"I gotta go. I'm late," I frowned, looking at the kitchen clock as I came through.
"Jen, give your dad a kiss before you go to school." My mom grabbed my arm as I tried to slip past.
"He's not my dad," I said with a sigh.
"He is this morning, so act like it." Mom gave my butt a swat through the cotton skirt of my plaid school uniform.
"Bye, Daddy." I leaned over as he sat at the table having coffee and he turned his head so I caught his mouth instead of his cheek.
He held my head for a moment too, a long one while his tongue slipped between my surprised lips and filled my teenage mouth. I didn't try to resist or anything, I just went with it and after making out with me for half a minute he let me go, smiling and licking his lips.
"Bye Jenny," he chuckled and I just rolled my eyes. He didn't know I was a boy.
"Good girl," Mom smiled at me. "Do good in school, have fun!"
"Yeah. Right," I frowned, cause I was fifteen and it was me against the world.
"Hey, Jennifer." Kyle was there, waiting for me with his two buddies, just like always. He was a high school senior, seventeen years old and pretty big.
"Hey faggot! You're late!" Harry, one of Kyle's friends, laughed and the bigger boy elbowed him.
"Shut-up," I said, trying to get past them, but that never happened.
"You wanna suck my dick today?" Kyle grinned.
"Do I have a choice?" I frowned.
"Not if you wanna live, Jenny!" Georgie, the other kid, giggled like he was the fag.
"We gotta hurry though," Harry complained. "I got a math test first period."
"We all do, stupid." Georgie punched his friend in the arm.
"Why don't you guys just get girlfriends or something?" I sighed.
"Cause we got you," Kyle said with a happy chuckle. "Let's go over here. Come on."
It was the same place we always did it, behind the McReady shed. They were an older couple, like elderly, and they didn't know what was going on in their backyard anyway.
I got down on my knees and Kyle was first. He pulled out his cock, already mostly hard and I went down on him right away. I didn't want to be late for school and I liked his cock anyway. He always took a shower in the mornings, unlike his friends, and it was bigger than the others.
"Grab mine," Georgie was saying and Harry wanted me to hold his cock as well, so that's what I was doing. It would help get them off faster anyway.
It's really hard being just fifteen and a cross-dressing fag like I was. Mom said I was always supposed to be a girl anyway, but I didn't know. It wasn't like I had a choice; all I'd ever had was girl clothes. I played with dolls and makeup and pretended I was Cinderella or a fairy princess every Halloween. By the time I was old enough to know I was really a boy, it was too late. I was already a girl inside. Outside too, because I was pretty, even beautiful to a lot of people.
That's fate or something. God having fun, like he knew my mom was going to be a little crazy and turn me into a girl, so God figured he'd do his part too. All it really meant was what I already knew, it was me against the world and I was losing. Mostly I was just pissed because Mom's new boyfriend was always hitting on me and Mom thought that was pretty cute. Probably she just wanted the guy to hang around longer than the other ones and if that meant using me to do it...
"Hurry up, homo!" Georgie was pushing with his hips. "Jerk me off already."
"Yeah, you know how!" Harry laughed and I was just squeezing their dicks mostly, thinking more about the cock in my mouth than the ones in my little fists.
"Don't listen to them." Kyle grinned at me. "Just keep sucking. Use your tongue more. Ummm ... Like that! Fuck, you're hot!"
"You hurry up too," Georgie looked at Kyle. "Why do you always gotta go first?"
"Shut-up, Georgie," Kyle shook his head. "You're lucky I let you get a turn at all."
"Jesus, he's cute," Harry breathed and he was sliding his cock between my fingers, doing most of the work while I just held him.
I was just five foot one and if I didn't start growing soon, I probably never would. I'd be small forever. All of a hundred pounds, maybe, if I had a lot of stuff in my pockets. A nice round butt, girlish hips and a flat little tummy. No chest at all, just hard pink nipples. Legs that weren't thin, but nice and toned like cheerleader legs. Probably from ten years of dance classes and walking around in high heels all the time. I didn't own a normal pair of shoes. My mom was so weird.
My face is the kicker though, it isn't a boy's face, it's a girl's face. Puffy pouting lips, high cheeks and bright blue eyes beneath my blonde hair. Mom keeps it long and wavy, although it would be straight otherwise, golden yellow and silky. It goes with the rest of me and if I didn't have a penis and balls, I'd have been pretty happy. Pretty fuckable as the boys liked to say. As it was I was still fuckable, except I couldn't get a date and I hadn't let anyone fuck me yet. I just had to suck Kyle and his friends or else they'd beat me up.
