The Twelve Days of Christmas, My Version...

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Tags: Humor, Cheating, Wimp Husband, .

Desc: Humor Story: If you do not know I am going through a divorce, this is one way of me coping with it. It is not intended to be rude. My version of the 12 days of Christmas, when she hands him the divorce decree......Enjoy it and Happy Holidays everyone!

On the first day of Christmas, I handed my true love a piece of paper with the heading, divorce decree!

On the second day of Christmas, I gave my true love two black eyes and a bloody nose to go along with that divorce decree. Why, because he called me a lazy ass bitch, adding the divorce was my fault. I'm usually not a violent person honest.

On the third day of Christmas, I told my true love, three curse words in French words. He still had two black eyes, and the divorce decree!

On the fourth day of Christmas, I told my true love, oh hell, why am I calling him my true love, because he isn't! So I told him off, using four naughty words, to go with the three French words. In addition, his two eyes are still discolored and swollen. He deserves everything he gets because of the divorce decree!

On the fifth day of Christmas, I told my true love, I'd maxed out our five credit cards. I'd went shopping to cheer myself up, because I felt sorry for calling him those four naughty words, not to mention the three French ones, adding that his two eyes look better! Oh hell people, you do not know what I went through before I served him that damn divorce decree!

On the sixth day of Christmas, I looked at my true love and felt aroused sexually. After all we still slept in the same bed together, and I could not resist his half naked body at six in the morning. So I convinced him to make love for old time sake. Oh, I was nice and polite too, I didn't mention the five credit card bills, those four naughty words, or the three dirty French ones. I did tell him his two black eyes looked better, and had second thoughts about the divorce decree, until he told me I looked like I was putting on too much weight.

On the seventh day of Christmas, A good friend of ours told me she saw my true love at the local hotel with a woman who was not me. So I when he was at work, I went snooping of his laptop and sure enough there were emails from the floozy. According to the dates on them, he'd been seeing her for the past seven months. Why on earth did I let him fuck me at six am yesterday, I'll never know. By the way, I'm not sorry I ran up those five credit card bills, nor for calling him four naughty words, and three which were French. He deserves the two black eyes. I wish I had filed that divorce decree earlier!

On the eight day of Christmas, My true love did not come home last night. When he did that morning I found the hotel receipt in his pocket, he probably spent the last eight hours with that damn floozy. When I confronted him he admitted to seeing her for the past seven month after all she did give him one hell of a blowjob. He then told me, that fucking me the other morning at six a.m. was a big mistake, I should know better than seduce him when he is not awake. He then went on to complain that I should not have maxed out all five credit cards. He also grumbled that I had the audacity to call him four naughty words; three he just knew were cuss words in French. He'd better get away from me or I might give him two more black eyes. After all, I am not a happy camper; that's while I filed the divorce decree!

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Story tagged with:
Humor / Cheating / Wimp Husband /