"Pastor all the furniture in the house is now the property of the church. If I'm not mistaken, you were asking for donations for the woman's shelter. I don't think you'll want any of mattresses from the house but the rest is yours."
My daughter stood there looking at her mom. If looks could kill, Janice would die a slow painful death.
"Hi Dad," said the world's greatest daughter.
Casey just turned twenty-eight yesterday, and this wasn't the way thing were suppose to happen. But Janice had to bring this asshole in to my house. For that reason, I sped up my plans.
"Baby girl, the house is yours. Take good care of it. Remember to have the hot water heater replaced. The rest I'll have done before you move in."
"Hank?" came a woman's voice from inside the bedroom.
"What's going on, dear?"
"Just taking care of a few things before I leave. I'll be with you in a minute, Honey bunch."
My son, Walter, just stood there looking.
"I'll be waiting outside for you Jack," said Walter.
"Oh, and don't even think about running Jack. Look out the window," said Walter.
Jack looked out the window and saw about twenty cops. They were all hanging around the house. Jack was boxed in like the rat he was.
"Excuse me Jack, 'Sir', since you're the bull in this arrangement, I would like you to meet a few guys that take the bulls by the horns!" I said with a smirk. Well, it was funny to me.
"Jack Ass, this is Agent Parks from the FBI, and the guy next to him is Agent Colson from Bureau of Alcohol, Tabaco and Firearms. They are here to give you a choice.
"You can confess to stealing weapons and money from my pawn shop, in which case you'll be placed under arrest and go with them. Or you can just walk outside. The choice is yours Mr. Big Bad Bull."
"Now Janice, I'll answer your questions now. But first Jake has a few gifts for you."
My lawyer, Jake, stepped up.
"Janice Wilson, you are hereby served."
Let's get the introduction out of the way. I am Hank Wilson; my wife over there riding some guy's cock is Janice.
For lack of a better word, I'm a 'willing cuckold.' How I got to this point in my life will take awhile to explain. So hang on for a moment and then I'll tell you my story.
Just a sec, the doorbell is ringing.
"Stay right there Janice, I'll get it.
"Just a minute, I'm on the way!" I yelled.
I opened the door.
"Good afternoon everybody.
"If you all will please follow me. Janice is up stairs. She is kind of busy at the moment, so keep your voices down."
I walked everyone up stairs. Who was with me you ask? Lets see: Janice's parents, my parents, our kids, the pastor, a rabbi, my lawyer, her lover's wife, a camera man, her boss, her lover's boss, an FBI agent, and last, but not least, a BATF agent.
I opened up the door and the scream was so loud, I though my eardrum had burst.
"HANK! YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" yelled Janice.
"Will I dear? Am I going to pay for this?" I asked.
Let's call her lover — hmmm ... Mr. Jack Ass. Mr. Ass decided that he was going to kick my ass.
"You fucker. I'm going to kick your ass for this!" Jack yelled. As he got up and headed towards me, Mrs. Ass stepped in the doorway.
"Hi hon. It looks like your kind of busy. Mr. Wilson here stopped by the house and showed me a homemade porno. It wasn't a very good one. But I did make out your fat hairy ass. I wouldn't come any closer — it's locked and loaded, and you know how I love to shoot at small, little critters!" There's nothing quite like a woman with her trusty Model 1911.45 ACP to present a convincing argument.
Mr. Ass backed up and started looking for his pants. He couldn't find them. Then Mrs. Ass asked, "Looking for these are ya?" The look in her eyes told Mr. Ass to stay put.
On to the important business of the day.
"Pastor Wilkes needs the bed Janice," I mentioned.
My lawyer Jake presented her with the petition for divorce.
"Here is a check for $35,000 dollars. According to the terms of the pre-nup you signed before you got married, you're allowed to keep your car and clothes. Janice, I need your wedding ring please."
Janice looked at it, took it off and handed to Jake.
"Janice you have forty-five minutes to vacate the house."
"Oh, and Mr. Ass, your clothes and car are in the driveway," said Jake. "Your wife has also retained me as her lawyer. Your court date for child support is next Friday. 'Till then all checking and savings accounts have been frozen. See you Friday, Sir."
"Can everyone leave please so I can get dressed?" asked Janice. "Hank would you please stay?"
Casey said, "Let her have her say, dad. I'll stand by the door."
.... There is more of this story ...