"Ummm Jenny..." Kyle was smiling down at me while I mouthed his cock slowly, trying to make it really good for him.
I told myself I just wanted it to feel really good so he'd cum quicker and get it over with, but part of me knew I sorta liked him too. I mean, really liked him and I wanted him to like me back. I knew he did, but he couldn't say anything cause I was a fag and he didn't want to be a fag too. It was there though, in his eyes and I kept mine up the whole time, watching his face while he watched me suck him off. I wasn't doing it slow for any reason except I loved making him feel good. It made my little girl dick hard and sometimes, if it was really special, I'd cum in my panties, I swear. When Kyle would cum in my mouth, once in awhile I'd shoot my sperm too and I always liked that. Except it was messy.
When I sucked the other guys I didn't get hard at all though and I did them quick as I could. I spit out their cum too, even though Georgie would hit me on the side of the head sometimes. Kyle would punch him back then, if he saw it. I'd promised myself though that I wasn't gonna swallow anybody's cum except Kyle's because I loved him. I had some of him inside me and it kept me warm and made all the rest of the stuff I had to put up with almost bearable.
"Do that thing with your throat," Kyle whispered and he was holding my head, gently for the moment.
When I kinda swallowed around the head of Kyle's dick and pushed my nose all the way into his pubic hair, he held me a lot tighter. He pulled my face against him, even though I didn't really need the help. I didn't mind though, I sorta like it that way, so long as the boy didn't try and hold me too long. It made my face red and my lungs ached a bit, cause I couldn't breathe or anything. I had all of his cock though and I really was swallowing, or trying to anyway. My little throat was tight and squeezing his cock, working to get him into my tummy and Kyle groaned and let me go so I could pull back.
"We're gonna be late." Harry was frowning and I didn't care.
"No shit," Georgie agreed. "Stupid fag."
"You guys better go," Kyle told them, stroking my hair.
"What about you?" Georgie asked suspiciously.
"What about me?" Kyle gave him a look and I'd already let the other two boys go so they could put their dicks away.
"You got a test, remember?" Georgie wasn't happy cause he wasn't gonna get to cum and he'd probably try and beat on me for it me later.
"Get out of here," Kyle told them and Harry was already walking away, zipping up his pants.
"You still owe me, faggot!" Georgie stared at me and I just frowned at him, holding Kyle's slippery cock in my hands and rubbing my spit all over it.
"I hate him," I said after Georgie turned the corner and Kyle nodded.
"He's a dope," Kyle agreed and then he pushed my head back a little as I started to suck him some more. "Hey, you wanna skip out today, Jen?"
"What?" I looked up because this was a first.
"Skip school, you know." Kyle licked his lips and maybe he was a little nervous. "Go to my house? My parents took off for a couple days, nobody's there."
"Oh." I blinked at him, thinking I'd be in a lot of trouble when I got caught, cause I would.
"I just wanna hang out with you, okay?" Kyle said, figuring I thought maybe he just wanted a lot of sex and I wouldn't have minded that anyway.
"I guess so," I shrugged, but inside my heart was beating a lot faster all of a sudden. Kyle was taking me to his house and we'd never done that, never done anything like a real girl or boy, except when I sucked his dick.
We didn't say anything on the walk to his house. We didn't hold hands or anything either, in case somebody might see, but every now and then Kyle would sorta rub me, like get a little close so our hips would touch or whatever. He was looking at me a lot too, looking down cause I was so much smaller than him. Kyle was big, the biggest boy in school, and despite what he'd said earlier, I knew he had a girlfriend. I liked to pretend I was her at night, when my girly cock was hard and I was rubbing it slowly. I wanted to be that girl so bad I could taste it.
"Come on, we'll go to my room," Kyle said when we got to his house ad once we were inside he did take my hand.
He led me upstairs and into his room. It looked like any boy's room, I guess. I don't know. I looked around for a second and finally sat down on his bed, but I could hardly breathe. I was so excited. I was in Kyle's bedroom and he was looking at me.
"It's nice," I said, not knowing what else to say or even what to do. I smoothed my skirt and sucked my lips a little, putting my hands in my lap.
"I got you something, here..." Kyle was getting something out of his dresser.
