words, maybe it was the beginning of the end. Bear with me.
I needed a job and I needed to leave town. I'd only moved there to be with Paul, my ex-husband. We'd been married all of 9 months before I caught him sleeping with our papergirl. Oh, don't worry about her; she's 19 and going to nursing school. She just delivers the morning papers for a little extra cash. I wondered why she only came around to collect when I was away at my own classes. I guess Paul's a better tipper than I was. I thought she looked like a penguin anyway and it made me nervous.
Fucking flightless birds.
So, in this town, all my friends are really just his friends. I don't know anyone anymore. When I threw him out I became a bit of a social leper. Never mind that it was his dick in some other girl's cunt. It was my fault for ruining the marriage. Yeah.
I wanted to leave.
I started checking the want ads. Not in the paper, but on the University boards. I wasn't going to be asking anyone, "Would you like to supersize your fries today?" No fucking way. Besides, I had a bachelor's degree in mathematics already. I wasn't the Professor I wanted to be yet, but I was still pretty young, being barely 21 at the time.
Hmmm ... I saw one for some aeronautics firm; fired them off a resume. I wasn't really qualified, but you never know. And another one with an oil company. Save the environment? Who gives a shit. Another resume. Pow! I slapped two dozen clones of myself into the ether in half an hour. Then I saw a good one!
The US Geological Survey in Antarctica. That was about as far away as I could get and they were looking for a stats person to collate data. Collate! Yummy! The academic requirements were a cakewalk. The technical requirements ... mmmm ... all Unix crap, no problemo! Personal requirements ... Let's see, preferably single, mature, good medical health, emotionally stable ... yada yada ya ... That was all me! Sort of.
I fired them one too! Pow!
I got some replies, some packages got mailed to me, but the good one was that US GeoSurv ... I liked it! Twelve months drifting on the icepack with nothing to do, no one to talk to, just time. Nothing but oodles and oodles of time. I made my package perfect for them. I lied a little. I even got a dissolution of marriage from Paul. Just for them.
I did the interview, that wasn't hard. I dressed nice, looked professional, carried myself well, and gave the nice old man a blowjob. He wasn't that old, maybe 50 or so, and he had a nice cock. I told him I wanted the job and I would do anything.
"Anything?" he asked.
I got down on my knees and smiled.
"You don't need to ... uh, beg, Ms. Ross."
"I can do more than just beg from down here," I told him. "Call me Rachael."
He must have been a holdover from the Clinton administration, because I told him he could fuck me too, if he wanted. Even cum inside me, because I had an abortion fetish, but he declined. He just wanted head. Too bad for him. But he did give me the job over about 14 other people, all way more qualified than me. But they just weren't cocksucking whores like I was. They'd be lucky to get through life with more than a BMW in the garage. I had my heart set on a Ferrari. A red one.
I was part of a crew now. That's what they called it. A crew. Like we were astronauts or something. There were only three of us and we met in California for our orientation, training, medical screening, and psychological profile stuff. Plus we got to spend a month getting to know each other. You know, see if we were compatible. Like me and Paul were compatible? I wondered. We'd been together years and look what happened to us, but that was just marriage. I guess they have to be a little more careful about who they send down to the Antarctic. Like we might break the earth or something.
The psych stuff was the only thing I was worried about. Because I know I'm depressed and borderline paranoid/schizo, even with all the pretty pills I take. If they found that out, I was screwed! So I hid it good. I acted like everything was juuuuuust fine! All the time. I smiled and said hi, and when I really felt like hacking someone to pieces, I didn't do it! Nope, I didn't ... I was really sweet. Even to myself.
Even the questionnaires and the ink blots and all the tricky things they tried, I didn't fall for it. You see the trick is that you pretend you're human. I'd tell myself, okay rache, you're an actress and you're playing a human. You have to have feelings now. You have to really care what other people think. You have to respect people, and yourself. And that's what I did. I'd watch what people around me were doing. If they were laughing, I was laughing, if they were sad, well, I'd be a little sad too. It's not that hard really.