He sat down next to me on the bed and the boy was giving me a little felt box, a blue one like jewelry comes in, and I opened it slowly. There was a necklace inside, not a fancy one or anything, it was just a little necklace made out of fake gold, but it was still kind of cute. I smiled and felt my heart thumping cause nobody had ever given me anything before.
"It's got your name on it," Kyle said. "See? Jennifer."
"Thanks," I nodded. "It's nice."
"Put it on," he suggested. "Do you want to?"
"Yeah, okay," I agreed. "Can you do it for me?"
"Sure," Kyle smiled and licked his lips, taking the necklace out of the box and there was a little cardboard insert he had to remove, cause the chain was underneath it and everything.
I was waiting and trying to be patient, but I was gonna start shaking pretty soon. I was so scared for some reason and I think I jumped a little when Kyle touched my shoulder. I giggled nervously and reached for my hair, pulling it out of the way and sort of leaning forward and looking down. Kyle was giving me jewelry and I didn't know what that meant. I was afraid to know, like maybe it didn't really mean anything and that would hurt too much.
"There," he said, nodding his head and sitting back.
"Thank you." I smiled too, shyly and looked down, picking up the little oval medallion in my fingers and seeing my name on it.
"You're so beautiful, Jen," Kyle said. "I mean it, you really are and I..."
"What?" I looked at him, smoothing my blonde hair and looking at his hazel eyes.
"I'm sorry for all the times I was mean," he cleared his throat and looked down. "You probably hate me, huh?"
"No, I don't."
"It's okay," he shrugged. "I mean, it's not okay. I just ... I do that stuff cause I wanna see you."
"It hurts sometimes," I told him honestly, trying to understand what he meant.
"Yeah," he sighed and he looked really sad, but I didn't feel sorry for him or anything and I don't think he wanted me to either.
"I don't hate you though," I said. "I just hate Georgie."
"Me too," Kyle laughed. "He's my friend though, so..."
"I know," I shrugged, even though I didn't.
"That's so stupid. I'm tired of being stupid all the time." He looked up suddenly, catching my blue eyes by surprise and I blinked. "I love you."
"Oh." I sat there real still after that, afraid to look at him and afraid not to. I felt the smallest I've ever been.
"I was kinda mad before," he said. "At you. Maybe that's why I did some of that stuff. Like at first, you know."
"Mad at me?" I frowned. "Why?"
"Cause you're not a girl," he shrugged. "Ever since I saw you, I just wanted to talk to you and be with you, but you're a boy so I couldn't."
"I figured it was your fault," he nodded. "Like if you didn't look like that, it would be okay. If you were just a guy, at least I could say hi or something."
"Probably you wouldn't like me then," I giggled softly, but inside I was almost crying cause maybe it was my fault.
"Yeah, I know," he laughed. "I figured that out and then I wasn't mad anymore, but after we made you suck our dicks and..."
He stopped abruptly and Kyle's face got red. He was looking down and not happy now that he was thinking about it. The first time, the summer before, Kyle had hit me because I'd never done it. I'd never sucked anybody's cock and I didn't want to since I was just fourteen then. So he'd hit me and made me do it and I'd been crying the whole time. Maybe I'd hated him, I couldn't remember, but after awhile I didn't. I knew that. After doing it a few times I started wanting to and then I was looking forward to it, and on those days when Kyle wasn't waiting for me I'd feel lonely and sad.
"That's the only way we can be together though," I said and I was just understanding that now.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Doesn't make it right though."
"No," I sighed. "It don't."
"I ain't ever gonna hurt you again, Jennifer." Kyle was looking at me. "I won't let nobody else hurt you either."
"How are you gonna stop them?" I laughed at him. "You don't know what it's like for me. Everyday, people laughing at me, kids saying stuff right to my face. That stuff hurts the worst."
"Yeah." His face was cloudy and Kyle closed his eyes.
"It hurts more than just getting hit," I told him. "You're the strongest kid in school, but you can't do anything about it. Nobody can."
"I could tell them you're my girlfriend," he swallowed hard. "Maybe. If you wanted to be."
"You'd tell them that?" I asked, not really believing it.
"Yeah," he promised me. "I would."
"They'd laugh at you too," I said. "They'd call you a faggot and a homo and ask you if you sucked my dick."
"So?" Kyle looked right back at me and maybe he believed he could take it, but I didn't.