After all that it was almost time to go. The other two people were both guys and outrageously normal. Jim and Jeff. One was a geophysicist and the other one was a plain old geologist, with a doctorate in microbiology that he shrugged off. He'd only gotten it because he was bored. They were pretty smart guys, and not bad company. Kinda cute for being in their mid-forties.
The night before we left they took me out and got me hammered!!
I remember we went to some strip club in Long Beach and I got naked, and I think I gave one of them a lap dance, but I can't remember. It was a good night and I made about 200 bucks in tips, but the next day I felt pretty hung over. I woke up and Jim and Jeff were in bed with me and my head was pounding! I just looked at them sleeping there and shook my head. Boys will be boys, I guess.
They were kind of nervous too, since I'd grabbed my stuff and left before they woke up. I guess they figured I was mad or something. But I wasn't. I told them on the airplane going down that hey...
" ... I'm glad we got that out of the way you guys."
"Uh, what's that Rachael?" Jim asked me. He was blushing a little because he knew what I meant and he had a daughter a year older than me.
"That little train you guys pulled on me?" I nodded and sipped my coke.
"Oh. That," Jeff said. He was blushing too because he was the one making me call him Daddy while he fucked me in the ass, I suddenly recalled.
"Uh-huh! I mean, we're going to be down there for a year and I don't know about you guys, but I need some dick ... you know ... regularly," I grinned at their red faces. "I was afraid you guys were gonna be gay!"
"Oh, uh, nope ... we're not ... uh ... gay." and "No, definitely not that." They were both saying stuff like that, but they avoided looking at each other too. Probably because they remembered how I'd pressed their dicks together when I sucked them both off at the end of our little tryst. More and more was coming back to me and I was glad.
"Well, anyway, I'm just really glad, because now you guys won't be wondering what I look like naked ... or how tight my pussy is ... or if I swallow or not ... or if I like it up the butt..."
"Yeah Jeff?" I looked at him.
"Everybody's uh, listening." He rolled his eyes and I looked around.
"Oh." We were pretty much in the middle of a Boeing 747 that was packed with people flying to Honolulu and I had been talking pretty loud the whole time because my ears were plugged by the pressure. You know. Flying. A lot of people didn't look at me, or if they did, they looked away real quickly.
"Are you guys embarrassed?" I asked them and they looked at each other and slowly nodded. "Wow. Don't I feel low! My two new boyfriends are embarrassed that they fucked me last night!" I said and then I stood up and looked around. Fucking tourists.
"Does anyone have any questions?" Nobody said a word. As though they would. Oh, there was some mumbling and some soft laughs, but they were all sheep. I wished I had a fucking AK-47 right then.
"When you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucker in the room..." I said and sat down, pushing my Stewardess Call button. "Accept no substitute."
I don't call those people flight attendants either. Especially the guys, those bitches really piss me off. Like the one who was coming to see what I wanted. He had a name tag that said "Toby" on it. Riiiiiight.
"Yes?" He looked at me.
"Are you my stewardess?" I asked him, like I was expecting someone else.
"Nooo ... I'm your flight attendant, ma'am. What can I do for you?"
"I was just wondering if I could get a deck of cards?" I smiled sweetly and Toby nodded. "And, uh ... How long is this flight?"
"About 6 hours, non-stop."
"Okay, so um..." I looked at Jim and Jeff, then back up at Toby. "I'd like four condoms also, please." I could hear my two companions go white, their blood making slurping sounds as it drained from their faces.
"Excuse me?" Toby was staring, as if he hadn't understood a word I'd said.
"Some raincoats? For my Daddy and my Uncle here," I said a little too loudly maybe. "You know, tickets to the mile high club! Come on, Toby! What is this? Your first day?"
"I'll uh, get you some cards." He walked away quickly and I shook my head.
Toby came back, leaning close to my ear. "Here's your cards, but, uh, we're fresh out of condoms and I'd like to ask if you'd mind keeping your voice down, just a little, some of the other passengers are, uh, complaining."
"Really?" I looked at Jeff and he just stared out the window. I looked at Jim and he had the little blanket pulled over his head. "Well, don't blame me if I get the seat all sticky!" I whispered loudly.
.... There is more of this story ...